Bigblue Posted October 14, 2015 Share Posted October 14, 2015 (edited) I'm new to this sight but have been searching the Internet for answers can't quite rap my head around my crazy situation need help! So here it goes I started dating my ex sophomore year of high school 4 and a half years ago everything was great we fell in love had our number of fights throughout high school but managed to stay together everything was great we were medley in love did everything together! My parents always loved her, my friends loved her she was all around a good girl, good hearted and ver sweet we had a great relationshi! She then decided to go to collage about an hour away from our home town which I was a little skeptical about but managed to deal with it because neither one of us was ready to give up and there were no prior trust issues I just didn't like the fact that she was moving away and we couldn't be together as much as we were used to! So long story short we saw each other almost every weekend it was all working out great no problems, smooth sailing until her older brother passed away tragically last January who I was very close with as she was as well! Everyone has there way of dealing with things I started partying a lot and kind of last track of our relationship and wasn't really there for her in her time of need like I should have been which I really wish I was, she ended up started talking to some other kid who she said comforted her when she was going through such a rough time! She ended up having sex with the kid which came to a complete shock to me when she called me crying the day after! I was so shocked and angry but after a few weeks of her crying and promising me she was over the kid and would never talk to him again I took her back against my better judgement! Here's the twist two weeks after we got back I got diagnosed with cancer, she was very good about this and helped me through the hardest Tim in my life! She moved in with me this past summer, she was amazing and really did so much to keep my mind off it and make sure I was alright! We got along amazing everything clicked again even tho I had a little trust issues with her it didn't really bother me! We had an amazing summer, it was then time for her to move back to school. She came home the first two weekends and on the second weekend I could tell something wasn't quite right she wasn't crazy for me like she usually was! She went back to school and that Monday called me and said she wanted to take a break so I let her be for a week! She then proceeded to tell me she was talking to the kid she cheated on me with! I called and texted her for a little less then a week begging for her not do leave but obviously didn't leave and told me she really liked the kid and was going to be with him! So I cut her off NC for a week she then came over and to get her cloths and we talked and she said there's no way she could stay away from me but she's just confused and can't be with me when she likes someone else! I went into NC for about two weeks, she kept calling and texting me the whole time but I wouldn't reply until I gave in one day and had a long conversation with her, she said pretty much just said she is really confused and isn't sure if she wants to be with me or the other kid! She says she still loves me and is telling people she knows she would marry me if we did get back! I told her I'm talking to another girl so I'm not just waiting around for her while she experiments with this kid. I know they have sex and hangout a good bit and she says she likes him! I really don't think I would take her back if she did decide to come back but she really was good to me in one of the hardest times of my life! She's definitely confused! I'm pretty upset but getting through it! My Main question is does this count as a rebound? And would I be a complete idiot to take her back if she does come back? Thanks for any input Edited October 14, 2015 by Bigblue Link to post Share on other sites
Clarence_Boddicker Posted October 14, 2015 Share Posted October 14, 2015 Yes, do not take her back. Focus on beating your cancer, not on a cheater. Link to post Share on other sites
road Posted October 15, 2015 Share Posted October 15, 2015 Too many horror stories from BH's through the years has shown me many men that married the GF that cheated on them only to have them cheat again on them years later. Link to post Share on other sites
Chi townD Posted October 15, 2015 Share Posted October 15, 2015 No, this isn't a rebound. She cheated on you with this guy while she was with you and then tossed you to the curb to be with the guy she cheated with. A rebound is some poor sucker that fills that empty void AFTER the relationship ends. She made a choice and she chose him over you. She put more of a value on him that she tossed you away. Look, I don't mean to write all of this to bring you down, I just want you to realize that she made a choice and, unfortunately it wasn't you. This is the choice she made; therefore, you give her EXACTLY what she's asking for. For you to be gone. Look at it this way. A relationship is like a job. You got fired. She told you that your services as a boyfriend are no longer required. Now, when you get fired or sacked from a job, do you show up Monday and start working for free? HELL NO!! You dust off that resume and you find another job. You don't go back there, you don't send them Christmas cards during the Holidays. You put them in the rearview mirror and you move on. THAT'S how you should look at this. Look, you got dealt a raw hand and you got sick. BUT! You came through! If that taught you ANYTHING, it should have taught you that life is too short to hang yourself up on one person that chose not to be with you. There's a world out there with places to see and people to meet. Go explore it! You might be down, but you're definitely not out! Link to post Share on other sites
mystikmind2005 Posted October 15, 2015 Share Posted October 15, 2015 I don't know why women think they can trust a guy who is happy to steal someone else's woman? One day after they get married and have a family and he is off stealing someone else's wife, i wonder will she complain? Link to post Share on other sites
frigginlost Posted October 16, 2015 Share Posted October 16, 2015 I don't know why women think they can trust a guy who is happy to steal someone else's woman? One day after they get married and have a family and he is off stealing someone else's wife, i wonder will she complain? So much truth behind that statement.... Any guy who would work on a woman who is in a committed relationship, is an a$$. End of story. I always hear "you can't be mad at him, he did nothing wrong". Maybe so... but I'm of the "old school" thought: "If you can take her away from me, fine. But there is an unwritten rule among males, that you suffer the consequence of those actions. And in my case, I have no problem with caving the piece of sh*t's head in, if we ever cross paths". But, that's just me. Link to post Share on other sites
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