marvy1 Posted October 16, 2015 Share Posted October 16, 2015 So, a guy that I am casual friends with through an activity finally asked me out last week. This comes after a couple months of buildup, and lots of positive messaging like "Can't wait to see you", etc. The date itself was great! During it, he said "We should do this again", twice, just to confirm. At the end, he said it was wonderful, and that he was happy to be seeing me twice in one week. (We had a group outing the next night.) I told him that I agreed, and that I was leaving the group thing early because I had dinner plans with a friend (female). He mentioned that we should go to his restaurant, and then weirdly suggested that we should make it a group thing...struck me as odd, but we ended with a short kiss, and I thought things were fine. He emailed me the next day that he had a great time. The next night came, and he eventually came up to me. He said he didn't mean to stalk me, but he wanted to see me. We both agreed the date the day before was good, and he mentioned that he had spoken to our friends to try to get dinner together. We exchanged other emails and then I left town for the weekend. So now, it's a week later, and he has sent out the group thing, but nothing to me in specific about a follow up date. He did mention on the date that he's not good with women. All the signs seem to point to him liking me for a while now, so what is with this behavior? PS: He is a busy attorney that just took a new job, which is what delayed the original date by so much. I usually hear from him about every two weeks. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted October 16, 2015 Share Posted October 16, 2015 Attorney have a few skills including self confidence (or at least a mastery of fake it 'til you make it) and the dogged pursuit of a goal. You don't get through law school & survive in the practice without the ability to follow up. Attorneys have a thick skin. They know how to deal with rejection. They are also excellent communicators & know how to find information when they want it. Translation: he knows how to get in touch with you & would be chasing after you if he wanted something like another date from you. Because he said he was bad with women, believe him. The ability to try a case or close a deal doesn't always mean good people skills. I once practically dared an attorney to ask me out; on our date he confessed that until I said what I said he had no idea I was interested. I wanted to hit him upside the head because I had done everything: touched his arm, laughed at bad jokes, flipped my hair, maintained indirect eye contac through my eyelashes, dangled my shoe off my toe, stroked his tie. . . I felt like I was practically climbing the man. For him to say he didn't know. . . proves that some people are just clueless. If you like him, feel free to be direct & you ask him out. Male attorneys deal with women attorneys all day long. He's not going to freak out because you are a strong woman. While I'm rather discouraged by his behavior, I would ask for the 2nd date you want. If you get No for an answer walk away. If he doesn't follow up after that walk away. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Survivor12 Posted October 25, 2015 Share Posted October 25, 2015 Perhaps he isn't sure about whether or not you are interested and is concerned about coming on too strong. I'm with donnivain--ask him out. Let him know that although you enjoy the group activities, you would like to spend time with him one-on-one as well. Link to post Share on other sites
HansonGirl Posted October 25, 2015 Share Posted October 25, 2015 Attorney have a few skills including self confidence (or at least a mastery of fake it 'til you make it) and the dogged pursuit of a goal. You don't get through law school & survive in the practice without the ability to follow up. Attorneys have a thick skin. They know how to deal with rejection. They are also excellent communicators & know how to find information when they want it. Translation: he knows how to get in touch with you & would be chasing after you if he wanted something like another date from you. Because he said he was bad with women, believe him. The ability to try a case or close a deal doesn't always mean good people skills. I once practically dared an attorney to ask me out; on our date he confessed that until I said what I said he had no idea I was interested. I wanted to hit him upside the head because I had done everything: touched his arm, laughed at bad jokes, flipped my hair, maintained indirect eye contac through my eyelashes, dangled my shoe off my toe, stroked his tie. . . I felt like I was practically climbing the man. For him to say he didn't know. . . proves that some people are just clueless. If you like him, feel free to be direct & you ask him out. Male attorneys deal with women attorneys all day long. He's not going to freak out because you are a strong woman. While I'm rather discouraged by his behavior, I would ask for the 2nd date you want. If you get No for an answer walk away. If he doesn't follow up after that walk away. i agree with this Link to post Share on other sites
mystikmind2005 Posted October 27, 2015 Share Posted October 27, 2015 Attorney have a few skills including self confidence (or at least a mastery of fake it 'til you make it) and the dogged pursuit of a goal. You don't get through law school & survive in the practice without the ability to follow up. Attorneys have a thick skin. They know how to deal with rejection. They are also excellent communicators & know how to find information when they want it. Translation: he knows how to get in touch with you & would be chasing after you if he wanted something like another date from you. Because he said he was bad with women, believe him. The ability to try a case or close a deal doesn't always mean good people skills. I once practically dared an attorney to ask me out; on our date he confessed that until I said what I said he had no idea I was interested. I wanted to hit him upside the head because I had done everything: touched his arm, laughed at bad jokes, flipped my hair, maintained indirect eye contac through my eyelashes, dangled my shoe off my toe, stroked his tie. . . I felt like I was practically climbing the man. For him to say he didn't know. . . proves that some people are just clueless. If you like him, feel free to be direct & you ask him out. Male attorneys deal with women attorneys all day long. He's not going to freak out because you are a strong woman. While I'm rather discouraged by his behavior, I would ask for the 2nd date you want. If you get No for an answer walk away. If he doesn't follow up after that walk away. Hahahaha, well that's men for you,,, but honestly, what do you expect from a creature who has inherited dating skills evolved over millions of years consisting of the ability to use a club and say "ugh, want sex"?? lol Link to post Share on other sites
NYC-BigKat Posted October 28, 2015 Share Posted October 28, 2015 Attorney have a few skills including self confidence (or at least a mastery of fake it 'til you make it) and the dogged pursuit of a goal. You don't get through law school & survive in the practice without the ability to follow up. Attorneys have a thick skin. They know how to deal with rejection. They are also excellent communicators & know how to find information when they want it. Translation: he knows how to get in touch with you & would be chasing after you if he wanted something like another date from you. Because he said he was bad with women, believe him. The ability to try a case or close a deal doesn't always mean good people skills. I once practically dared an attorney to ask me out; on our date he confessed that until I said what I said he had no idea I was interested. I wanted to hit him upside the head because I had done everything: touched his arm, laughed at bad jokes, flipped my hair, maintained indirect eye contac through my eyelashes, dangled my shoe off my toe, stroked his tie. . . I felt like I was practically climbing the man. For him to say he didn't know. . . proves that some people are just clueless. If you like him, feel free to be direct & you ask him out. Male attorneys deal with women attorneys all day long. He's not going to freak out because you are a strong woman. While I'm rather discouraged by his behavior, I would ask for the 2nd date you want. If you get No for an answer walk away. If he doesn't follow up after that walk away. Uh...sometimes lots of girls do this & are just teasing a guy to see how he reacts to her touches & stuff u know so I know I'm gonna be confused if u did stuff like that to me just like him. Link to post Share on other sites
froz Posted October 29, 2015 Share Posted October 29, 2015 These things can be confusing, I agree and women can give off mixed messages more easily than they realise sometimes. Link to post Share on other sites
Kamila Posted November 11, 2015 Share Posted November 11, 2015 Something doesn't feel right. He's not really into her. He'll say yes to a date if 'she' asks him out. So she invests more of herself into him and he loses almost nothing. Bleh. I also think he's dating around and has other options, that's why he's more passive... He's letting the fishies coming to his hook. Easy. Link to post Share on other sites
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