My daddy loves me not...He loves me!!

[Heer]

Hi everyone I have a personal story I feel I need to share. This literally just happened and I want to document and share this amazing story.

 

I'm a 20 year old girl and I just got out of a relationship. You can see the thread here http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/dating/cheating-flirting-jealousy/530880-bf-jealous-my-best-guy-friend-i

 

My father is a very nice but slightly introverted man. He rarely shows happiness and sadness in front of me and he is, in my opinion, scared of affection from me (his daughter). He's the best father but since he works long hours I rarely see him in the normal weekday. I understands he supports the family monetarily but I sometimes feel that he doesn't love me. Every time I kiss him on the cheek and hug him he tenses up and doesn't seems to be scared of me. However, over the years I've known to appreciate him even though he's kind of "backstage".

 

Basically its Thanksgiving up here in Canada and after having an amazing time with my family this couple of days my father drove me back to dorm where I attend university. I have not told my family about my breakup but during one of the awkward silences when it was just me and daddy in the car he suddenly confessed to me that he was very happy that I have studied so hard all these years and got into university. I was very shocked that he would suddenly say that. I cannot remember the last time daddy and I were alone and had a frank conversation one on one. I told him that I couldn't have done it without him and his support:love::love:. I told him that I know he works long hours and each time I see him he is very tired and I feel very bad. It must be hard being a daddy and supporting the family. He then told me that he feels that there is something bothering me because I'm usually different when I was happy. I told him it must be classes and all the pressure from school. He then parked the car and walked me to my room. Just as I thought he was going to leave he turned around, looked at me in the eye with a caring face and said Are you absolutely sure? I started to look down and my eyes watered. I spilled everything to him. He sat on my bed and I told him about my relationship failure and how sometimes I cry myself to sleep.

 

While I was telling him about the relationship I sobbed on his lap and he stroked my head like a daddy would. He said that he understands that sometimes life is hard but its important to speak to family when I was sad. Time flied by and we talked for 2 hours before mum rang and my dad told her he was with me. We talked so much and by the end of the night I wet his sweatshirt and pants from my tears but I felt renewed:):). I kissed him goodnight and he actually hugged me and whispered that he loved me honey to my ear. I told him I loved you too daddy and he left.

 

I've never talked to daddy like this before and I was so surprised and thankful that it was daddy who listened to me during this hard time. Its so nice when he finally said the words "I love you honey":love::love: I can feel that he said it with passion and meant it.

 

Thank you for reading and I hope that you'll will treasure your daddy as well!!:)

[anika99]

What a sweet story. Thank you for sharing it with us. It's so touching that your dad was so sweet and gentle with you and so good at listening to you open up. Some men are very stoic and they think their family should know they love them just by what they do, as in working hard and paying the bills, but kids also need to hear their dad say the words. I'm so happy that your dad was able to emotionally connect with you. It sounds like he loves you very much and you sound like you love him just as much.

[Heer]

Thanks Anika:):) It's so weird because daddy used to be quite reserved. I mean I knew he loved me but he just doesn't say it. I have always wanted to be "daddy's girl" but he seems very reserved. There were times when I thought he was strict but makes it up to me everytime and I love him again.

 

Its just amazing that daddy and I never "really bonded" as in just the both of us. He's much more supportive after I moved out and i think its because he misses me. Honestly I miss him as well but I hope that it doesn't take me moving away to make him miss me. Nevertheless, mom is also very happy and surprised because we almost never bond. I just feel very happy that daddy is closer to me nowadays. I didn't know he could be touching and sweet...It felt just like a loving daddy that i imagined. Such a new experience...:)

[SincereOnlineGuy]

That really IS a sweet story, BUT it might not have as much to do with your father as you think.

 

 

What you are supposed to have gained from that story is the importance of outwardly expressing yourself, particularly when things are looking down.

 

 

It relieves the pressure... and that pressure can do more damage to you than any guy, or most anything else you can predict, ever could.

 

 

Those many years of relative silence only suggest that your father was reading (reading YOU) all the while, and enough to notice when something wasn't ideal.

 

 

While I am sure HE was quite moved by the whole, entire experience, he may never make it clear just how much so...

 

 

 

Somewhere in there, too, is the emotion and trust which you will eventually be able to share with a love.

 

So give yourself a lot of that credit... for daring to show your vulnerability... and daring to trust while you let-out the hurtful feelings.

[truthtripper]

Hi everyone I have a personal story I feel I need to share. This literally just happened and I want to document and share this amazing story.

 

I'm a 20 year old girl and I just got out of a relationship. You can see the thread here http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/dating/cheating-flirting-jealousy/530880-bf-jealous-my-best-guy-friend-i

 

My father is a very nice but slightly introverted man. He rarely shows happiness and sadness in front of me and he is, in my opinion, scared of affection from me (his daughter). He's the best father but since he works long hours I rarely see him in the normal weekday. I understands he supports the family monetarily but I sometimes feel that he doesn't love me. Every time I kiss him on the cheek and hug him he tenses up and doesn't seems to be scared of me. However, over the years I've known to appreciate him even though he's kind of "backstage".

 

Basically its Thanksgiving up here in Canada and after having an amazing time with my family this couple of days my father drove me back to dorm where I attend university. I have not told my family about my breakup but during one of the awkward silences when it was just me and daddy in the car he suddenly confessed to me that he was very happy that I have studied so hard all these years and got into university. I was very shocked that he would suddenly say that. I cannot remember the last time daddy and I were alone and had a frank conversation one on one. I told him that I couldn't have done it without him and his support:love::love:. I told him that I know he works long hours and each time I see him he is very tired and I feel very bad. It must be hard being a daddy and supporting the family. He then told me that he feels that there is something bothering me because I'm usually different when I was happy. I told him it must be classes and all the pressure from school. He then parked the car and walked me to my room. Just as I thought he was going to leave he turned around, looked at me in the eye with a caring face and said Are you absolutely sure? I started to look down and my eyes watered. I spilled everything to him. He sat on my bed and I told him about my relationship failure and how sometimes I cry myself to sleep.

 

While I was telling him about the relationship I sobbed on his lap and he stroked my head like a daddy would. He said that he understands that sometimes life is hard but its important to speak to family when I was sad. Time flied by and we talked for 2 hours before mum rang and my dad told her he was with me. We talked so much and by the end of the night I wet his sweatshirt and pants from my tears but I felt renewed:):). I kissed him goodnight and he actually hugged me and whispered that he loved me honey to my ear. I told him I loved you too daddy and he left.

 

I've never talked to daddy like this before and I was so surprised and thankful that it was daddy who listened to me during this hard time. Its so nice when he finally said the words "I love you honey":love::love: I can feel that he said it with passion and meant it.

 

Thank you for reading and I hope that you'll will treasure your daddy as well!!:)

This is an extraordinary story, Heer. Just be aware of the types of guys you are attracted to, since we humans are naturally attracted to what is familiar to us whether we like it or not ie: observe if your next potential boyfriend is exhibiting your father's coldness/tension etc which you grew up with and is so familiar to you.

[truthtripper]

I forgot to add, your dad reminds me of my Dutch dad. Apparently the particular traits you describe are common amongst Dutch men.

Edited October 23, 2015 by truthtripper

[Heer]

That really IS a sweet story, BUT it might not have as much to do with your father as you think.

 

 

What you are supposed to have gained from that story is the importance of outwardly expressing yourself, particularly when things are looking down.

 

 

It relieves the pressure... and that pressure can do more damage to you than any guy, or most anything else you can predict, ever could.

 

 

Those many years of relative silence only suggest that your father was reading (reading YOU) all the while, and enough to notice when something wasn't ideal.

 

 

While I am sure HE was quite moved by the whole, entire experience, he may never make it clear just how much so...

 

 

 

Somewhere in there, too, is the emotion and trust which you will eventually be able to share with a love.

 

So give yourself a lot of that credit... for daring to show your vulnerability... and daring to trust while you let-out the hurtful feelings.

 

Awww....Thanks:) Its just that daddy and I were never "close", both physically and mentally. He was always at work so he couldn't come for my cheerleading practices and sometimes even birthdays:(:( When he was here he wasn't "here". He had other things in mind like work and other stuff. I understood that he had a lot on his plate because he works hard and had to take care of his mum (my grandma) and his dad (my grandpa) as well. If he wasn't at work he was with us, but it still wasn't a lot of time. For a while I was mad but when I saw his tired face, it really broke my heart:(

 

My mum says that daddy is very busy and hard working and loves me and I do believe her, but he rarely shows anything. He rarely kissed me goodnight and I only hear him coming home at 1am most of the week. I feel like one of those girls that has "daddy issues" but I really don't want to.

 

One of the more memorable, moments is when my mum went to NYC for 2 weeks to visit her side of the family and daddy and I were left alone. He insisted on doing the housework but I couldn't make him work anymore for me. I literally took care of him for 2 weeks by washing clothes and cooking. It was then I found out I knew nothing about him. I didn't know what his favourite food was, I didn't know what time he came home, I didn't even know that he loved his eggs scrambled.:( During the last breakup with my exbf I would've never thought daddy was the one who would give me the crying shoulder. Even mum is happy that we finally had time together. Are there any fathers here? What do they want from their daughter?

[SincereOnlineGuy]

Are there any fathers here? What do they want from their daughter?

 

 

 

I am not a father, but it dawned on me some time ago that the best thing you can GIVE to your parents is to let them see you succeed.

 

So your father merely knowing you were a cheerleader (with all of the seeming social bliss which the rest of us perceive to go with that)... and knowing you had college aspirations, and the boldness to move away to school to pursue them... are the stepping stones toward being everything your father ever wants or needs you to be.

 

 

There will be some pause at the point where you select a now-random life mate... where your father ponders: "wow, this new person has two feet... and eight fingers... and two thumbs...(or whatever)" --- before reasoning to himself: "it was always gonna be some individual somewhere(as opposed to the wide realm of possibilities he used to envision)... so I'll just believe in my daughter's selection process... because I did the best I could to help give her all I wanted her to have".

 

 

Then, (after a few holiday gatherings - some perhaps memorable)... your father will become used to the new mate of yours... and upon so doing, your father will make that mate's successes important to (your father) just as your father made your ultimate success and happiness important to him long ago.

 

That's it... just go out there and pursue what youuuuuuuuuu want... your father will be enjoyably invested the whole while.

 

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[Heer]

Thank you for your opinion sincereonlineguy. I guess deep down I've always wanted daddy's approval and this time "I got it" and it made me feel good. I called him a few days ago (something I rarely do) and I told daddy that I really appreciated him and I will do my best in school and life. He told me that he loved me too and wishes me the best and he said that if any guys bother me to call him:love::love:

 

 

 

PS: I LOVE your user name Sincereonlineguy:love::lmao: It really makes you a sincerely sincere online guy:laugh:

[GunslingerRoland]

You've got to remember that not everybody has the same personality. Your dad clearly isn't the touchy feely type, or the emotional type at all... so this should mean even more to you, and you shouldn't have any doubts that he loves you.