Tree lover Posted October 18, 2015 Share Posted October 18, 2015 Hi everyone, the background on this story is I dated a boy from my sophomore year in high school until the middle of my junior year in college. When we were together, the first few years were great. Then as we got older, like many young couples, we started to drift. It was apparent he wanted things I didn't want and that I wasn't prepared for at the time. I was going into a different competitive field and he wanted to start "our family". I broke it off with him because I wasn't interested in living that life and realized we were going different ways. He took it extremely hard. We tried staying friends, but it was obvious that wasn't going to happen. Eventually, our contact stopped because it would just turn into him being hurt and defensive and me feeling bad and like my time was being wasted. I received a text from him yesterday about how he'd seen my mom, and she gave him my number and that we should get together. Normally this would have been fine, but I just had a baby. The man that I had him with was extremely abusive and attacked me outside of my apartment in front of our newborn son. Now, we are engaged in a very heated custody battle. Because of this, I don't really want anyone who isn't directly related to me around my son if I can avoid it. It just makes me nervous for some reason. I live with my parents right now for safety reasons. My son's father beat me pretty badly and attempted to take him. I pay rent and have reign over the basement. I can work from the house, and do in order to stay with my little baby. I'm upset with my mom because she knows this is all happening and that I don't have an interest in him. I'm mad she knows how bad I feel about what happened to me still and that I feel like other people around my son are just too much right now. I don't think it was right, fair, or responsible for her to give him my number without my permission. What should I do? Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden2 Posted October 18, 2015 Share Posted October 18, 2015 One: Change your number. Two: Tell her precisely how wrong it was, but be logical, not emotive. Personally, I never, EVER disclose personal information about anyone I know, to someone who asks. It's an invasion of their privacy and an abuse of our friendship/relationship (whatever that may be). Explain to your mom (even if you are repeating yourself) that you do not want her to ever give your number to anyone, ever, without your prior permission or knowledge. Do NOT give her your new number. Seriously, if contact is required, you'll find a way, and so will she. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Tree lover Posted October 18, 2015 Author Share Posted October 18, 2015 I can just block him. I don't really want to have to change my number for a third time in the last year and a half. but I guess I might have to to keep my baby safe. I mean he doesn't know the father, and the father doesn't have this number and I don't think he knows exactly where I am. I'm not entirely sure but he hasn't confronted me at my parents' home so I think, for now, we are safe. I know she had good intentions. I haven't had really any contact with anyone but my mom and dad since I moved back here. I think that it worries her, but truthfully I don't want anyone but my baby at this point. I don't feel lonely, I'm just alone. I am alone for my child's safety. I don't want him to get hurt. Or to put myself in a situation that would hurt me to the point where I couldn't parent him. I get a lot more nervous now than I was before the attack. If I go out alone, my son is with my parents when it's possible. When it's not, I am on very high alert. My ex is a good person, but this isn't a good time for him to come back in my life. Link to post Share on other sites
anika99 Posted October 19, 2015 Share Posted October 19, 2015 Your mom definitely shouldn't have given the guy your number. She should have offered to take his number and pass it along to you. That is what my stepdad did when a guy from my past called him because he was the only one listed in the phone book with our last name. The guy asked for my phone number but my stepdad wouldn't give it to him. Instead he got the guy's number and gave it to me. What's done is done but hopefully your mom understands now why it's not okay to give out her daughter's telephone number. Link to post Share on other sites
Clarence_Boddicker Posted October 19, 2015 Share Posted October 19, 2015 Tell him the truth & to please not contact you again. Tell your mom what she did was wrong & you will be taking steps to prevent it from happening again. Change your phone number & don't give it to your mom or family members who will. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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