Second chance looks like it is failing, not sure .

[Sadguy33]

Ugh... I was hoping I would never have to post again here, but here I am. Last time it was for cheating, this time because I feel like we are going to lose everything we worked for.

 

Background: we were dating 5 years and she became depressed and cheated on me. I was 25 at the time,her 24. In short, I pretty much think it was gigs and did no contact. After 4 months we reconciled, moved into a nicer apartment, and started progressing.

 

Now: I'm 27,she's 26, and things are starting to get bad again. She told me that she has never really liked my personality and thought it would change.but she can't break up with me for some reason. This is devastating because I worked and fought so hard for this girl but she just doesn't appreciate anything.sex has become a source of depression as she always reminds me that I'm "disgusting" even though I'm honestly a decent looking man.

 

 

She says that I can't get over what she did and that I always make her feel guilty. I agree, but that's because she's so miserable all the time. I sit fair that I pay for everything, make her my top priority, and she is still unhappy? So me making her feel guilty is me asking her" why are you so unhappy when I do everything for you?" She just gets mad and says "fine don't do anything for me I never asked you" and I'm just like what the??? Anyone else would think I'm a textbook perfect bf to this girl. For her to be so mean is so unfair.

 

I guess I'm just rambling but I'm so depressed that she is pushing it to the direction of another breakup. Last time it was horrible but I guess that's because she also cheated on me. I don't want to do it his again, I want to marry this girl but sometimes I even question why. I work so hard for her and she is still a bitch about it.

 

Is there any way to fix this? I know I can fix the way I look and material things, but my personality? I don't think I can change the roots of who I am.

[WhatYouWantToHear]

Is there any way to fix this?

 

Ask a mechanic: A car that has been in a serious wreck can never truly be fixed. It just never drives right afterward.

 

I think that's your relationship. Sure you can pretend and get a long for a while, but there's problems in the frame of your relationship that will never allow it to ever be right. You can only turn the raido up so loud for so long to cover up that grinding metal sound. Eventually, your gonna be stuck in a smoking heap of metal in the side of the road wondering why you are wasting your time with something that will never go anywhere.

[basil67]

I'm new here. What does gigs stand for? You're not the first person I've seen use it.

 

My 2c? Doing everything for a partner won't make them happy if you're the wrong person for them. Gratitude alone is not enough to make mismatched personalities match. If she had asked you to do all this stuff and still didn't reciprocate, it would be unfair....but it sounds very much like you're wooing her with something she doesn't value. It's unfair of you to expect her to be happy with you out of nothing more than gratitude.

 

A good relationship not only has a great connection between the partners, but there is give and take. How can she respect you when you don't respect yourself enough to put yourself on an even standing with her?

 

Anyway, if she doesn't like your personality (hey, at least she's being honest), then all the gifts and paying and putting her on a pedestal isn't going to change how she feels about you. She wants out. Letting let her go would be the right choice for both of you.

[kendahke]

Ugh... I was hoping I would never have to post again here, but here I am. Last time it was for cheating, this time because I feel like we are going to lose everything we worked for.

 

Background: we were dating 5 years and she became depressed and cheated on me. I was 25 at the time,her 24. In short, I pretty much think it was gigs and did no contact. After 4 months we reconciled, moved into a nicer apartment, and started progressing.

 

Now: I'm 27,she's 26, and things are starting to get bad again. She told me that she has never really liked my personality and thought it would change.but she can't break up with me for some reason. This is devastating because I worked and fought so hard for this girl but she just doesn't appreciate anything.sex has become a source of depression as she always reminds me that I'm "disgusting" even though I'm honestly a decent looking man.

 

 

She says that I can't get over what she did and that I always make her feel guilty. I agree, but that's because she's so miserable all the time. I sit fair that I pay for everything, make her my top priority, and she is still unhappy? So me making her feel guilty is me asking her" why are you so unhappy when I do everything for you?" She just gets mad and says "fine don't do anything for me I never asked you" and I'm just like what the??? Anyone else would think I'm a textbook perfect bf to this girl. For her to be so mean is so unfair.

 

I guess I'm just rambling but I'm so depressed that she is pushing it to the direction of another breakup. Last time it was horrible but I guess that's because she also cheated on me. I don't want to do it his again, I want to marry this girl but sometimes I even question why. I work so hard for her and she is still a bitch about it.

 

Is there any way to fix this? I know I can fix the way I look and material things, but my personality? I don't think I can change the roots of who I am.

 

Yes. Move out, dump her go no contact and get on with your life with someone who has a far better consideration for your esteem than this harridan has.

 

DO. NOT. MARRY. HER. unless you want to live your life out in quiet desperation.

[kendahke]

I'm new here. What does gigs stand for? You're not the first person I've seen use it.

 

"grass is (always)greener syndrome"

[kendahke]

And stop doing everything for her. Let her fend for herself.

 

Don't cast your pearls before swine. They don't appreciate or recognize value.