Was he flirting with me?

[lovegroove]

So yesterday I went to the health club where this friend of mine [who I am majorly attracted to] works. I did a little cardio and then went to the gym to shoot hoops.

 

I hadn't been in there more than 5 minutes when he came in and says "There you are. I've been waiting for you to come in all week." He stood there talking to me while I shot and helped chase the ball down. Then he asked if I was going to take a cycling class that day (which he sometimes takes and sometimes teaches). I replied that I wish I could but my sister, who was watching my daughters, was expecting me back in a bit. He kept saying "Oh come on, it's a lot of fun and it's a good workout. You have your cell with you, don't you? Call your sister and tell her you'll be here late." Very reluctantly I said that I couldn't.

 

After about 20 minutes he said he had to get back to work. He started to walk away, then came back and asked if there was anything I'd like him to show me in the weight room (heh heh). I said yes and we headed for the weight room. When we were almost there he asked if I'd seen the cycling class room (which I hadn't), so he unlocked it and flipped the switch - it was really dim in there and we kept talking about the classes. Then he walks all the way to the back of the room to show me something that would help make the class easier. So now we're alone in this room that has no windows, is dimly lit, and he just keeps talking a mile a minute...think he might have been nervous? I know I was.

 

Then we went to the weight room and he showed me how to work different muscle areas. Finally I really did have to leave. He walked me upstairs and gave me a flyer with the cycling class times and kept sort of hounding me to take the class last night. He smiles and is like "You don't want to go home, do you?" to which I replied "No, but I really have to."

 

 

So what would you make of all this? Does it sound like there's a mutual attraction here? We've been friends for a while, and I've been attracted to him for about a year now. I've never had the impression before that he didn't want me to leave, but it seemed glaringly obvious yesterday.

 

What do you think? Should I go for it?

[Artscrafter]

Generally speaking, yes or no questions tend to take three forms.

"Do you want to go home?" - Neutral form. Not expecting either response in particular.

"Don't you want to go home?" - Expecting or hoping for a yes response.

"You don't want to go home, do you?" - Expecting or hoping for a no response.

 

So he's asking the question hoping that you don't want to leave... Yeah, I'd say he's definitely interested. Try asking him out - sounds to me like he'd have done it first but nerves got in the way.

[cobrules]

as a guy yes he is because he is seeing you as being a attractive person so he wants you to stick around for as long as possible , if i was alone with a girl i like for her to stay with me for as long as possible so that i can see if she likes me.

[lovegroove]

Thanks for the input, Artscrafter and cobrules. I'm glad my thinking was correct on this one

 

Even though I'm in my mid 20s I feel like a high school girl inside when I'm around him. My heart pounds and I feel all tingly, and every part of my body feels out of proportion. I'm not even sure if I'm sending him any signals so obvious - let's just say I'm pretty rusty in the flirting department.

 

What are some subtle but effective things I can do to let him know the feeling is mutual? I would like to ease into this if I can since the last relationship I had was not so great overall (mind games, mental abuse for starters). Any ideas?

[haywood]

next time he asks you if you wanna take his class, say no, then just ask him if he'd like to hang out after or something. (this is where you give him your number) now, if he doesn't call, then it's obvious he wasn't interested. trust me, he'll call. good luck

[Artscrafter]

What are some subtle but effective things I can do to let him know the feeling is mutual?

Erm. You have to remember that with most guys, myself included, "subtle but effective" signals are a direct contradiction. Guys don't pick up on subtlety. Sometimes we seem to get it right, but that's those lucky moments when the signal you're giving us is the same as what we want to be there. Haywood's got the right idea. If he doesn't ask you out, ask him out.

[lovegroove]

I guess I'm just not to the point yet where I have enough nerve to ask him out. Every other time I've asked out someone I was attracted to (and this is no joke) they turned me down.

 

I guess I meant to say how can I let him know the feeling is mutual without coming on too strong (what is too strong, anyway?) or sounding cheesy (Are you tired, because you've been running through my mind all day? LOL)? Is that even possible?

[scarlyjones]

I dunno.......................from that story, he seems kinda pushy. Like he is used to getting his way. I guess that could be a turn-on at first, but, later it could really get old.

[lovegroove]

Originally posted by scarlyjones

I dunno.......................from that story, he seems kinda pushy. Like he is used to getting his way. I guess that could be a turn-on at first, but, later it could really get old.

 

He really isn't - honest! I've known him for more than a year and a half and he's usually pretty quiet around me, especially when there are other people around. When it's just he and I we get along great and can talk for hours about stuff. It's just never progressed past that stage and I've not really had much of an impression that the attraction was mutual until last week.

[lovegroove]

Whoops, just realized I made somewhat of a contradiction in my last post

 

What I meant to say was that he's pretty quiet around me when there are other people around (especially his family), but when he and I are hanging out alone he's much more open and talkative -- but never pushy in either situation.