gabaee Posted October 18, 2015 Share Posted October 18, 2015 My boyfriend introduced me to his best friend last year and hıs wıfe wıth whom he has been friends for over 15 years. The first time we spent a long weekend with them and their children and they were very nice and I had a great time. This past month, we visited them in Belgium where they live. I have always been extra polite and friendly and have done my best to be respectful in their company. The wife however, while is a nice woman and genuinely seems to like me, does some things that I find inaproppriate and somewhat immature: 1. She always makes loud comments repeatedly about my boyfriend and how he needs to lose weight in front of everyone. This makes me very uncomfortable. When I told my bf this bothers me, he says that is just the way she is and that he is used to her saying that. 2. Even though she is married to my boyfriends friend, she acts somewhat flirtatious with my boyfriend in front of me. The first time, I didn't mind it, but she did it recently. I still didn't comment about it with my boyfriend. He himself pointed it out and said that she does that in order to be cool in front of me and because she is friends with him for a long time, she is trying to impress me, the new girlfriend with her actions. Still, I find this impolite. 3. She makes very explicit sexual comments about her intimate life with her husband in front of us and also, makes references to our sex life. When I told this to my boyfriend, he said that she is Russıan and in that culture they are a bit too open about this kind of stuff. He says even he is uncomfortable with this but because they are his best friends and love him, he puts up with it. Overall, this woman while a nice person, has not left a good impression on me. I find her overbearing and somewhat immature in her behavior. I did tell this to my boyfriend but I did not want to be over criticizing his friends and sound like the difficult new girlfriend. However, I am not sure how to handle her flirtatious behavior with him if it happens again in the future. Do I say something or do I just keep it in? When is it okay to be verbal about such things and make some polite boundaries? Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted October 19, 2015 Share Posted October 19, 2015 Grow a thicker skin. You only see them when? Once or twice a year? When you get to my age you will realize there are many different kinds of personalities out there....you can't change the way they are. If there is a time it's too offensive, it is up to your BF to step in and say something to them...they are HIS friends, and should deal with it himself. Your BF isn't sensitive to how they make you feel.....something to think about. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted October 19, 2015 Share Posted October 19, 2015 She's tactless & you can't change that. If her comments about your BF's weight don't bother him, let them roll off your back too. Similarly, ignore the sex talk; seriously tune her out or walk away. As for the flirting, it's probably harmless in that he's "safe" meaning it would never go farther than what you see / hear. They know where the boundaries are & unless you think somebody is crossing them try not to upset a dynamic that has been in place since before you came into the picture. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Spectre Posted October 19, 2015 Share Posted October 19, 2015 Some of this just doesn't make any sense. She flirts with your boyfriend in front of you because she wants to...impress you? How exactly does that make someone seem cool or impressive? I'd be less concerned about her behavior and more concerned about the crazy logic your bf applies to it. Link to post Share on other sites
mystikmind2005 Posted October 19, 2015 Share Posted October 19, 2015 probably the open sex talk is just personality/culture.... oooor, perhaps it might be wise to make sure you guys don't get too drunk in the same room together! lol Link to post Share on other sites
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