Targetlock Posted October 17, 2015 Share Posted October 17, 2015 hi all After my recent failure, I haven't gone back to online dating now in just over a month and to be honest i think it might have been stick that broke the camels back. just cant be bothered to go through the same nonsense and failures again. So that means i don't know where to turn or where to look, luckily on monday I'm starting a new job in a larger town, an apprenticeship at the local county offices so that might open up some options. Link to post Share on other sites
Frank2thepoint Posted October 18, 2015 Share Posted October 18, 2015 Take a long break from online dating. Try meeting women in real life. It'll boost your confidence tremendously. Link to post Share on other sites
Michelle ma Belle Posted October 18, 2015 Share Posted October 18, 2015 Call me crazy but considering the countless threads on here of members all bellyaching about the same issues regarding OLD (myself included), LS would be remiss not to take advantage of a great opportunity staring them in the face Link to post Share on other sites
lino Posted October 18, 2015 Share Posted October 18, 2015 Doesn't seem to me like online dating is a good option for men. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Targetlock Posted October 18, 2015 Author Share Posted October 18, 2015 Take a long break from online dating. Try meeting women in real life. It'll boost your confidence tremendously. yeah very true, i just needed a good grumble thats all. been a rough year to be honest with losing my job near the start of the year, unemployed for several months, part time work and now finally back to full time work this monday. just sucks in over a year of being single and trying to do something about it, nothing has really happened. Link to post Share on other sites
Jkerr3 Posted October 18, 2015 Share Posted October 18, 2015 Take a long break from online dating. Try meeting women in real life. It'll boost your confidence tremendously. I've been trying this myself, after getting denied several times in a row my confidence has actually taken a bit of a dip.... Link to post Share on other sites
Author Targetlock Posted October 18, 2015 Author Share Posted October 18, 2015 yeah it really can drain your confidence can't it, and my confidence can be fairly frail at times anyway. Link to post Share on other sites
JuneJulySeptember Posted October 18, 2015 Share Posted October 18, 2015 A speed bump? Don't feel bad. This was online dating for me... http://www.pxleyes.com/images/contests/nature-vs-human-3/fullsize/Road-blocked-513ccb52de983_hires.jpg 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Frank2thepoint Posted October 19, 2015 Share Posted October 19, 2015 Doesn't seem to me like online dating is a good option for men. Unless the man is very attractive, then no. Odds are against less than gorgeous men. A man can improve his chances by having a good and direct profile, and aiming for women that fit his desire. Such as if you are looking for a relationship, only message like-minded women. Not just any good-looking chick, with two sentences in her profile. yeah very true, i just needed a good grumble thats all. been a rough year to be honest with losing my job near the start of the year, unemployed for several months, part time work and now finally back to full time work this monday. just sucks in over a year of being single and trying to do something about it, nothing has really happened. I've been trying this myself, after getting denied several times in a row my confidence has actually taken a bit of a dip.... You guys are viewing a woman as a means to fix something, or add value to your life. That's not the right mindset. You have to be comfortable and happy being single. You should seek out a woman because you want to share yourself. If you don't get a date, it shouldn't depress you or affect your confidence. I understand dating can be frustrating. Believe me, getting a date or a girlfriend is the least of your worries. Getting a quality woman is the biggest challenge. And a quality woman wants a quality man. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Targetlock Posted October 22, 2015 Author Share Posted October 22, 2015 yeah that is true. i guess its because I'm 30 next year and I look at my life and I'm tired of being single and alone and waiting for things to happen that I hoped and expected would have happened by now. i know its silly but most of the time I feel like there is something or someone missing in my life and I've yet to meet them or for it to happen. I guess I just got to focus on me I guess and the rest of of my life and see what happens and where this crazy rollercoaster that is life will take me. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
LostOne1 Posted October 24, 2015 Share Posted October 24, 2015 yeah that is true. i guess its because I'm 30 next year and I look at my life and I'm tired of being single and alone and waiting for things to happen that I hoped and expected would have happened by now. i know its silly but most of the time I feel like there is something or someone missing in my life and I've yet to meet them or for it to happen. I guess I just got to focus on me I guess and the rest of of my life and see what happens and where this crazy rollercoaster that is life will take me. man.. I feel the SAME way.. EXACT same way. Everyone tells me things happen when you least expect it. And, I will hold true to that quote and comment. I come home I get this lonely feeling like something is missing or I'm just not happy. It makes no sense... I have a great job, great friends, good career, hit the gym 4 times a week. And yet.. I still feel empty inside. I guess coming home you have no one to vent to about your day. It's just you... there. For me it's work, gym, home, eat, sleep... repeat! At one point I thought.. why live any longer if you feel this empty. Why not off myself some how? But something kicked in a few weeks ago. I thought, someone else out there would do anything to have my life. But, they are stuck some where and never will have a good education or career. So for them it would be as if they won the lottery. And, it got me thinking... why not do things to help others? Why not promote love, caring, helping the needy. In the end it makes my life useful now and suddenly I have a purpose. I have to survive to put a smile on others faces. Maybe take a backpacking trip to a 3rd world country or village that needs help for a week or 2. So yeah... I don't have a date, I'm single and it sucks coming home and feeling old and empty. But, I feel on this new journey of giving back to others. I think it will pay off some how, hard work and true intentions always pay off. Maybe some where along the road somehow I will meet someone too. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Targetlock Posted October 25, 2015 Author Share Posted October 25, 2015 Its probably one of the reasons why I'm a care worker, that way I know I'm doing something worthwhile with my life. though at the end of the day you've got to live you're life for you, its you're life you choose how to live it. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
LostOne1 Posted October 25, 2015 Share Posted October 25, 2015 Its probably one of the reasons why I'm a care worker, that way I know I'm doing something worthwhile with my life. though at the end of the day you've got to live you're life for you, its you're life you choose how to live it. True... but if it brings you happiness to make others happy... then in some sense you're living for yourself. If I can leave this world one day and before I do look back and know I made someone's life better some how.... I think I could die peacefully. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Targetlock Posted October 26, 2015 Author Share Posted October 26, 2015 its good to think you can look at your life and know you've made a positive effect on people who've known you or your actions in your life, if you see what i mean. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
boltam Posted October 26, 2015 Share Posted October 26, 2015 Anytime I see these types of threads, the ones disparaging online dating I feel compelled to respond. I'm a decent looking guy in my early 50s, I've been online dating since 2006 and I've had dozens of first dates, a few short term things that fizzled and a half a dozen long term relationships of 1.5 years or more, and I'm living with my girlfriend of 4 years, things are great; we met on OK Cupid. Nothing special about me at all, and OLD worked out just fine. If it's not working for you, you're doing it wrong. Link to post Share on other sites
impatiently_patient Posted October 26, 2015 Share Posted October 26, 2015 Anytime I see these types of threads, the ones disparaging online dating I feel compelled to respond. I'm a decent looking guy in my early 50s, I've been online dating since 2006 and I've had dozens of first dates, a few short term things that fizzled and a half a dozen long term relationships of 1.5 years or more, and I'm living with my girlfriend of 4 years, things are great; we met on OK Cupid. Nothing special about me at all, and OLD worked out just fine. If it's not working for you, you're doing it wrong. ^ Way different age & generational demo there, bub... both online and off. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Targetlock Posted October 27, 2015 Author Share Posted October 27, 2015 Also that is a very long period in trying before he met his girlfriend. yeah maybe I am doing something wrong in my online dating method, i must be but what? I got ok pictures (I don't look that great but I don't look that bad either, i just work with what I've got) ok profile and i regularly message people i like the look of with hopefully interesting messages discussing something i liked in their profile to try and spark a conversation. Link to post Share on other sites
boltam Posted October 27, 2015 Share Posted October 27, 2015 Also that is a very long period in trying before he met his girlfriend. It's not like there was any huge dry spells. I always had something going on whether it was chatting, meeting, short term things that fizzled or longer term relationships that eventually failed. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Targetlock Posted October 30, 2015 Author Share Posted October 30, 2015 It's not like there was any huge dry spells. I always had something going on whether it was chatting, meeting, short term things that fizzled or longer term relationships that eventually failed. fair enough. never seem to be able to get even a date or a girl noticing me these days. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Targetlock Posted November 1, 2015 Author Share Posted November 1, 2015 Actively trying again with the online dating, thought i may as well give it another shot. Link to post Share on other sites
Teraskas Posted November 1, 2015 Share Posted November 1, 2015 Anytime I see these types of threads, the ones disparaging online dating I feel compelled to respond. I'm a decent looking guy in my early 50s, I've been online dating since 2006 and I've had dozens of first dates, a few short term things that fizzled and a half a dozen long term relationships of 1.5 years or more, and I'm living with my girlfriend of 4 years, things are great; we met on OK Cupid. Nothing special about me at all, and OLD worked out just fine. If it's not working for you, you're doing it wrong. I find it amusing that these days individuals in society are so quick to shift the blame to the user should the tool perform insufficiently. You forget that we're talking about 2 different demographics and age ranges which couldn't be farther apart. Link to post Share on other sites
lino Posted November 2, 2015 Share Posted November 2, 2015 (edited) Haven't you caught on yet? If you're a male that can't get a date or a relationship, it's ALL your fault. No ifs or buts! You also deserve to get constantly Sh*tted on because of it. Don't dare complain about it either... Man up! Edited November 2, 2015 by lino Added more. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Targetlock Posted November 2, 2015 Author Share Posted November 2, 2015 that a joke? because honestly i do blame myself for my situation and take it out on myself a lot. Link to post Share on other sites
lino Posted November 3, 2015 Share Posted November 3, 2015 It is indeed a joke mate. I'm taking the pi$s out of the horribly one sided advice frequently flung on this board that blames everything on men when they struggle but women who complain about dating on here get a very different slant to the responses. I've read your topics for a while here and always hoped you succeed because it's clear you are a great guy with a good heart Only blame yourself if you see it is reasonable and if it's constructive and will help you. I'd take it easy with the online dating as it seems horribly one sided from what I read on here. Have not tried it myself. Do keep trying though if you feel that Avenue suits you best. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Targetlock Posted November 3, 2015 Author Share Posted November 3, 2015 Thats good, I often have trouble picking up on sarcasm when its written sometimes thats all. I rarely mention it on here but I do have a mild learning disability which does effect my life, especially the social and dating side. I keep trying with the online dating as my social life is fairly quiet most of the time and gives me a chance of talking to people I wouldn't have otherwise have found. but yeah it is a slim chance it seems. Link to post Share on other sites
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