General rant about life, not sure

[Bachmann10]

I don't know whether I should really post this in here, or if anyone will even read this, but I felt like ranting somewhere. If you do read this and want to offer advice that might be useful, I should warn you though I'm not very good at taking advice and people on the internet seem to be strongly offended by my attitude, not sure why, its not intentional, but I thought I should pre-warn you at least, considering I seem to get banned from every other forum lol.

 

I'm currently unemployed, I lost my last 4 jobs for non-attendance and poor punctuality. I just can't get up and go to work when I am employed, its too much for me. I have no idea what I want to do for work and no motivation to do anything really. Right now I'm not really doing anything much to find a job, just enough to keep the jobcentre off my back, as I feel I'm likely to lose any job I get very quickly as I did the last one. I have no qualifications past GCSE as I had the same attendance problems at college, I have no useful experience as all my jobs were ****ty office admin ones and they won't give me favourable references either. I really don't know what I want to do or even what I could do considering my past failures. I did originally intend on going to university, but never finished college and had no idea what I wanted to study anyway, so this obviously isn't a short term option as I have no qualifications to get there.

 

I haven't had any friends for about 6 months now, after slowly drifting away from and then falling out with my last 2 friends from college. I lost contact with everyone else I was friends with at college or school long ago. I haven't made a new friend in about 6 years, not sure if I've changed or that it was just 10x easier to meet people when still in education. I'm not exaggerating about having 0 friends either, I haven't even received a text from anyone I know in over 5 months now, not even sure why I still have a phone lol.

 

I have never had a proper girlfriend and have extreme difficulties finding anyone even willing to go on a date with me. I did manage to meet some women using online dating, however I only managed to do this when I had no standards at all about who I met and sent out hundreds of messages. Basically the girls I met and slept with off of online dating were all obese and most had dysfunctional social skills. I didn't even like any of them, I only met them out of desperation because nobody else was interested in me. I also attempted approaching random strangers on the street to meet someone, but had similar poor experiences. I travelled to London specifically to do this as I was too afraid to do it around where I actually live. I had to approach hundreds to get a couple of dates, both of which went nowhere, possibly because I lived so far away, but also possibly because the girls were both foreign and had recently moved to London, they likely only said yes because they didn't know anybody yet and had nothing else to do. I also tried taking classes in Spanish and yoga in an attempt to meet women, but unfortunately these were pointless as all the women were 30+ in both. When I used to have friends I went to bars and nightclubs, but these gave me little to no luck either, the little luck again coming with women I found very unappealing.

 

I have absolutely no idea how or where to meet women, nobody I've ever asked for advice has an useful feedback or any constructive advice. I strongly suspect most of my difficulties come down to the way I look, since I am a somewhat ugly, balding, short and scrawny. This is probably why I have much more luck with very physically unattractive women, as they are the ones that are 'in my league'. Also, to compound my misery in this area, I'm 99% sure I've never given a woman an orgasm, so it appears I'm **** in bed as well, not sure where I go wrong in this either.

 

I still live with my parents, in a small village, in the middle of nowhere. I don't have a car or drivers licence so this limits my ability to work and meet people further. My relationship with my parents is strained, but probably better than it has been for most of the last 10 years. I no longer fight or argue with them, we basically all just ignore each other, despite living in the same house as them and never really going out I sometimes go weeks without speaking to them. I really dislike living here but have no other option really.

 

Finally to top it all off I have no money. This is mostly because as soon as I get any money I spend it on Escorts/Hookers/Prostitutes. I've spent around £15,000 on sex. I'm not even sure if its an addiction or what, sometimes I think it is, but I don't really know how I'd tell. I think its just that I am very lonely, I like sex, have no means to get female attention and have no clear idea what else I can spend money on. I feel like a total twat for having spent this much money on it, as I could easily move if I had that money in the bank right now, however spending time with women I pay does give me a short lived relief from how low I feel about my options with women in general.

 

TL: DR – Physically unattractive, lazy 23 year old has no job, no friends, no gf, lives with parents in the middle of nowhere, also has no car, no drivers licence and no money thanks to an expensive escort habit.

[d0nnivain]

Until you find a way to fix the lazy & manage to hold a job by actually showing up every day on time none of the rest of it can be addressed unless you win the lottery so my advice is go buy a ticket.