My Life - as I knew it - Is Over.

[CarrieT]

I have been diagnosed Parosmia. "An olfactory dysfunction that is characterized by the inability of the brain to properly identify an odor’s 'natural' smell." In short, fruit, wine, coffee, most food, personal health care products, cleaning products, and soaps smell like ****. And I am a professional food-and-wine writer. I went to cooking school. My 25-year career as a freelance writer and artist was all based on a love and knowledge of gastronomy.

 

Walking through a grocery store makes me nauseous. Opening a bottle of wine makes me cry because it smells so bad. I shower as quickly as I can (now with nose plugs) because it smells to me like I am washing my body with feces, even though I know it is clean soap. It all happened because of an upper respiratory event I had in early July that became exacerbated and lingered well into late August.

 

My sense of smell and taste are mostly shot and a lot of what I eat now is consumed nutrients but being near food and wine is akin to being inside a Porta Potty... Actually, most of the world right now just smells plain awful. I had to leave the Hamlet premier at intermission because the rank aroma of all around me was too overwhelming. So you can see why this is life-impacting for someone who lives/lived to eat and drink. I feel like a musician who is going deaf or a painter who is losing his sight. There is some sensation, but mostly diminished and generally unpleasant. Strong salt and sweet flavors seem to be okay. With dim sum, I am mostly tasting the soy sauce, for example - the rest is muddy, muted, and sort of rotten. I had a doughnut the other day was glorious.

Most papers on the subject says it can slowly goes away; possibly after a few weeks, a few months, or a few years. For some, but not for all. No one seems to know anything definitive. I'm reading a lot on the subject, always looking for products that don't trigger (Dove white soap bars are okay - their liquid soap is "crap"). I'm seeing doctors, and am going through rounds of CT scans, MRIs, steroids, and other treatments. It is a waiting game.

 

Right now, I am navigating a new life without the joy of food. It is a day-to-day experiment of what I can eat that I can get down with little or no flavor versus avoiding foods that "trigger." I'm also learning how hard it is to cook without being able to smell or being able to season properly. I burned my husband's bacon yesterday because I couldn't smell it burning. I've ordered Grant Achatz's book to gain inspiration and will learn to find joy in other things; art, music, theater, literature...

 

And I have a great, supporting husband. Even as a brilliant doctor, he wasn't sure what I had before doing some considerable research. It is rare and isn't something for which there is a quick fix.

[Methodical]

Wow, Carrie, you are having a rough time. I sure hope that you are one of the "lucky one's" who normal senses return quickly! Good luck.

[LivingWaterPlease]

This is so awful, CarrieT! So sorry you're going through this. Can't imagine having your bath/shower experience as bathing is for many people such a pleasant time what with all the fragrances available to use and the effects of water, etc.

 

A question I have for you is, "What do the awful smells now smell like?" Say you were to walk into a smelly public restroom? Are the smells the same as they would be otherwise or have those changed, too?

 

I have a friend who had a similar experience as yours, only he lost all sense of smell and taste. Thankfully, he got fully back to normal but not sure how long it took.

 

Years ago, I had a reaction to pharmaceuticals that left me with feelings in my ears, nose and throat that were based on nothing at all. It felt as if I was smothering all the time and my ears felt painfully full. It lasted about a year but tapered off during the year.

 

From what I've seen, a person's body often repairs itself within a year. A friend of mine has had viral meningitis which began a year ago and it has improved over the past year to the point where she's just about feeling normal again.

 

But, don't think you have to live with this a year as let's hope you begin to notice improvement far sooner.

[d0nnivain]

Oh Carrie. What a huge loss for you. I am so sorry.

 

 

What I do know about you, even if only from these boards, is that you seem to be excellent at self reinvention.

 

 

Best wishes

[sam light]

I'm so sorry that you've taken a blow to both your enjoyment and your income with this condition. I hope you're one of the ones that experiences improvement.

[Stage5Clinger]

Sorry to hear that. My aunt can't taste anything and she's still a really good cook. Just remember it could be worse!

[bluefeather]

I have never heard of this before. If it can slowly go away, then I will have faith that you can get through it. Sending good thoughts to you, CarrieT.

[SoulCat]

Oh geez, that sounds awful. I am so sorry to hear this. Thoughts and prayers to you it will soon get better.

 

SC

[Grumpybutfun]

Terribly sad to read this. I cannot imagine the frustration and helplessness you must feel. I wish I had some information, but like others, I have never heard of this before. I do know from reading your posts over the years though that you are a fighter...keep fighting and trying to find answers.

Sending my best,

Grumps

[xxoo]

I'm sorry to read this, Carrie. Wishing you a full and rapid recovery.

[CarrieT]

A question I have for you is, "What do the awful smells now smell like?" Say you were to walk into a smelly public restroom? Are the smells the same as they would be otherwise or have those changed, too?

Walking into a grocery store is like living in a PortaPotty.

 

The entire world right now smells like feces.

 

We drove by a dead skunk and my husband commented on it, but I couldn't smell that at all.

 

Thanks all for the kind words. I'm sure I will survive - just need to come to terms with the loss. I have been crying most days, but haven't today which is a step forward.

[boltam]

So good things smell bad and bad things smell good.

 

I guess you could always eat at bad restaurants?

[CarrieT]

So good things smell bad and bad things smell good.

 

I guess you could always eat at bad restaurants?

 

No, good things smell bad and bad things still smell bad - when I can smell them. Everything smells bad. Everything tastes bad - or does not taste at all.

 

I eat for texture and to sate hunger and hope it doesn't taste too much like ****.

[Els]

Oh, man, Carrie. That sounds awful, I can't imagine. Really hope it resolves soon!

 

{{Hugs}}

[Michelle ma Belle]

Sorry to hear of your struggles Carrie.

 

My ex hubby's partner has some issue with smells/scent as well but I have no idea what it's called. She often becomes extremely sick and sometimes can't leave the house or her bedroom because it becomes so consuming. She uses some kind of ventilation (not sure what it's called) that hangs around her neck like a necklace that supposedly helps to minimize or neutralize smells (?). It kind of came out of the blue when she was in her mid forties and has struggled with it for a few years now.

 

Hopefully it's not the same thing. I wish you a full and speedy recovery!

[mystikmind2005]

No, good things smell bad and bad things still smell bad - when I can smell them. Everything smells bad. Everything tastes bad - or does not taste at all.

 

I eat for texture and to sate hunger and hope it doesn't taste too much like ****.

 

Interesting how things in life always just happen to swing the negative way.

 

So you won't get an ability for bad things to smell good, when good things smell bad, no surprise at all.

 

Some people get disorders to age faster, no one gets a disorder to age slower.

 

Just interesting isn't it?

[HopeForTomorrow]

Carrie I am so sorry. Never learned about this in med school. In 24 years of practice I have seen ONE patient with this. She was devastated and quality of life was horrible. I can't imagine being in your career (as I am a food and wine person myself) and having to deal with this, just aside from the non-career related implications that you live with every day.

 

How long have you had it?

 

There is just almost NO research in this area. I am sure you have read about the surgical procedures that result in permanent anosmia. Something to keep in mind if the long-term proves that this might not recede. Also some papers out there talking about how it might be more prevalent in one nostril than another, so the physical blocking of the more affected nostril may somewhat help.

 

I pray for you that it self-resolves, at least to some degree.

[CarrieT]

Thank you, HFT...

 

Yeah, I married a brilliant surgeon just two years ago who also had not heard of it so he's been mining the online medical data as well.

 

It started about a month ago with little things; my much-loved hand-cream smelled off and a bottle of wine that I opened was really off (not the way wine is usually off). It escalated last week to where everything in the kitchen and my bathroom smelled so overwhelming that I was crying pretty continuously for several days.

 

The worst was waking in the morning; somehow, in my dreams, I would wake again to a world that smelled normal. But to wake to the sensation of the entire world is "crap" is fairly overwhelming. I got through the weekend but will be calling a Psychiatrist this morning as I'm pretty sure I will be needing some long-term counseling and - probably - antidepressants to deal with the catastrophic loss.

 

There are two centers of study that I have approached, the Monell Institute in Philadelphia and Smell and Taste Clinics at UCSD, UPenn, and UT Austin.

 

Thanks for the kind words...

[Art_Critic]

Hi CarrieT.... hopefully it will go away as quickly as it showed up... if that is something it does....**Hugz**

[GorillaTheater]

I'm so sorry, Carrie.

 

What are the odds of this going away, either on it's own or with available treatment?

[CarrieT]

What are the odds of this going away, either on it's own or with available treatment?

 

There is no treatment, to speak of. And no one can cite odds yet. For some, it eventually goes away - perhaps a year or more? - and for others, it never goes away.

 

I have a good friend who had something similar after a traumatic bicycle accident in her 20s. She had no sense of smell or taste for years. I recently touched based with her and she advised that she eventually had some return of those sensations but - oddly - gasoline smells like a really good incense so she has to be careful not to inhale too deeply.

 

There simply isn't that much research on such an illusive part of our body. I'm having an MRI tomorrow, live with a pair of nose plugs in my pocket for social occasions that are overwhelming (grocery stores, big crowds), and am just now experimenting with what foods I can eat that aren't completely offensive (eggs, milk, some grilled vegetables).

[whichwayisup]

Reading this made my heart break for you. So sorry that you are dealing with this. As AC said, I hope it disappears as quickly as it started. Hugs to you, I wish you strength throughout this.

[GunslingerRoland]

Wow, that sounds truly awful. I think smell is often a forgotten sense for most of us. We see how hard life would be without sight or hearing but smell we use all the time, yet don't think about.

 

I'm glad you are able to find some modifications to make eating, showering, etc. more bearable but I really hope you outgrow it sooner rather than later, so you can enjoy your passions again.

[Ruby Slippers]

What a bummer! I hope this resolves for you quickly. I don't know anything about the condition, but I imagine I would focus on maintaining the best possible respiratory and sinus health to aid in the recovery.

 

The body is an amazingly resilient self-healing machine. I'm hopeful that your body can beat this soon!

[BelleSkye]

I was once on antidepressants and lost alk taste sensation....I know how unsatisfying life can be when you lose your taste for food. I hope and pray you find a solution soon.