Fairydust1516 Posted October 18, 2015 Share Posted October 18, 2015 It's a year now since my boyfriend ended things but he doesn't seem to be able to let go even now. He has another girlfriend although he denies they are 'together '. Her Twitter account which I've found suggests otherwise . Last week they were at a family event of hers and every other tweet is about him and her doing stuff together and how happy she is . What happens is I try to move on then he will initiate contact again . Ive been on dates ( which really cut him up ) but they came to nothing because I am still holding out for him. In the summer I texted him foolishly to say I missed him and he replied saying he thinks about me every day . The last few weeks he has said he would like to meet up to see if we still have feelings . He doesn't mention his girlfriend though ! Not great for her I mean he can't be madly in love if he is in touch with his ex? On the advice of friends I've messaged him with an ultimatum to say unless he actually wants to be with me and can confess to his girlfriend and be honest then I don't want to know. I'm upset now because he hasn't been in touch since. I was only trying to show I won't be messed around but I feel it's backfired because he seems to have lost interest completely ! Any ideas what is going on here. I mean who holds onto their ex when they have another girlfriend - even though he is denying it. Am so confused . I've asked him what he wants from me and he won't say . It's so hard because I still love him . My friends say I should drop him in it with his girlfriend on Facebook but I feel I'm better than that . Any thoughts gratefully received ...! Link to post Share on other sites
pidgeon1010 Posted October 18, 2015 Share Posted October 18, 2015 First of all, your friend's advice wasn't sound (if he wanted to be with you, he would have broken up with his gf and let you know that he wanted you back) but since you're already done it, here's my two cents. It didn't backfire. It actually confirmed what he's actually after- which is probably to turn you into side piece for fun and sex. Why are you still in contact with him? He has a GF! Block him and move on. Have some self-respect. You sticking around and hoping he will have a epiphany that he wants to be with you, is unlikely. You're going get fast tracked into a FWB relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Fairydust1516 Posted October 18, 2015 Author Share Posted October 18, 2015 Thanks yeah ... That makes sense but surely his girlfriend can't be that special if he's creeping around me again ?? When we were together he really valued loyalty do can't understand Link to post Share on other sites
kendahke Posted October 19, 2015 Share Posted October 19, 2015 It's a year now since my boyfriend ended things but he doesn't seem to be able to let go even now. He has another girlfriend although he denies they are 'together '. Her Twitter account which I've found suggests otherwise . Last week they were at a family event of hers and every other tweet is about him and her doing stuff together and how happy she is . What happens is I try to move on then he will initiate contact again . That is a direct result of you wanting him to stay in contact with you and making it very easy for him to keep that hook firmly in your cheek. If you really and truly wanted to move on, which your post does not suggest, he'd be on block on all forms and devices of communication and social media. Ive been on dates ( which really cut him up ) but they came to nothing because I am still holding out for him. Not good. In the summer I texted him foolishly to say I missed him and he replied saying he thinks about me every day . The last few weeks he has said he would like to meet up to see if we still have feelings . He doesn't mention his girlfriend though ! Not great for her I mean he can't be madly in love if he is in touch with his ex? On the advice of friends I've messaged him with an ultimatum to say unless he actually wants to be with me and can confess to his girlfriend and be honest then I don't want to know. I'm upset now because he hasn't been in touch since. I was only trying to show I won't be messed around but I feel it's backfired because he seems to have lost interest completely ! Any ideas what is going on here. I mean who holds onto their ex when they have another girlfriend - even though he is denying it. Am so confused . I've asked him what he wants from me and he won't say . It's so hard because I still love him . My friends say I should drop him in it with his girlfriend on Facebook but I feel I'm better than that . Any thoughts gratefully received ...! Don't be "that" girl who won't let go of her ex and colludes with him in a sneaky affair behind his new girlfriend's back. If the tables were turned, would you appreciate him being in contact with his ex like he is behind your back with you ? As you can see, this is what he was doing to you while with you behind your back. It's not a cute look, hon. No, actually it didn't backfire. You got the result you needed to get; it's just that you don't want to hear the message. You want what you want and in the end, that may end up doing more damage to you than the ending of the relationship did. Link to post Share on other sites
kendahke Posted October 19, 2015 Share Posted October 19, 2015 (edited) Thanks yeah ... That makes sense but surely his girlfriend can't be that special if he's creeping around me again ?? When we were together he really valued loyalty do can't understand Well, you must not have been that special either. Look at what he's asking you to do: he wants you to sneak around behind his girlfriend's back with him--which means he's comfortable doing this because he did it to you. When someone values you, they don't treat your esteem like trash. He led you to believe he valued loyalty, but his actions put the lie to that. Edited October 19, 2015 by kendahke Link to post Share on other sites
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