Bobbi7 Posted October 15, 2015 Share Posted October 15, 2015 I know this acquaintance that constantly is telling me that she hates the city that we live at and is planning on moving next year. We don't necessarily live in a "big city" like NYC, LA, Boston, or any of those big cities. Its a medium sized city-we have sports teams here in the midwest, so its not really a rural farm area we live at. But its like everytime that I talk to her, she constantly is saying how there is "nothing" to do here and wonders why people from a big city move to where we live at...she says that's there's nothing to do here, etc, etc. Its like I don't even want to talk to her, because she sounds like a debbie downer always complaining about this. Is she depressed? Not sure if she wants to "move" away from her problems or something...don't problems follow people regardless? Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted October 15, 2015 Share Posted October 15, 2015 Absolutely nothing wrong with moving to somewhere that she likes better, but she should just do it instead of complaining all the time. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
mortensorchid Posted October 15, 2015 Share Posted October 15, 2015 I have a story to tell you. It's actually many stories. Years ago, I met a guy who said he hated living in his hometown and wanted to someday move to Colorado. Then I met a guy from Colorado and said he hated it there and wanted to move to another city as well. Also about ten years ago, I had a friend who left my city to go for another job in a city in the south. He left with his head held high and said he couldn't wait to find a better life there, rather snotty of him. It is ten years later, he wants to move back here because he hates living in his small town in the south and this is a much better city to be in. You can change cities, you can change your physical appearance (hair, clothes, make up, etc.) but you yourself are not going to change. Have a better attitude about wherever you live. You have to find better things to do with your time than what you are doing. Do an internet search and find a MeetUp group if nothing else, and you'll find something to do with them. They exist. And know something? If you move to another city, doesn't matter how big or how small, you will not know anyone and have to start all over again. Do you know how to do that? Chances are, you don't. Or you haven't tried. Change you attitude about things. Your city has a lot going on you have no idea is happening around you. Link to post Share on other sites
SpiralOut Posted October 19, 2015 Share Posted October 19, 2015 (edited) Well if this person has lived in the same city her whole life, or for many years, maybe she doesn't hate it so much as hates feeling tied down. Some people feel happier when they are moving often, if they have an adventurous spirit. I know someone who never really "hated" any towns he lived in, but after moving around he found a place where he felt he belonged more than he did anywhere else. So I do think moving elsewhere can be a good thing. I myself feel better living in my current city than the one I grew up in. I cannot imagine moving there again and feeling happy about it. That said, if someone has problems then yes those problems will follow them. Edited October 19, 2015 by SpiralOut 1 Link to post Share on other sites
PogoStick Posted October 22, 2015 Share Posted October 22, 2015 I have a story to tell you. It's actually many stories. Years ago, I met a guy who said he hated living in his hometown and wanted to someday move to Colorado. Then I met a guy from Colorado and said he hated it there and wanted to move to another city as well. Also about ten years ago, I had a friend who left my city to go for another job in a city in the south. He left with his head held high and said he couldn't wait to find a better life there, rather snotty of him. It is ten years later, he wants to move back here because he hates living in his small town in the south and this is a much better city to be in. You can change cities, you can change your physical appearance (hair, clothes, make up, etc.) but you yourself are not going to change. Have a better attitude about wherever you live. You have to find better things to do with your time than what you are doing. Do an internet search and find a MeetUp group if nothing else, and you'll find something to do with them. They exist. And know something? If you move to another city, doesn't matter how big or how small, you will not know anyone and have to start all over again. Do you know how to do that? Chances are, you don't. Or you haven't tried. Change you attitude about things. Your city has a lot going on you have no idea is happening around you. It's pretty crazy to suggest that everywhere is a great place to live. And people LOVE Colorado; unless you hate good weather, hiking, skiing, chill and educated people, mountains, and one of the best concert venues in the world. Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted October 22, 2015 Share Posted October 22, 2015 Meh, location really does matter. I've moved about 8 times over the course of my life, sometimes due to personal preference and sometimes due to necessity, and I enjoyed living in some places far more than I did in others. Frankly I think it's ridiculous to say that someone being unhappy in a certain place is necessarily due to personal baggage. It may be but it may also not be. Moving to a place that I liked better or that suited me better always benefited me tremendously. 'Starting all over again' was more than worth it in those cases. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted October 22, 2015 Share Posted October 22, 2015 Some people like to complain. Other people may really want to move. One person's paradise may be another person's hell. For example, PogoStick mentioned all the things that s/he loves about Colorado. Except for an educated populace & "good weather" everything on that list sounds awful to me. (I put good weather in quotes because I hate snow) My dislike of skiing, mountains, "chill people" , and concerts doesn't make Colorado a bad place. It just makes it less then ideal for me which is why I live on the East Coast. Your friend may simply be craving adventure. If she has never traveled, perhaps it's time for her to see more of the world. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
craw Posted October 22, 2015 Share Posted October 22, 2015 Next time she brings it up, ask her "so why haven't you moved as yet?". Hopefully that will keep her quiet. I admire people who freely move around so much. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Bobbi7 Posted October 22, 2015 Author Share Posted October 22, 2015 Next time she brings it up, ask her "so why haven't you moved as yet?". Hopefully that will keep her quiet. I admire people who freely move around so much. Her family moved to Florida 2 years ago, she decided to stay in her hometown because of her boyfriend-at the time he told her that he wanted to move in the future. Long and behold, they broke up because he didn't want to move after all. Now, she lives on her own and is back on the dating scene wanting to find a guy that is willing to move with Her. That's soo dumb. Why wait around for a guy to move with, when she can easily move with Her family in the meantime, live in Florida and date guy from there? And who's to say a local guy is telling her the truth about him wanting to move? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
central Posted October 22, 2015 Share Posted October 22, 2015 (edited) Location matters. The culture of your locale matters. And by that I mean the attitudes, customs, politics, priorities, and beliefs of the local population. There are distinct differences north to south and coast to coast versus the central states. Even topography matters - I vastly prefer rolling and mountainous terrain and the outdoor activities available in such places versus flatter areas. Then there is the entertainment aspect - everything from music, clubs, concerts, museums, theater, higher education, etc., that can enrich your experiences and options. Right now, we'd rather be living somewhere else, but will enjoy what the local area has to offer - or take vacations - until we can relocate. As for Florida, much of the state aside from a few major cities is a cultural backwater, IMO. I live in Florida now, and am looking forward to moving in a few years. Edited October 22, 2015 by central 1 Link to post Share on other sites
craw Posted October 23, 2015 Share Posted October 23, 2015 Her family moved to Florida 2 years ago, she decided to stay in her hometown because of her boyfriend-at the time he told her that he wanted to move in the future. Long and behold, they broke up because he didn't want to move after all. Now, she lives on her own and is back on the dating scene wanting to find a guy that is willing to move with Her. That's soo dumb. Why wait around for a guy to move with, when she can easily move with Her family in the meantime, live in Florida and date guy from there? And who's to say a local guy is telling her the truth about him wanting to move? You are right, that is dumb. Either that or tell her to meet a couchsurfer. Link to post Share on other sites
lana-banana Posted October 23, 2015 Share Posted October 23, 2015 Location is hugely important. I'm in a very large city and couldn't be happier; I would never move to the suburbs, much less a rural area. If you moved me to Iowa I'd probably wither into a miserable husk of a person. As others have said, you have to find the atmosphere and culture that's right for you. But the lady described by the OP seems a little nutty. I'm not sure if anything could make her truly happy; maybe she's just using the area as an excuse for why she's unhappy and doesn't want to improve her life. Link to post Share on other sites
SammySammy Posted October 23, 2015 Share Posted October 23, 2015 I moved from the small town I grew up in to one of America's largest cities. It does have a lot more things that I like to do and, so far, seems to offer the lifestyle I want to live. Link to post Share on other sites
Tayla Posted October 23, 2015 Share Posted October 23, 2015 instead of calling the idea "dumb", be a friend and discuss the options and her desires. Friends do that with good intentions. I , every year, detest the snow and weather on the east coast. And I will rightly endure it. Why? Because my grandkids are worth having family around. Having a desire is absolutely okay to voice and wish upon. Some people understand that priorities take precedence... Link to post Share on other sites
BelleSkye Posted October 23, 2015 Share Posted October 23, 2015 I am from Durban South Africa. Moved when I was 23 years old. Moved to Cape Town, which is one of the most beautiful cities in South Africa or the world. I was a student there and had a blast while living there. Then I moved to Johannesburg / pretoria (pta) for work. They are the money making hubs for South Africa. Even though my family are in dbn, and I have fond memories of being at the beach with my dogs, i will not go back there. The thought of moving back to Cape town also does not appeal to me. Life as a student there was fun. It wont be the same as a working adult. Jhb and pta are crap boring superficial places. I only stuck it out so long here because of work and my ex. I think at this point of my life, it doesnt matter where you are in the world, if you have great company and a content lifestyle, you will be happy staying there. That is what I did for pta.now that my work pays crap and broke up with my ex, I am not happy or content with pta. I have opportunities and will not sound like your acquaintance. Moving to Auckland, new Zealand. And hopefully I will be happy and content there. Link to post Share on other sites
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