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Needing another chance but he said may be too late!


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My partner and I love each other but we fight about nothings or just how things are said. He is unwell with tablets that cause mood swings and I have anxiety disorder which gets worse when he is angry with me as I get upset and cry and sometimes I burst back at him which I should not do and am trying to fix.

 

We have been together for about 4years and in beginning was amazing until we lost our baby and then he said that I changed for the worse, always defensive he sais but I feel that I have dealt with that part of my life.

 

We are having counciling and I am really trying to fix things but he says there may be too much water under the bridge but he still persists which I am so lucky for.

Am I wasting my time? I don't want to be as we do love each other and the friends thing will be too hard if we do call it quits.

 

I am not able to imagine my life without him in it so I will try to change and be more helpful to his needs. Will this help?

 

I also feel that there is this thing of a girl sniffing around and I know he loves me but sometimes problems can occur and I have problems with her but he tells me there is nothing to it at all and I do believe him but I dont her.

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Hi Libran - i'm sorry to read of your troubles with your relationship. It does sound as though, you and your partner do truly love each other or i think you wouldn't have lasted this long. If you love each other then please you must keep on communicating to each other about your feelings. Lack of communication is the thing which breaks relationships, not our mood swings or who says what and when. You sound as though you may have a low self esteem, do you think this is a problem for you? If it is, then there are loads of self help books around which could maybe readdress this for you. Don't give up on love easily and don't look for problems where there aren't any!! Take care and good luck from Poppy

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LucreziaBorgia

It sounds like you two are no good to each other as partners, because within the context of this relationship you cannot grow and strengthen as individuals.

 

When love becomes more a source of pain, than a source of strength - and you find that you have to greatly alter the reality of who you are as a person to assure that this intangible thing called "love" will work then it may be a time not to change yourself, but to remove yourself from that "love". I expect your boyfriend has reached a point where he feels this relationship drains rather than enriches him and he needs to walk away to find some clarity in his life outside of this context with you.

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