Triathlons Posted October 15, 2015 Posted October 15, 2015 At first I loved her free spirit. Regrettably, I even liked watching her doing bong hits But now it's gotten out of hand. We have three children and she is stoned all the time. We run a small farm in northern New Mexico and she can't even do the basicwork anymore. Her stoner girlfriends that come over every weekend disgust me. What would you do?
buck3200 Posted October 15, 2015 Posted October 15, 2015 How long....I had one get bored/grew out of it
thefooloftheyear Posted October 15, 2015 Posted October 15, 2015 How long....I had one get bored/grew out of it If he's got kids and they are little, there is no time to wait for her to grow out of it.. OP,. you have a duty to protect your children...Even from the irresponsible acts of their own mother..Sounds like you need to take action fast...Demand that she gets help or remove her from your life/kids until she does.. Sounds like a horrendously unhealthy environment for children..Im sure CPS would agree as well.. TFY 7
buck3200 Posted October 15, 2015 Posted October 15, 2015 (edited) If he's got kids and they are little, there is no time to wait for her to grow out of it.. OP,. you have a duty to protect your children...Even from the irresponsible acts of their own mother..Sounds like you need to take action fast...Demand that she gets help or remove her from your life/kids until she does.. Sounds like a horrendously unhealthy environment for children..Im sure CPS would agree as well.. TFY Well in many walks of life it is considered no different than having a beer or cocktail in front of their kids. I will admit all day everyday is excessive, just as drinking would be. I knew a supervisor at CPS that did....and her husband sold pot on the side. When will people realize that the emperor has no cloths ? Edited October 15, 2015 by buck3200 spelling 1
Author Triathlons Posted October 15, 2015 Author Posted October 15, 2015 It's not all day, every day. It's just too often. She's not high now. Cooking breakfast for the family, but its only 5:30 am.
Author Triathlons Posted October 15, 2015 Author Posted October 15, 2015 And I'm not backpedaling or defending the act, but she never has smoked in front of our kids. And she hasn't drank alcohol, as far as I know, in years. Our kids are 5, 7 and 10.
buck3200 Posted October 15, 2015 Posted October 15, 2015 It's not all day, every day. It's just too often. She's not high now. Cooking breakfast for the family, but its only 5:30 am. Not knocking you, but your post is titled......... ALL THE TIME Most dedicated stoners I've known drink very little if any. I only mentioned alcohol because I've known a wide swath of people who consider it the equivalent of drinking a few beers.
Author Triathlons Posted October 15, 2015 Author Posted October 15, 2015 Peace, bro. I'm just looking for support. I love her dearly, but something ain't right.
buck3200 Posted October 15, 2015 Posted October 15, 2015 Well I sure hope things work out for you. Like I said, I was once with a younger someone who smoked alot and I had stopped years earlier. She did grow out of it in about 3
Author Triathlons Posted October 15, 2015 Author Posted October 15, 2015 And she's going to wonder very soon why I'm always on my phone.
DrReplyInRhymes Posted October 15, 2015 Posted October 15, 2015 Maybe you should try to bring up the fact, That her hobby has graduated to an addiction with her life intact, That her hobby is now affecting her everyday life, Since she's unable to function as a mother and wife?
Ms. Faust Posted October 15, 2015 Posted October 15, 2015 Have you tried talking to her about it? What does she say?
autumnnight Posted October 15, 2015 Posted October 15, 2015 Well in many walks of life it is considered no different than having a beer or cocktail in front of their kids. I will admit all day everyday is excessive, just as drinking would be. I knew a supervisor at CPS that did....and her husband sold pot on the side. When will people realize that the emperor has no cloths ? This isn't a political issue. This is a woman who is too impaired to take care of her children. If she was impaired by vodka I would feel the same way. Not everything is a "freedom fight." Especially not at the expense of kids' well-being 1
GunslingerRoland Posted October 15, 2015 Posted October 15, 2015 Lol. Wow if you people talking about CPS taking away the kids, knew the horrors that kids actually get taken away for, you'd get a big wake up call. CPS wouldn't even bat an eyelash at this. But it doesn't sound like a fun living situation. Are there other people frustrated with her lifestyle, or is it just you? Interventions can work in some cases, but since you are her husband and in a way her only coworker, it's all falling on you as you have to pick up all the slack in her life. Biggest thing is stop enabling her. If there are any chores you can stop doing, stop them. Maybe then she'll start to care. But there is no rule that pot smokers have to be lazy and do nothing either... it sounds like she's always been lazy and you knew what you were getting yourself into. 2
Clockwork Posted October 15, 2015 Posted October 15, 2015 If someone has kids and they are high constantly it is no different than if they are drunk all the time from drinking. There are times when you need to grow up and ditch the Cheech and Chong lifestyle. When you met was she into pot like she is today? 4
RecentChange Posted October 15, 2015 Posted October 15, 2015 I am a pot smoker. I don't have any political or moral qualms about smoking pot. But I am not a "lazy" pot smoker, I am go go go from 5:30 am till 9:30 pm 5 days a week - I get to have a toke before bed to unwind, or to indulge with my morning coffee on the weekends. That said - she is exhibiting signs of addiction. You said she can't complete needed tasks. It sounds like she smokes habitually - her relationship with the drug isn't healthy. You need to have some kind of talk with her regarding the excessiveness of her smoking. Voice your concerns. She will probably be defensive, but it needs to be said. Now, was she lazy before the pot? Smoking way now than before! Any other signs of depression? This could be a "self medicating" scenerio 2
Author Triathlons Posted October 15, 2015 Author Posted October 15, 2015 She's my wife. She's the love of my life. I still think she's gorgeous.. We made some very stupid decisions years ago, but we always stood by each other. We've weathered many storms together and always supported one another. No she's not lazy. She's the mother of three children and gets up everyday at 5 o'clock to make us all breakfast. But something isn't right if she wants to roll a joint everyday at 2 o'clock in the afternoon.
Author Triathlons Posted October 15, 2015 Author Posted October 15, 2015 And yes. I think she's depressed. I don't really know why. Our farm was her idea. We both were financially successful early in life and now have the luxury of doing what we want. I stopped smoking years ago because I felt it made me unable to think quickly which I had to do in my job. After I quit she only smoked at the occasional party or whatever. But now she seems to be on a weed bender, and I'm airing our dirty laundry on a public forum.
Author Triathlons Posted October 15, 2015 Author Posted October 15, 2015 And yes. I think she's depressed. I don't really know why. Our farm was her idea. We both were financially successful early in life and now have the luxury of doing what we want. I stopped smoking years ago because I felt it made me unable to think quickly which I had to do in my job. After I quit she only smoked at the occasional party or whatever. But now she seems to be on a weed bender, and I'm airing our dirty laundry on a public forum.
Author Triathlons Posted October 16, 2015 Author Posted October 16, 2015 I can still appreciate humor 2
froz Posted October 16, 2015 Posted October 16, 2015 My friend's wife is like this, she doesn't seem to realise the damage it's causing not only to herself but to her family. But oh well, there we go. 2
buck3200 Posted October 16, 2015 Posted October 16, 2015 I think jumping to the conclusion that she is "addicted" is a bit of a leap. If she's up cooking at 5:30 in the morning and doesn't get high until 2p.m. that would be a pretty full day for alot of people. I'd want to know alot more before assuming the kids are in any danger. Many daily smokers just get in a rut when they have time on their hands. I got the impression that it was work around the farm that she neglects. Maybe she just doesn't like that work and getting high is her way of avoiding it. I would try coming up with things she might rather do about 2p.m. for awhile to break the cycle. 1
lookin ahead Posted October 16, 2015 Posted October 16, 2015 You haven't mentioned if you have talked to her about it or not, if you think she is depressed have you tried talking to her about all this in general? You obviously love your wife dearly, and you want to make it work, so talk to her, tell her some of your concerns, sometimes when you bring it up to their attention it is all the wake up call they need, sometimes people do not notice things until you tell them what is going on because they do not see anything wrong in them or that it bothers others until others speak up. Be kind and concerned, and just tell her that you are worried, and that you feel there may be something else going on such as maybe there maybe something bothering you that your habits are so different etc... be honest, you love her, talk to your wife about your worries. best of luck keep us updated. 1
autumnnight Posted October 16, 2015 Posted October 16, 2015 You haven't mentioned if you have talked to her about it or not, if you think she is depressed have you tried talking to her about all this in general? You obviously love your wife dearly, and you want to make it work, so talk to her, tell her some of your concerns, sometimes when you bring it up to their attention it is all the wake up call they need, sometimes people do not notice things until you tell them what is going on because they do not see anything wrong in them or that it bothers others until others speak up. Be kind and concerned, and just tell her that you are worried, and that you feel there may be something else going on such as maybe there maybe something bothering you that your habits are so different etc... be honest, you love her, talk to your wife about your worries. best of luck keep us updated. If she IS depressed, then pot is NOT what she needs. 2
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