HansonGirl Posted October 16, 2015 Share Posted October 16, 2015 i don't go on facebook very often. the only real reason i have it is because a couple of groups i am in have group pages where they post updates. but this one woman i know, in her 30's, posted a link to a biography of herself from a student group she was part of at her alma mater. it was like an alum highlight. the photo used was one of her old facebook pictures. She's not looking for a job, so this isn't her trying to advertise her skills. she posted it and said, oh gee thanks to the X YZ group at State College for the biography. Am I just a weirdo, or was this just blatant back-patting. I don't get facebook any more, it's like people think anybody outside of their close friends / family care about their trip to Mexico. I used to post photos when I was in college. But now i'm older and working for a living, and barely see any of the 500 facebook friends - because they are from college or grad school or even as far back as high school - the idea of posting something like a biography of myself or photos of my vacation just seems so strange. I actually feel WEIRD about that many people seeing my vacation. It sort of weirds me out to think that one of these people would actually look through my photos. And I think it's not people who CARE, it's people who might be curious or nosy. but that doesn't mean they CARE about me. Link to post Share on other sites
Michelle ma Belle Posted October 16, 2015 Share Posted October 16, 2015 (edited) If FB isn't making you happy anymore then why not remedy it? Nothing is stopping you from culling your friends list and keeping only those that mean something to you. I've done it many times myself and make no apologies for it. At the very least you can make your profile private so it is only viewable by friends. You can even limit what certain friends see on your profile as well as whose show up on yours. And if all else fails, delete your account. That solves everything Edited October 16, 2015 by Michelle ma Belle 2 Link to post Share on other sites
mystikmind2005 Posted October 16, 2015 Share Posted October 16, 2015 Can i use Homer Simpsons description of mail to describe Facebook? [FONT=Verdana]"So a few people won't get a few letters, boo hoo. You know the kind of letters people write! Dear somebody you never heard of, how is so and so? Blah blah blah blah blah. Your's truly, Some Bozo. Big Loss!!"[/FONT] Link to post Share on other sites
Haydn Posted October 16, 2015 Share Posted October 16, 2015 If FB isn't making you happy anymore then why not remedy it? Nothing is stopping you from culling your friends list and keeping only those that mean something to you. I've done it many times myself and make no apologies for it. At the very least you can make your profile private so it is only viewable by friends. You can even limit what certain friends see on your profile as well as whose show up on yours. And if all else fails, delete your account. That solves everything All true. No idea why people complain so much about FB. It`s in our control to see what we want and who to hear from... Apart from when you get the odd nut job who gets paranoid. Then block! Link to post Share on other sites
Author HansonGirl Posted October 16, 2015 Author Share Posted October 16, 2015 All true. No idea why people complain so much about FB. It`s in our control to see what we want and who to hear from... Apart from when you get the odd nut job who gets paranoid. Then block! I was only asking why the hell do people go on there to brag? Isn't anybody humble anymore? and as I said before i do stay off for the most part, i just logged in though to check in on my group to see if there was a change to our meeting (if you read my post you'd have seen this already, so i wouldn't have to repeat myself), but I saw that. And i'm not going to block or defriend this person because other than this, I am friends with her. But I was asking why the heck do people go on facebook and post things, as if anybody cares. It's like people think they are that important. I wasn't looking for advice about what to do, I was just asking a general question about what compels people to do that? Do they feel better when they get a lot of "likes"? and what about the people who change their profile photo every other day, to a nearly identical selfie to the one they had before? the only thing different is the angle, or the background, or their outfit. but other than that, it's the same thing. And that's something you can see just by clicking through the photos, because it shows the date it was posted. what was wrong with the one you had the day before? do you like the lighting in your bathroom better than the lighting in your bedroom, is that it? I guess I am just saying I just don't "get" it. I find it a strange concept, and it fascinates me. Link to post Share on other sites
sportygirl89 Posted October 16, 2015 Share Posted October 16, 2015 I actually deleted my Facebook. People were posting worthless statuses or putting x,y, and z out there. People already say Facebook will be outdated by 2020. I'm sure something like twitter or Instagram will be the next biggest thing. I just would always hate if you put something positive people wouldn't respond, yet they would be quick to comment if something negative. Not playing into that mind game. Link to post Share on other sites
clia Posted October 16, 2015 Share Posted October 16, 2015 Just because you don't care doesn't mean others don't. I personally like reading updates about what people are doing, where they are vacationing, etc. Sometimes it gives me ideas about where I might like to go on vacation. And it makes me happy to see others happy and successful. I guess some people may post that kind of stuff to brag, but I don't think everyone does. You have to remember that most people are friends with a wide variety of people. Many posts likely aren't made with the friend from high school who you haven't seen in 20 years in mind. However, I can't explain people who change their profile picture every day. That does seem strange. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Michelle ma Belle Posted October 16, 2015 Share Posted October 16, 2015 I was only asking why the hell do people go on there to brag? Isn't anybody humble anymore? and as I said before i do stay off for the most part, i just logged in though to check in on my group to see if there was a change to our meeting (if you read my post you'd have seen this already, so i wouldn't have to repeat myself), but I saw that. And i'm not going to block or defriend this person because other than this, I am friends with her. But I was asking why the heck do people go on facebook and post things, as if anybody cares. It's like people think they are that important. I wasn't looking for advice about what to do, I was just asking a general question about what compels people to do that? Do they feel better when they get a lot of "likes"? and what about the people who change their profile photo every other day, to a nearly identical selfie to the one they had before? the only thing different is the angle, or the background, or their outfit. but other than that, it's the same thing. And that's something you can see just by clicking through the photos, because it shows the date it was posted. what was wrong with the one you had the day before? do you like the lighting in your bathroom better than the lighting in your bedroom, is that it? I guess I am just saying I just don't "get" it. I find it a strange concept, and it fascinates me. This subject has been the topic of literally dozens of threads if not more. Perhaps you might check them out in the hopes it might shed some light on why people do the things they do online. Link to post Share on other sites
sportygirl89 Posted October 16, 2015 Share Posted October 16, 2015 Just because you don't care doesn't mean others don't. I personally like reading updates about what people are doing, where they are vacationing, etc. Sometimes it gives me ideas about where I might like to go on vacation. And it makes me happy to see others happy and successful. I guess some people may post that kind of stuff to brag, but I don't think everyone does. You have to remember that most people are friends with a wide variety of people. Many posts likely aren't made with the friend from high school who you haven't seen in 20 years in mind. However, I can't explain people who change their profile picture every day. That does seem strange. Its not that I wouldn't like it. Its just I felt like some got excessive. I'd promise myself 5 minutes. Then end up being two hours later. More of a time thing for me. Link to post Share on other sites
Kamille Posted October 16, 2015 Share Posted October 16, 2015 I enjoy celebrating my friends on Facebook, so you could say my take on it is the diametrical opposite to yours. Trip pictures? Bring 'em on! Articles about my business friends appearing in the newspaper? I would like it 10 times if I could. Cheesy philosophical quotes from my aunts? Nice to be reminded of basic principles. And I agree with the internet: people can never share enough cat videos. Getting likes for a status update about your accomplishments can be very rewarding. Also, in the scenario you mention, your friend is recognizing the work of the people who designed the alum highlights. You can choose to see the actions of people on Facebook in good or bad ways - but it is a choice. Either you judge or you accept. That said, sometimes I wonder if I was one of the targets of the Facebook experiment about sad and happy status updates... Obviously, they would have put me in the happy camp. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Ruby Slippers Posted October 16, 2015 Share Posted October 16, 2015 This comment from the founder in its early days is the main reason I have minimal involvement with the platform: Zuckerberg: Yeah so if you ever need info about anyone at Harvard Zuckerberg: Just ask. Zuckerberg: I have over 4,000 emails, pictures, addresses, SNS [Redacted Friend's Name]: What? How'd you manage that one? Zuckerberg: People just submitted it. Zuckerberg: I don't know why. Zuckerberg: They "trust me" Zuckerberg: Dumb ****s Of course, by now we know that our data are being collected from all directions. But FB was a pioneer at privacy invasion, is one of the worst, and the founder is pretty much a sociopath. Every time I log on (pretty much only for work), I'm increasingly creeped out by how aggressively and manipulatively the system tries to extract even more data from me. Gives me the creeps, so I stay away for the most part. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author HansonGirl Posted October 17, 2015 Author Share Posted October 17, 2015 Ok I care about my close friends and family's posts too. But I am really talking about those who share things as "public" or to all of their 1,600 friends. Surely you do not "care" about that the guy who you worked with for a few months 7 years ago, for instance, went to Spain. And if those people aren't posting it for everybody, they should make the posts private. There ARE people on there who are celebrities in their own minds. It's like, people "care" but in the sense that they are morbidly curious. I have a distant family member who posts long posts on the public setting , and it's really embarrassing frankly. She posts things about how she doesn't like people, and she doesn't need a lot of friends, yet she's always broadcasting this on facebook for people to read, and as I said, she posts it publicly, so it's not intended to be some private diary entry. Anyways, and actually, while i do care about my cousin and enjoy seeing her photos of her children, I can't help but think it's weird how much time she (apparently) spends on facebook updating everybody on very little detail. I don't know, perhaps it all boils down to me being more private or something or preferring to share things with people one-on-one, instead of just posting it online. someone recently asked me, "did you see the pictures i Posted on facebook?" since I hadn't reactivated that week, i just said nope. am i expected to be keep up to date with what is going on in your life? And if i don't post anything on my facebook, does it mean that I have nothing going on? Are our lives measured by how much we can showcase to other people? If we don't post a photo, does it mean it didn't happen? if we don't get enough likes, does that mean we are not good enough? I don't think facebok is inherently bad, but I just find it sad when I go on there. and i just find it weird. i deleted my photo albums from college when i realized how strange it was that this was accessible to that lady I met at work, who i didnt really WANT to add as a friend, but I felt mean if i rejected her friends request. And I defriended a guy i had dated but it didnt work out and he got really offended by that and thought i was being childish. I just didn't want to be tempted to look at his stuff any more. I hate that it affects real life relationships. Link to post Share on other sites
Haydn Posted October 17, 2015 Share Posted October 17, 2015 Ok I care about my close friends and family's posts too. But I am really talking about those who share things as "public" or to all of their 1,600 friends. Surely you do not "care" about that the guy who you worked with for a few months 7 years ago, for instance, went to Spain. And if those people aren't posting it for everybody, they should make the posts private. There ARE people on there who are celebrities in their own minds. It's like, people "care" but in the sense that they are morbidly curious. I have a distant family member who posts long posts on the public setting , and it's really embarrassing frankly. She posts things about how she doesn't like people, and she doesn't need a lot of friends, yet she's always broadcasting this on facebook for people to read, and as I said, she posts it publicly, so it's not intended to be some private diary entry. Anyways, and actually, while i do care about my cousin and enjoy seeing her photos of her children, I can't help but think it's weird how much time she (apparently) spends on facebook updating everybody on very little detail. I don't know, perhaps it all boils down to me being more private or something or preferring to share things with people one-on-one, instead of just posting it online. someone recently asked me, "did you see the pictures i Posted on facebook?" since I hadn't reactivated that week, i just said nope. am i expected to be keep up to date with what is going on in your life? And if i don't post anything on my facebook, does it mean that I have nothing going on? Are our lives measured by how much we can showcase to other people? If we don't post a photo, does it mean it didn't happen? if we don't get enough likes, does that mean we are not good enough? I don't think facebok is inherently bad, but I just find it sad when I go on there. and i just find it weird. i deleted my photo albums from college when i realized how strange it was that this was accessible to that lady I met at work, who i didnt really WANT to add as a friend, but I felt mean if i rejected her friends request. And I defriended a guy i had dated but it didnt work out and he got really offended by that and thought i was being childish. I just didn't want to be tempted to look at his stuff any more. I hate that it affects real life relationships. Sent you a friend request;) 2 Link to post Share on other sites
BrokenManAgain Posted October 17, 2015 Share Posted October 17, 2015 FB has been declared a legal right as freedom of expression. But you have no idea how many times we screamed to the freaking idiot to take down that pic - you're giving the enemy fire-cordinates! I don't post on FB because if I don't, I give zero away. Link to post Share on other sites
froz Posted October 29, 2015 Share Posted October 29, 2015 Facebook has become like this but at the same time, it's too tempting to walk away from! I've tried in the past and it has worked for a short while. Link to post Share on other sites
Ashbash11 Posted October 30, 2015 Share Posted October 30, 2015 This is why I permanently deleted my Facebook account. At this age, there is no point anymore. I don't care about what most of my "friends" are doing, and I doubt they care about what I'm doing. It all seemed very superficial and pointless.. So, it's gone. Just like that. Maybe you should consider deleting your account. It's nice to live real life again, instead of living through fake online interactions. Link to post Share on other sites
clam Posted November 1, 2015 Share Posted November 1, 2015 OP... You're confusing actual friends with acquaintances. Why in the world have 1,500 FB "friends"? Unless you are using it for business purposes, get rid of these folks. I have 75 FB friends. All of these people are relatives or actual friends, people who I see, speak to regularly, and care about. So naturally I am interested in the things they post. As others have said, create a new group of just those folks that actually matter to you. "Hide" the rest (like the dude you worked with briefly who went to Spain). Link to post Share on other sites
robaday Posted November 1, 2015 Share Posted November 1, 2015 I've been thinking about this recently. I don't like a lot of the posts I see on it, I don't really like attention seeking behavior on it nor people seeking external validation. But....yesterday was the anniversary of my sister's death. I shut facebook for a long time and dont really post on it I just message my friends and family on it. It was eight years ago she passed away and she was a really popular girl I am friends with most of her friends. And every year I'm torn about posting something as I dont want sympathy from people. But I really want people to remember her (not that they could forget). And also as her life was such a big part of mine, and the choices I made following her passing away, I figure they are my friends and family and it is an essential part of my being that she was my sister and I loved her. I'm seperated by continent from most of my family and the friends who knew her. Every year I take four hours at least just looking through old photos and forcing myself to remember, because if I dont, the mourning continues for weeks, months. I have to grieve every year for that one day. So posting photos for me feels right. Just for one day. So people can remember. There are other ways of making them remember and I do speak to all of them regularly. But just because she passed away doesnt mean I cant share the love I had for her on what should be a site about you and the things you want to share and the friends and family you have. Like the other posters said if you dont like what you see shut it down, it is really easy to do. If my friends/family have an issue with me they are free to delete me off it. But Ive experienced nothing but kindness from people and Ive had surprising emails from her friends who I didnt know talking about her. Link to post Share on other sites
crederer Posted November 7, 2015 Share Posted November 7, 2015 fb is getting pretty crazy. I quoted a bill burr comment that I thought was funny and got attacked by dozens of people saying it was offensive and more or less talking smack about me over a comedians joke. I don't use it very often, mostly to follow bands and artists I like. But everytime I go on there, there is blatant back patting going on. I don't care all that much but I roll my eyes at a lot of it. Link to post Share on other sites
Heatherknows Posted November 7, 2015 Share Posted November 7, 2015 i don't go on facebook very often. the only real reason i have it is because a couple of groups i am in have group pages where they post updates. but this one woman i know, in her 30's, posted a link to a biography of herself from a student group she was part of at her alma mater. it was like an alum highlight. the photo used was one of her old facebook pictures. She's not looking for a job, so this isn't her trying to advertise her skills. she posted it and said, oh gee thanks to the X YZ group at State College for the biography. Am I just a weirdo, or was this just blatant back-patting. I don't get facebook any more, it's like people think anybody outside of their close friends / family care about their trip to Mexico. I used to post photos when I was in college. But now i'm older and working for a living, and barely see any of the 500 facebook friends - because they are from college or grad school or even as far back as high school - the idea of posting something like a biography of myself or photos of my vacation just seems so strange. I actually feel WEIRD about that many people seeing my vacation. It sort of weirds me out to think that one of these people would actually look through my photos. And I think it's not people who CARE, it's people who might be curious or nosy. but that doesn't mean they CARE about me. I have no use for Facebook. Most of the time I avoid my friends and family why the fu*k would I want to social network with them. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts