oblivion123 Posted October 17, 2015 Share Posted October 17, 2015 Hi everyone. I am new here and would like to ask some advice as I am so confuse and feel so guilty right now. I am in a long distance relationship for 2 years but we just met last August 2015 and got pregnant and just went for a post abortion trauma and still recovering. I went out last night with my new colleague at work and had drinks and I got drunk but still know what Im doing. We went out just the two of us just to spend time after work and while when were in the car him driving we talked a lot of things like about his experiences about dating women here in my place and by the way his new in this place and no friends yet. He's the one who opened the topic about sex which is just a normal topic and I opened also topic about One Night Stand , where he admit he's not a big fan of that especially having sex with someone you dont love which I also agreed and he havent had sex for almost 8months now after his gf left him. While talking comfortably he started touching my legs which I told him not do it and I didnt notice the time its almost 2am and I couldnt go inside my apartment since every 12am the gate is close already and I dont have the Key so we just decided to checked-in in a hotel near my place. I'm drunk already and feel so tired. While we're laying down next to each other, he started touching me and kissing me from behind but I tried to tell and push him to not to do it. But out of my control we had sex and now I feel terribly guilty from what happened cos I cheated my Bf and I feel like resigning from my work and look for another place to live cos I really dont like this. I feel like im dying inside. I couldnt concentrate at work and I jsut texted my Bf and just saying Sorry and please take me away far from here, I need you. -- He have not reply yet. Please help me what to do? Link to post Share on other sites
starpower Posted October 17, 2015 Share Posted October 17, 2015 (edited) So have you told your boyfriend that you cheated on him? It does sound like this just happened, I understand you couldn't go back to your apartment and had to get a hotel room. But why was he in there? I guess it doesn't mater now. The right thing to do is tell your boyfriend. Edited October 17, 2015 by starpower Link to post Share on other sites
Author oblivion123 Posted October 17, 2015 Author Share Posted October 17, 2015 Yes I told my boyfriend but I told him i was really drunk and he really wants to know whos that guy as he wants it to be punished. I felt so guilty and so disgusted with myself. This is the first time that happened in my life. I feel like why I need to go through with a lot of problems in my life and this is already too much. I have not recovered from the abortion yet and now this happened. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted October 17, 2015 Share Posted October 17, 2015 Yes, you cheated. If your promised your BF that you & he were exclusive then what you did with this other man was cheating. Going forward once the topic of sex comes up, you draw clear boundaries: I have a BF. Your story also lacks credibility. Why don't you have a key to get into the gate in your own apartment? Why isn't there somebody you can call? Even if you had to go to a motel, there was absolutely no reason your colleague had to go with you. I'm sorry about the emotional turmoil you must be in as a result of the difficult decision you needed to make. However, I would be cautious about any BF who thinks he needs the name of the guy you cheated with so he can "punish" that person. It's not the guy's fault you cheated. Link to post Share on other sites
Popsicle Posted October 17, 2015 Share Posted October 17, 2015 Poor girl. This whole situation is horrible. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
CarrieT Posted October 17, 2015 Share Posted October 17, 2015 You are locked out of your apartment and go to a hotel? It doesn't dawn on you to call your boyfriend or someone else to sleep it off? Yeah, you cheated and big time and were you my girlfriend, I would break up eith you. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted October 17, 2015 Share Posted October 17, 2015 OP, can you clarify: you said you had sex "out of my control" - what does this mean, exactly? Do you feel you were raped? If so, you need to file a police report. Is this why your boyfriend wants to punish the man? If the sex was consensual, then yes, you cheated and you will probably lose your boyfriend. Also, why do you not have a key for the gate to your apartment? Link to post Share on other sites
Spectre Posted October 17, 2015 Share Posted October 17, 2015 (edited) So you have a boyfriend and banged another man behind his back for some silly reasons and then you come and ask if you are a cheater? Seriously? If this isn't a troll post...what about your situation told you that maybe you are NOT a cheater? Unless it was rape, but from the way you worded it "out of my control" doesn't sound like you were raped, but that you were drunk and felt you got caught up in the moment and it was out of your control to stop..am I right? Since again if it WAS rape I am confused as to your confusion about if it was cheating. Edited October 17, 2015 by Spectre Link to post Share on other sites
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