"Mom" is not a profession...

[autumnnight]

So have you dated any unemployed, single stay at home dads lately?

 

I did date someone unemployed. His ex wife had primary custody though.

 

But your deflection is duly noted. My hope is that you do not view your children's mother in such a pathetic light.

[nittygritty]

I did date someone unemployed. His ex wife had primary custody though.

 

But your deflection is duly noted. My hope is that you do not view your children's mother in such a pathetic light.

 

I'm a woman. This thread is about someone listing their occupation as a stay at home mom on a dating website. It isn't his kids that she is staying home to raise.

 

Unemployed and his ex-wife has primary custody? Those could be red flags.

[autumnnight]

I'm a woman. This thread is about someone listing their occupation as a stay at home mom on a dating website. It isn't his kids that she is staying home to raise.

 

Unemployed and his ex-wife has primary custody? Those could be red flags.

 

He was only unemployed for 4 months.

 

The case in the original post was a single mother. This thread has basically morphed into a "let's bash moms in general thread," so that is what I was speaking to.

 

I am going to assume you don't have kids.

[nittygritty]

He was only unemployed for 4 months.

 

The case in the original post was a single mother. This thread has basically morphed into a "let's bash moms in general thread," so that is what I was speaking to.

 

I am going to assume you don't have kids.

 

I have two kids and I was a divorced, working single parent. Personally, I would not date an unemployed single stay at home dad. I would not want to date a man that is solely financially supported by either his ex-wife or welfare. Everybody has got their own preferences.

[StBreton]

Yeah ex-hubby could go bankrupt and die. Best to be self-sufficient.

 

I disagree. Statistics show that kids living in poverty ( the ones with unemployed or underemployed parents) have all kinds of problems. Including test scores, homework and graduating.

 

Ok nitty ...let's get down to the gritty

 

You're nitpicking ... I'm not speaking of a demographic where a stay at home mom uses her time in an ill manner and if there's poverty possibly other things are going on in the family dynamic. Fact remains ...in my demographic and in my life (and that is my frame of reference and my experience of which I gave an opinion ...and I live in a very large city with a large diverse group of friends and acquaintances) ... The kids have done better with one parent at home attending to their needs ...even if it's part time and they work part time.

 

I have 10 friends who are elementary school teachers ...they say there's a distinct difference in children where there is an involved parent at home more. How about you find 10 teachers and you ask them. These teachers have even said "we don't even have to ask if a parent is home more ...we can always tell"

 

It is what it is.

 

Another poster on here said something about single parent families where mom has to work and is the only parent and how well their child did and is doing. I commend that person for being an excellent parent but it's not the norm and single parents have a tough road if they have both rolls of being sole provider and sole parent.

 

I stick with my belief that being a parent is a job and a full time one (well... until the kids are school age).

[StBreton]

So if a man's profession was a stay at home dad that is otherwise unemployed, you would be interested in dating him?

 

If a man I dated had young kids at home and he could stay home and be ok financially (not on welfare) ...I'd date him ...well I would have if I had divorced when my kids were young as well (I'm not interested in dating a guy at this point in my life who's kids are very young). As long as he was a manly man ...it's all good. Actually at least the guy would be around more instead of being gone 15 hours a day.

[nittygritty]

Ok nitty ...let's get down to the gritty

 

You're nitpicking ... I'm not speaking of a demographic where a stay at home mom uses her time in an ill manner and if there's poverty possibly other things are going on in the family dynamic. Fact remains ...in my demographic and in my life (and that is my frame of reference and my experience of which I gave an opinion ...and I live in a very large city with a large diverse group of friends and acquaintances) ... The kids have done better with one parent at home attending to their needs ...even if it's part time and they work part time.

 

I have 10 friends who are elementary school teachers ...they say there's a distinct difference in children where there is an involved parent at home more. How about you find 10 teachers and you ask them. These teachers have even said "we don't even have to ask if a parent is home more ...we can always tell"

 

It is what it is.

 

Another poster on here said something about single parent families where mom has to work and is the only parent and how well their child did and is doing. I commend that person for being an excellent parent but it's not the norm and single parents have a tough road if they have both rolls of being sole provider and sole parent.

 

I stick with my belief that being a parent is a job and a full time one (well... until the kids are school age).

 

I have friends that are teachers and are also single parents. They not only teach during the school year but also have other jobs. Their kids also do well in school.

I don't know what the public school curriculum is like in the state that you live in but I can tell you that the curriculum is horrible in the state I live in. Especially Common Core Math. I think that is the bigger problem rather than whether or not a kid has a stay at home parent.

 

Teachers do appreciate parent volunteers. No doubt that parent participation is important in making sure the child succeeds in school and is learning. I did my fair share of volunteering at the school and in the sports and activities they participated in. It all can be done. School age kids don't really have a need for a stay at home parent, correct? Also, some stay at home parents become really depressed. Which is also not good for kids to be around.

 

I don't consider being a parent a job. I consider it to be the greatest gift and privilege.

[carhill]

While I don't feel 'profession' is the correct description, as such implies substantial higher education and government licensing, 'mom' can certainly be a apt description of one's job, if that job is mothering and managing the household on a full-time basis. Our home situation happened to be one where dad was a licensed professional (CPA) and mom was the full-time household manager. Dad had defined work hours. Mom was up before sunrise and working after sunset most days. She managed the hired help and fixed stuff she could fix and paid all the bills and managed the budget and disciplined my insolent behind in between. Never saw a paycheck in nearly 30 years. Hardest job one never gets paid for. Profession? Nah.

[ManyDissapoint]

Oh please....

 

Men who diss motherhood are not relationship material. They need to pick up the controller and go back to WoW.....and shave the neckbeard....

 

Fantastic. Do you have a shaming cream to recommend?

[GunslingerRoland]

While I don't feel 'profession' is the correct description, as such implies substantial higher education and government licensing, 'mom' can certainly be a apt description of one's job,

 

The website, should really say 'Occupation' rather than 'Profession'.... a lot of the jobs people work at are not technically professions.

[Goodbye]

I have two kids and I was a divorced, working single parent. Personally, I would not date an unemployed single stay at home dad. I would not want to date a man that is solely financially supported by either his ex-wife or welfare. Everybody has got their own preferences.

 

 

 

And there are those of us who make a lot of money and can budget it over time and stay home!!! Yay us!

[carhill]

The website, should really say 'Occupation' rather than 'Profession'.... a lot of the jobs people work at are not technically professions.

I agree, unless the dating service is strictly for screened and verified licensed professionals.

 

Even my fellow business owners who aren't licensed professionals never say 'profession' relevant to their work, no matter what that work is or how many employees they employ or any other factor. It's 'business' or 'occupation' or 'work'. Same with myself. It's a 'job' and 'fun'. I don't know if being a mom is 'fun' (I hope it is!) but it certainly is a job. Big one!

[TaraMaiden2]

Of course it's not a 'profession'.

 

There's little or no training, no probationary period, no Contract, no holidays, no time off, no evident BONUS perks, no commission and certainly no salary.

Put "housewife/home-maker and mother" on your CV and see how far up the ladder THAT gets you.

 

Of course it's not a profession: Who would actually really respond to an advert that reads:

 

"*A new, exciting, long-term challenge awaits you!*

 

Ladies, would you like the opportunity of a lifetime?! (actually, it lasts a whole lifetime, so the question is rhetorical....)

 

1. No former experience necessary, other than the wearing of rose-tinted spectacles!
   
2. 10 months of sweats, hormonal fluctuations, weight gain, cramps, loss of bladder control, morning sickness, inexplicable cravings, bloating, culminating in anything up to 10 hours hard painful and exhausting labour.
   
3. Warning Clause: The above may be repeated.)
   
4. 18 years of fitting all and every moment of your time around the requirements of another human who initially will need round-the-clock care, attention, dressing, feeding, bathing, changing and having their crap cleared up (the final item may extend well beyond their teenage years).
   
5. Talking of which, you should know how to drive, be qualified in nursing, be flexible with regard to how much sleep you get and when, be open to costly activities such as sports, ballet, dancing, clubbing and general unspecified outings either with the said individual, or separate from them;
   
6. Be open to having to cater for equally-demanding companions of the individual (we would also remind you of our 'repeated' clause, above).
   
7. Mental acuity is recommended: There will be times of great stress, worry, frustration, high-impact tests of 'thinking outside the box' and lightning reflexes, impromptu and unexpected challenges, and patience. Lots, and lots of patience. Lots. No, we mean LOTS.
   
8. A partner would be preferable, but we realise this is not always possible.
   
9. Holidays: None.
   
10. Time off: None.
    
11. Salary: You're kidding, right? In fact, you will be expected to govern your own expenses and finance the project or projects yourself. There is no question that you will have to make many sacrifices and possibly be out of pocket.
    
12. The contract is non-negotiable, and the time criterion is open and usually permanent.
    
13. The bonuses include laughter, company, roller-coaster rides of emotions, pride, satisfaction and enormous achievements. These however, will be your responsibility to secure. They won't be automatic, but a definite gift. "
    

 

Honestly, how many serious responses do you think an advert like that, would garner...?

 

Being a Mom is normally a voluntary charge that comes with no prior advanced training or warning.

It's often expected of a woman (many women I have spoken to, had children due to peer pressure or familial expectations. They had kids "well... because, it's part of marriage, isn't it? I mean, that's what you do... you marry and have kids". I've heard a lot of times that "My mom would so love a grandchild...."

 

Profession?

Never.

Labour of Love?

You can say that again!

[Sarabi]

^11 is subject to change depending on the woman.

Plenty of women I know of get their "salary" for this 'profession' and finance their projects (or frivolities) using the money of plenty of other hard working people. Cousin's girlfriend is one such woman