"You never forget your first love": What does this mean to you?

[loverage21]

It's a feeling you have never previous experienced, that's why it's so special. Special at the time, but depending on how it ended, you may not always have wholly great memories of it.

 

I'll never forget my first love and it didn't end badly either. In fact just writing this, I know that we would have ended up getting married if I wanted, as he was so in love with me.

 

Oh well...that was many years ago and I get a little sentimental thinking about it.

 

What about other guys you have been with afterwards? Do they not hold as much sentimental weight?

[SoThatHappened]

Quit worrying about a girl you weren't even in love with (and who wasn't in love with you) and move on.

 

You can ask every question in the world about first loves and they are all going to be somewhat different. Why? Because people are different.

 

Some are sentimental and will always have a special place in their heart for their first love. Some are simply relieved it didn't work out with them and they really don't think about them anymore.

 

To answer your question from my life, I'll always love my first. I was 16, she was 15, and we were together on and off until I was 33 and her 31. I'll always love her, no matter what.

 

But, my point is, don't waste time and effort wondering about a first live (and wasting time) while you (as you stated) weren't even in love.

[loverage21]

Quit worrying about a girl you weren't even in love with (and who wasn't in love with you) and move on.

 

You can ask every question in the world about first loves and they are all going to be somewhat different. Why? Because people are different.

 

Some are sentimental and will always have a special place in their heart for their first love. Some are simply relieved it didn't work out with them and they really don't think about them anymore.

 

To answer your question from my life, I'll always love my first. I was 16, she was 15, and we were together on and off until I was 33 and her 31. I'll always love her, no matter what.

 

But, my point is, don't waste time and effort wondering about a first live (and wasting time) while you (as you stated) weren't even in love.

 

You know why? Because this does not just apply to one girl. This applies to myself and the any girl I am with from here on now.

 

There is something about first love that is so powerful. I feel at my age now (age 21) I will never be able to be a girl's first love. And let's say I meet a girl and we hit things off. Let's say a girl becomes my first love and I am not hers. Her impact on my heart will not be the same as mine on hers if we break up. What a ****ty feeling right?

 

And even if I did make a big impression on a girl's heart, it is conditional. Meaning I have to work extra harder, while that first guy will have that special place no matter what.

 

So if you are wondering why I am worried about it. There you go.

[loverage21]

Basically, in summary, the philosophy is this...

 

If you never had a first love before, NEVER give your heart to a girl who has. Because if things don't work out, she takes a bigger piece of your heart than what you get from her.

 

Meaning while she was your first, you are a subsequent to her.

[Qboro90]

I don't get it. If you have loved more than one person in your life don't you never forget all of them? Of course I never really had a first love.

 

What does this mean to you?

 

I think 8 threads asking the same question is obsessive man. What answer are you looking to get?

[KatZee]

To me it just means, "You never forget your 'first'." It doesn't even have to be a love. It could be a "first" anything. Firsts always impact you harder than subsequent times.

 

I remember the first time I encountered snow. I was probably 2 or 3. But my parents brought me outside all bundled up. I had no idea what this white stuff was, but I put my hand down, and a clump of it got wedged on the inside of my glove on my wrist. Everyone knows the wrist is very sensitive to temperatures, so I started wailing like I was going to die.

 

My first "love" if I can even call it that, who even knows if it was love, had an impact on me too. It was the first time I actually cared about someone on a very deep level. He was my first sexual encounter, my first experience in fighting with a partner, my first breakup.

 

I will never forget the pain I felt with all of that. But what I will always remember is the emotions I felt, not necessarily my ex himself.

 

In fact, I recently spoke to him, and the person he is now, isn't the person I knew all those years ago. He changed dramatically, and not in a good way. So what I remember, is just in my own head. They're my own memories, and emotions, and experiences.

 

But firsts are always what you compare everything else too. I frankly remember nothing about the boyfriend after him, or the boyfriend after that. Even with my last boyfriend, I was with him for 3 years, and to be honest, I barely remember anything about him as well.

 

But with my first, if I concentrate hard enough, I can remember those feelings, and those emotions.

[loverage21]

To me it just means, "You never forget your 'first'." It doesn't even have to be a love. It could be a "first" anything. Firsts always impact you harder than subsequent times.

 

I remember the first time I encountered snow. I was probably 2 or 3. But my parents brought me outside all bundled up. I had no idea what this white stuff was, but I put my hand down, and a clump of it got wedged on the inside of my glove on my wrist. Everyone knows the wrist is very sensitive to temperatures, so I started wailing like I was going to die.

 

My first "love" if I can even call it that, who even knows if it was love, had an impact on me too. It was the first time I actually cared about someone on a very deep level. He was my first sexual encounter, my first experience in fighting with a partner, my first breakup.

 

I will never forget the pain I felt with all of that. But what I will always remember is the emotions I felt, not necessarily my ex himself.

 

In fact, I recently spoke to him, and the person he is now, isn't the person I knew all those years ago. He changed dramatically, and not in a good way. So what I remember, is just in my own head. They're my own memories, and emotions, and experiences.

 

But firsts are always what you compare everything else too. I frankly remember nothing about the boyfriend after him, or the boyfriend after that. Even with my last boyfriend, I was with him for 3 years, and to be honest, I barely remember anything about him as well.

 

But with my first, if I concentrate hard enough, I can remember those feelings, and those emotions.

 

 

^^^^ So this, everyone, is what I am talking about. This sucks bad.

 

This part specifically:

 

But firsts are always what you compare everything else too. I frankly remember nothing about the boyfriend after him, or the boyfriend after that. Even with my last boyfriend, I was with him for 3 years, and to be honest, I barely remember anything about him as well.

 

^^^Thats the worst part

Edited October 25, 2015 by loverage21

[todreaminblue]

You know what....i feel for you......i feel for you because i dont know why this is so imprinted on you or what you have listened to or been told or learned that makes you feel the way you do......i feel for you because you cant eb swayed and the more people agree with you....the more i feel you are feeding your depression...for that reason alone......i would not agree with you....

 

what really matters...is not what everyone else feels ...but what you feel....and what you feel ...is tainted by depression and thoughts of your life being useless.....

 

i remember two male friends of mine bought this girl to see me.....they bought her to me because they were tired of trying to talk to her...she wouldnt listen.....so they thought of me.....i talked to that teen girl for six hours...on why her life was meaning less...in point.....she talked about how her life was meaningless how she had been raped by her uncle how her mother was an addict her father unknown i listened.....for eight hours.......from ten at night till about six in the morning.....her whole life story.......it was an extremely sad story......now all i did was hold her than when she cried and smiled encouragement as she tried to find the words to say......and i would try to interject some hope where i could in between her breaths for air but mostly i just listened and sat there dumbfounded and hurting stupid.trying to grasp how she had learned what she had......like i do on here sometimes.....

 

all i could really do was pray to god i didnt say anything wrong...anything more wrong that what had happened to her.....she hugged me when she finished and left....she came back the next day i was sleeping and she left card and some flowers for me ...the card read thanks for listening.....among other compliments i dont feel comfortable saying....

 

the male friends i had bought me a video they know i loved second hand to thank me.....it was patch adams...they made jokes about how did i sit there for that long

 

 

she ended up dying......i never saw her again.....she overdosed...and i felt guilt..... i didnt do enough.....that i thought at one stage i am so tired

 

 

now you can fantasize about first loves being something you never forget or you can remember someone you touched who truly meant something to you i prefer to remember and hold close to me ....defining moments not involving sex....because it helps me .....and it helps others who know me

 

 

 

...some people choose to glorify old relationships and first loves and forsake the chance of loving what stands in front of them....i have been guilty of this .......and for sure they have their place...but wht matters most...is the people you touch now...the people you hold now...the people you choose to listen to now....if you are worrying about yesterday....you miss the person who needs you and who you need today or tomorrow or the day after that...it truly matters what you do today...and every day you are given after that....first anythings serve their purpose...and then they are left where they should be....as you experience more....that is what matters....

 

 

dont you think your depression needs more help than what you are concentrating on..obsessing on..deb

[Buckeye7]

The first cut is the deepest. After recently having my heart broken I can confidently say that it will forever change the way I view relationships. I kind of feel bad for my future girlfriend because their is almost no way I will be totally over my ex

[antimanchild]

I'm two months post BU from my first real love. I can't even remember what it was like being with him, but I'll never forget how crushed I've been! I didn't know I could feel this strongly for someone, and I'm glad that I'm capable of it.

[loverage21]

I'm two months post BU from my first real love. I can't even remember what it was like being with him, but I'll never forget how crushed I've been! I didn't know I could feel this strongly for someone, and I'm glad that I'm capable of it.

 

Have you been able to feel a stronger connection to someone else?

[Meli22]

To me personally it means nothing. I haven't forgot who mine was, that's near impossible unless I suffer from some kind of memory loss. But at the same time I hold no sort of romantic feelings towards them either.

 

It's just a figure of speech, because as I said, it's impossible to forget anyone whom you had a romantic relationship with. Even the short lived ones.

 

Every situation is different and the first isn't necessarily the strongest connection. My second break up was actually a lot tougher than my first. It depends on the bond, the expectations, the reasons for the break up and a whole lot of other factors that determine how much something can stick with you. Not necessarily whether it was the first.

[loverage21]

To me personally it means nothing. I haven't forgot who mine was, that's near impossible unless I suffer from some kind of memory loss. But at the same time I hold no sort of romantic feelings towards them either.

 

It's just a figure of speech, because as I said, it's impossible to forget anyone whom you had a romantic relationship with. Even the short lived ones.

 

Every situation is different and the first isn't necessarily the strongest connection. My second break up was actually a lot tougher than my first. It depends on the bond, the expectations, the reasons for the break up and a whole lot of other factors that determine how much something can stick with you. Not necessarily whether it was the first.

 

For a girl who has been in a relationship her first 2 years of high school and HE broke up with her, do you think she will ever love so powerfully again? Do you think in that situation (if this was you) that she will always have feelings for him?

[Silver_star]

I think it has been mentioned, but I'd like to weigh in with my two cents anyways.

 

 

I think the "never forget your first love" sentiment has less to do with the person you fall in love with and more on remembering the emotions that happened inside of you for the first time. A new wonderful feeling, and that is worth remembering.

 

My first love was not a great guy (in hindsight), but I loved that feeling of being in love, and it was scary. I remember I drew a heart in the snow when I was with him before I said I love you and we looked at each other and smiled. I wanted to say it, and it wasn't long after that we did say it. It was like magic inside me in those moments. Sounds cheesy, but those are the feelings you have that are not replaceable. I will never forget the way I felt when I was falling in love for the first time. That guy and I did not work out, and I am glad because we were not really compatible long term.

 

Years later I fell in love again with a different guy, and I would say I fell in love on a deeper level and even felt new things in a more mature way, but the feeling of being in love (although wonderful and amazing) was not new to me.

[loverage21]

I think it has been mentioned, but I'd like to weigh in with my two cents anyways.

 

 

I think the "never forget your first love" sentiment has less to do with the person you fall in love with and more on remembering the emotions that happened inside of you for the first time. A new wonderful feeling, and that is worth remembering.

 

My first love was not a great guy (in hindsight), but I loved that feeling of being in love, and it was scary. I remember I drew a heart in the snow when I was with him before I said I love you and we looked at each other and smiled. I wanted to say it, and it wasn't long after that we did say it. It was like magic inside me in those moments. Sounds cheesy, but those are the feelings you have that are not replaceable. I will never forget the way I felt when I was falling in love for the first time. That guy and I did not work out, and I am glad because we were not really compatible long term.

 

Years later I fell in love again with a different guy, and I would say I fell in love on a deeper level and even felt new things in a more mature way, but the feeling of being in love (although wonderful and amazing) was not new to me.

 

Has love been less magical since then?

[mightycpa]

But firsts are always what you compare everything else too. I frankly remember nothing about the boyfriend after him, or the boyfriend after that. Even with my last boyfriend, I was with him for 3 years, and to be honest, I barely remember anything about him as well.

 

But with my first, if I concentrate hard enough, I can remember those feelings, and those emotions.

You do have a point, but I'd also offer that sometimes, you remember the first until something comes along that blows it away. Not everything is like chasing the dragon.

 

I've had a few firsts that were topped by things that came after. So yes, I always remember the first, but in those cases, my mind immediately jumps to the gold standard, and still, even in my memory, they don't compare.

 

First time I had sex comes to mind. Unforgettable, but ultimately, easily surpassed.

[loverage21]

You do have a point, but I'd also offer that sometimes, you remember the first until something comes along that blows it away. Not everything is like chasing the dragon.

 

I've had a few firsts that were topped by things that came after. So yes, I always remember the first, but in those cases, my mind immediately jumps to the gold standard, and still, even in my memory, they don't compare.

 

First time I had sex comes to mind. Unforgettable, but ultimately, easily surpassed.

 

What do you mean "she has a point"? The statement that you can forget everyone else but the first? Or the statement that you compare everyone to the first?

[carhill]

"You never forget your first love": What does this mean to you?

 

I used to think it meant everything until I forgot her and, generally, all which came after as well.

 

Back when the memories were significant, they formed up company in an otherwise solitary existence, and I guess provided some hope validating my existence in the world. More life took care of that stuff. Now they're like old photo albums except whoever cleans up when I'm gone won't have to throw them out. Heh.

[mightycpa]

What do you mean "she has a point"? The statement that you can forget everyone else but the first? Or the statement that you compare everyone to the first?

I mean that it is usually a milestone, a reference point. If you fall in love 5 times in your entire life (I think that's the upper range), there's not all that much to compare to, so it is probably natural that you compare. Your first breakup might be the thing that really sticks with you. A lot of times, your first time at something is a sentimental favorite, even if you've outdone that time afterwards.

 

First hole in one, first home run, first championship trophy. First love, first this, first that. Most of them are pretty sweet memories.

[loverage21]

I mean that it is usually a milestone, a reference point. If you fall in love 5 times in your entire life (I think that's the upper range), there's not all that much to compare to, so it is probably natural that you compare. Your first breakup might be the thing that really sticks with you. A lot of times, your first time at something is a sentimental favorite, even if you've outdone that time afterwards.

 

First hole in one, first home run, first championship trophy. First love, first this, first that. Most of them are pretty sweet memories.

 

That's where my quote comes in

 

"A first will always remain special because it is a first. That never will change. Although you can never guarentee to be a last."

 

And like one dude said, first love is the most naturally developed relationship. Which makes sense because you have nothing to compare it to, yet you fall madly for this person. Later relationships, you have a reference to fall back on. A security blanket or an escape route for someone to possibly return to in the future.

 

Oh, and did you say the first is the gold standard, or the next best thing is the gold standard?

Edited December 3, 2015 by loverage21

[mightycpa]

That's where my quote comes in

 

"A first will always remain special because it is a first. That never will change. Although you can never guarentee to be a last."

 

And like one dude said, first love is the most naturally developed relationship. Which makes sense because you have nothing to compare it to, yet you fall madly for this person. Later relationships, you have a reference to fall back on. A security blanket or an escape route for someone to possibly return to in the future.

 

Oh, and did you say the first is the gold standard, or the next best thing is the gold standard?

I don't quite see it that way, but that's ok. For example, every time I've fallen in love, that has been on its own terms. I don't compare notes, or one to the other, except for after it's over... like maybe during a period of self-reflection. All except for once, they all developed naturally, and frankly, when I'm out of love, I forget what it actually feels like to be in love, how intense and consuming it can be. I can't summon it. But the moment I'm in it, the last thing I'm thinking about is the ones before it. I live in the now.

 

The "gold standard" means the best. The first may be the best for a while, but it rarely stays in first place. When I wrote that, I was actually thinking of my first blowjob, and then I thought about my best one. The first one was pretty damn good, my heart started fluttering, and it was so great, just unbelievable; but only because I had nothing to compare it to. There was nothing like it. For years after that, they all felt reasonably similar, hard to distinguish one from the other, except the first one had the additional quality of novelty. Then, years later, I met this girl with a mouth made of warm liquid silk, and she became the gold standard. OMG! She was "head" and shoulders above the rest. Nothing like it, before or since her, but my mind always remembers the first one she gave me, when she took her rightful place at #1. So, when I think back, naturally I recall the first one ever. But that immediately makes me think of the best one, and the magic of the first time is gone, shoved aside by the power of the best.

 

So it is with love, for me anyway. My first love was consuming and deep and true and it hurt really bad to lose it. But I as much as I loved that one, I loved the last one more - much more. Like I said, it's difficult to remember what being in love felt like, but I remember the things I said and meant. I have no doubt that I fell a lot harder that last time than I did the first. So again, the first one, special, for sure. But when it was exceeded, it lost some of its luster.

 

I have no doubt that one day in the distant future, you'll think back and come around to my way of thinking. That is, if you're lucky. Otherwise, your best days will always be behind you, and that would be a real shame.

[EgoJoe]

My first love is a catalyst to me now; looking back I know it would never have worked even if all of the bad things had never happened. But, I'm typing this on my phone whilst my current love sleeps next to me. I love her more completely, freely and objectively than either of my previous romantic partners.

[loverage21]

I don't quite see it that way, but that's ok. For example, every time I've fallen in love, that has been on its own terms. I don't compare notes, or one to the other, except for after it's over... like maybe during a period of self-reflection. All except for once, they all developed naturally, and frankly, when I'm out of love, I forget what it actually feels like to be in love, how intense and consuming it can be. I can't summon it. But the moment I'm in it, the last thing I'm thinking about is the ones before it. I live in the now.

 

The "gold standard" means the best. The first may be the best for a while, but it rarely stays in first place. When I wrote that, I was actually thinking of my first blowjob, and then I thought about my best one. The first one was pretty damn good, my heart started fluttering, and it was so great, just unbelievable; but only because I had nothing to compare it to. There was nothing like it. For years after that, they all felt reasonably similar, hard to distinguish one from the other, except the first one had the additional quality of novelty. Then, years later, I met this girl with a mouth made of warm liquid silk, and she became the gold standard. OMG! She was "head" and shoulders above the rest. Nothing like it, before or since her, but my mind always remembers the first one she gave me, when she took her rightful place at #1. So, when I think back, naturally I recall the first one ever. But that immediately makes me think of the best one, and the magic of the first time is gone, shoved aside by the power of the best.

 

So it is with love, for me anyway. My first love was consuming and deep and true and it hurt really bad to lose it. But I as much as I loved that one, I loved the last one more - much more. Like I said, it's difficult to remember what being in love felt like, but I remember the things I said and meant. I have no doubt that I fell a lot harder that last time than I did the first. So again, the first one, special, for sure. But when it was exceeded, it lost some of its luster.

 

I have no doubt that one day in the distant future, you'll think back and come around to my way of thinking. That is, if you're lucky. Otherwise, your best days will always be behind you, and that would be a real shame.

 

I think with love after the first, there becomes more added expectations. Versus if you love as a teenager, it occurs during more simple times with the main expectations being

1. Is he or she cute

2. Does he or she like me back

 

And older relationships being like this

1. Is he or she cute

2. Does he or she like me back

3. Does he have a car

4. Does he have financial stability

5. Does he work

6. Can he or she be a good parent

....

 

 

So with young, first love relationships, it is more about the basis or the "foundation" of love

 

Versus with older relationships, you start adding in more external requirements.

 

 

And I see what you are saying. The first is special no matter what. The last love is most important, but you have to manage to be the last, which things in life always change unexpectedly so you never know. And being the best, that can change too with more experience.

 

I think the biggest thing of all, it REPRESENTS INNOCENCE. It occurred during a time of youth and being naive. And despite it ending poorly, you tend to forgive the negativity of it because it happened when both people were just kids.

Edited December 3, 2015 by loverage21

[Silver_star]

Has love been less magical since then?

 

No. It's just as magical. That's how I recognize it, but that's the thing. I recognize it now as the feeling of falling in love. It's not new. It's still an amazing and wonderful feeling.