What does she want?

[Zuull]

So I’ve been talking to this woman. I’m 27 and she’s 35. We met through work a couple years ago and as of right now, it’s all long distance. She and I hit it off pretty good a couple months ago and had a real connection. She bought plane tickets to come see me even! (she’s going to be here in less than a week) She calls me and texts me every day, multiple times a day. She regularly uses various terms of endearments with me such as, “babe,” “baby,” “my love,” “sayang,” etc. She tells me she wants me and that she’s mine and I’m hers and has said to me, “Babe, you know that you got me,” shortly after we’re intimate. Where things fall apart? I have found a pattern but last month and this month, a week or so before her menstrual cycle, she gets very anxious and uncaring and usually ends up having an unwarranted conversation with me telling me that this isn’t going to last, she doesn’t want anything serious, she wants to keep it casual, and that it will eventually end and to enjoy it while it lasts. She’s pretty cold when she does this. Then, a week or after that, it’s almost like it’s back to normal. So, I don’t know what to think or do. I want something serious and she knows it. I’ve told her I’m okay with taking things slow; this entire time I’ve only ever followed her lead. But I also make it clear I don’t want things to end. When she’s not having that kind of week where she’s cold and unaffectionate, it’s truly amazing between us. We get close emotionally, real close. So I’m just confused is all. How should I continue? Should I pull away? Should I act as though nothing has changed and keep on keepin’ on? What it boils down to, her actions don't match her words. She had one of these moments this past Sunday and we're still talking, she's sweet but, still not very affectionate.

 

 

She knows how I feel. And that's the thing...when she's not having these moments, she talks of us in the future, long term. When she has a moment like this, opposite. I know she's been hurt bad in the past, completely abandoned. I just don't know how she feels about me I guess. Her actions when not having these moments, I would say she loves me. I just wonder if she's protecting herself. Or protecting me. I don't know.

[Lobouspo]

I recently went through the same thing in an LDR with a 36 year old woman brother, and had the same experience. Best thing to do is back off, and give her space and when she starts missing you, the lady you fell for will initiate. Worse thing to do when she is in these dark moods is press her, because any little thing can lead to a full blown argument where harsh words are said by both people. I will say from experience, dating "up and down" emotional people LDR or not, can really be difficult.

Edited October 14, 2015 by Lobouspo