Falling for my best friend

[Boyfriend Probs]

I'm 18 and a senior in hs. I've been friends with this guy Alex for 2.5+ years now. Over the last few months, we've reached almost a best friend relationship because we saw each other everyday, 5 hours a day because of a summer academy.

 

When I first met him, he liked this girl named Nicole. However, he NEVER showed any signs of it; I wouldn't have known if he hadn't told me he did. He never approached her, looked, talked, or do anything at all to that showed his feelings. I got into a 6 month relationship with one of his close friends, and during it I told Alex that I used to like him and it wasn't awk since my ex and I were pretty into each other and everyone knew that. Fast forward one year, my ex and I broke up.

 

After getting to know him better (a year after I broke up with my ex), I've started developing feelings for Alex. Not the superficial ones I had before bc of his looks, but for his personality, too, now. Also, I can tell that he feels a lot more comfortable with me now. I am one of few who knows what kind of music he likes (he doesn't like revealing his tastes for some reason) and what the inside of his house looks like (hasn't let most of his other friends in). He also does stupid things (that I secretly enjoy) he never did before like stealing my phone and taking selfies or messing up my hair, but I'm not sure whether or not to interpret it as his seeing me as a friend he can be comfortable around or someone he has feelings for. At first, most people think I'm very girly because I wear makeup/super into fashion, but are surprised when they get to know me that I have more of a guy vibe. So I'm afraid he might just be seeing me as another one of the guys.

 

Thing is, I'm not sure if he views me as only a friend or something more because of his ability to hide his feelings really well. Back in May he asked a girl to a dance, but they drifted apart without anything happening, and he says he doesn't, and hasn't, liked her for a while now. He hasn't mentioned any other girl since then, and it was June that we started getting closer, so I'm hoping I could be the reason why. Although I'm typically pretty forward, I don't want to say anything bc I don't want to be rejected a "second" time, and I'm afraid that even if he did like me, he wouldn't admit it because I dated one of his friends before.

 

Thoughts or advice? Thanks.

[Truth34]

Go with your gut! As a dude, I know that stealing phones and just being goofy is definitely flirtacious. Doesnt mean he has feelings, but flirting none the less. Throw out some feelers. Eye contact, body language, stuff like that. In my experience its up to the girl to really put their foot forward in an "unsure" situation like this. Good luck!

[SincereOnlineGuy]

BFP,

 

Guys just don't dooooooooooooo the things you're worried about...

 

 

Males have zero interest in being mere 'friends' with women they wouldn't rather be banging.

 

 

So this guy has felt himself as being in line (for your affections) the whole while.

 

 

I don't care whether you adopt him as your boyfriend or not, or whether you marry and stay together for 75 years... but do not miss out on that possibility because you fear him not being interested in your romantic affection.

 

For it is a given at this point in time that he is into the idea of being romantic with you.

[Boyfriend Probs]

BFP,

 

So this guy has felt himself as being in line (for your affections) the whole while.

 

Thanks for your insight! However, I have reasons to think otherwise that he hasn't been in line for my affections this whole time. I was there when he liked the girl he eventually asked to prom, and there were multiple times where I tried to get his attention, but he was so engrossed with his convo with her, he didn't hear me. I do hope that he does like me now, though.

 

Stupidly, 2 weeks ago I told him I liked this other guy because I was afraid that he would catch on that I actually like him (yeah, I know...I regret it). He didn't appear to be curious at all, and didn't even ask me for his name which I thought was kind of weird. Whether he likes me or not, isn't it normal for a friend to be curious about these things? Or is it just a girl thing? I told him how I met my "crush" online in a game through some mutual friends and got to talk to him (all a true story, aside from the fact that I don't actually like him). The only thing Alex said was "good for you," and then we changed topics, and as usual, I couldn't read his expression. Not sure how to react to his nonexistent reaction, and I also may have screwed up my chances with him since he now thinks I like someone else.