Seeker45 Posted October 18, 2015 Share Posted October 18, 2015 Hi All, I am new here and need bit of advise as i am totally confused with this girl i am friends with. I met lady A through a friend 3 months ago and we get on great and we talk everyday etc. Recently when we have gone out for a walk she first starting linking arms with mine i didn't think of much. Then 3 days ago we out and we were walking i held her hand for more than 20 mins while we were walking and talking. Our hugs are not friendly hugs from what i have read on body languages our bodies are close and it is longer than minute or sometimes 2. We talk everyday on the phone, emails and text. When i was bit down she came over to visit me (surprise visit). Yesterday she invited me to her place and we talked and then went out for lunch. After lunch while we were talking i held her hand for 5 mins plus on the table and she allowed me. This is just a short brief history... A mutual friend yesterday was chatting to her and she meant that you are both perfect for each to her and she said He is a Fab friend and nothing more and i am lesbian and i can't help who i am. This is what i am confused about should i tell her how i feel even though i know she will tell me in a polite way NO or just give it more time for friendship to develop into something else? Ladies would you hold hands or care so much for someone as just a friend? I don't know how to take all this any advise would be great thanks. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted October 19, 2015 Share Posted October 19, 2015 Well, that is a conundrum. She doesn't mind holding hands and all but says she is a lesbian. Sadly, I guess that is a no. She must just be a touchy feely person. Since you're friends, you should just talk to her and ask her if she's dating women or what and just see if bringing it out in the open isn't a relief to you both. I wouldn't rely on what your friend said, though. I'd ask her. Just say, Hey I was talking to ___, and he said you're a lesbian. I had no idea!" And take it from there. It's always possible he's trying for her himself, and is just lying, so do tell her straight up he said that. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Seeker45 Posted October 20, 2015 Author Share Posted October 20, 2015 I know she had 3 relationship with different woman and all broke and ended up in bad way. I know she is not lying about her being lesbian which is fine but she is giving me a mixed signal? Or maybe just very friendly touchy person? But still rings me every night, text email so we are always talking which is what is confusing me. I will pick a right time when i get a chance and tell her what i feel at the most she can only say sorry right. Thank you for kind reply preraph Link to post Share on other sites
travelbug1996 Posted October 21, 2015 Share Posted October 21, 2015 she just wants physical touch from you. No penetration. She's pretty much using you and I would cut her loose with no discussion. Link to post Share on other sites
Mystique01 Posted October 21, 2015 Share Posted October 21, 2015 Oh wow.....this story didn't turn out the way I expected it to! Lol! Before the "I'm a lesbian" part, I was going to say: "omg....it's SO obvious she's into you!" But now...I'm not too sure. I say.....you can tell her how you feel (after all, it wouldn't HURT right?), but if she really is a lesbian, then yeah.....there may not be any hope there. But since you already know she's a lesbian, you shouldn't feel any fear in telling her how you feel. She told a friend that, she didn't tell you. What's the worst that can happen? If you tell her, she might either: 1) Give you a chance 2) Or, she will say she's a lesbian and will probably be more cognizant of your feelings from now on (ie. she won't be touchy-feely anymore if she has any ounce of decorum). So, imo...telling her how you feel is almost a win-win situation for you. At least you will know where you stand, and you can then move on to another girl who actually LIKES men lol. Link to post Share on other sites
PaperCrane Posted October 21, 2015 Share Posted October 21, 2015 To be honest, I agree with the Kinsey scale in that a large majority of people fall within a spectrum of semi bisexuality, if given the right time and circumstances. The best thing to do is approach it as you would any other lady and put it out there. If she says no it's okay but I'm sure most people would appreciate the honesty and respect to show them how you feel. In the best you get to see where it goes, in the most likely scenario she'll say no and you guys can pal around and it'll be easier with her being a lesbian as you'll know it's really not a fault of your own, in the worst you two stop spending as much time together but you relieve a weight on your chest. Link to post Share on other sites
IrinaSwartz Posted October 22, 2015 Share Posted October 22, 2015 Make your story to become more better as you can.... does it reach out to position where she likes to tell her feelings with showing a fall of deflection on her mouth, that a point you may get satisfactory results with no more love attraction usually have two affirmations to it on showing love.:):) Hi All, I am new here and need bit of advise as i am totally confused with this girl i am friends with. I met lady A through a friend 3 months ago and we get on great and we talk everyday etc. Recently when we have gone out for a walk she first starting linking arms with mine i didn't think of much. Then 3 days ago we out and we were walking i held her hand for more than 20 mins while we were walking and talking. Our hugs are not friendly hugs from what i have read on body languages our bodies are close and it is longer than minute or sometimes 2. We talk everyday on the phone, emails and text. When i was bit down she came over to visit me (surprise visit). Yesterday she invited me to her place and we talked and then went out for lunch. After lunch while we were talking i held her hand for 5 mins plus on the table and she allowed me. This is just a short brief history... A mutual friend yesterday was chatting to her and she meant that you are both perfect for each to her and she said He is a Fab friend and nothing more and i am lesbian and i can't help who i am. This is what i am confused about should i tell her how i feel even though i know she will tell me in a polite way NO or just give it more time for friendship to develop into something else? Ladies would you hold hands or care so much for someone as just a friend? I don't know how to take all this any advise would be great thanks. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Seeker45 Posted October 23, 2015 Author Share Posted October 23, 2015 Thank you all....I think i am going to tell her when we are alone next time or when i am at her place not sure which is best? I don't want to tell her through email or on phone.... I totally understand she can say sorry i only like girls or she might think i don't know so worth trying worse come to worse we still have the friendship i hope Link to post Share on other sites
Author Seeker45 Posted October 23, 2015 Author Share Posted October 23, 2015 Make your story to become more better as you can.... does it reach out to position where she likes to tell her feelings with showing a fall of deflection on her mouth, that a point you may get satisfactory results with no more love attraction usually have two affirmations to it on showing love.:):) I don't understand what you mean sorry Link to post Share on other sites
Author Seeker45 Posted October 23, 2015 Author Share Posted October 23, 2015 Interesting she has invited me for lunch lol so maybe tomorrow i the day i tell her and hopefully move on Link to post Share on other sites
IrinaSwartz Posted October 27, 2015 Share Posted October 27, 2015 I mean to say that you should give time to this newly developed friendship of yours. Yes, it is also true that women care and get attached to their male friends. And, maybe she also cares for you as a friend. But, chances are that she might have different feelings for you. The best solution is to give her time and let her tell what she feels for you. Don’t over stress yourself about this, talk with her, spend time with her as you used to and let her say her feelings, because it’s not her fault as you know. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Seeker45 Posted October 31, 2015 Author Share Posted October 31, 2015 I mean to say that you should give time to this newly developed friendship of yours. Yes, it is also true that women care and get attached to their male friends. And, maybe she also cares for you as a friend. But, chances are that she might have different feelings for you. The best solution is to give her time and let her tell what she feels for you. Don’t over stress yourself about this, talk with her, spend time with her as you used to and let her say her feelings, because it’s not her fault as you know. I was meant to tell her how i felt 2 weeks ago but things came up and i didn't say. I was hoping to say it this coming weekend when we see other. Do you feel i shouldn't? She text me ILU sticker on viber and went sorry lol which is fine but i feel the sooner i tell her the better for both of us? Any thoughts? Link to post Share on other sites
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