Am I setting myself up for major heartbreak?

[Jmarie]

My ex an I had been together for a year and a half. During that time I had connected with him more than I thought possible. He was my rock, and I his. We were able to talk about anything, and get through any argument no matter how bad stronger than ever. I love him and even though we aren't together I know if he ever truly needed me I wouldn't turn him away.

 

We broke up a couple of weeks ago because we were having trust issues. He told me he needed time to figure out what wanted. He wants to get his life together and find out what he wants to do with his future. He thinks I should continue to focus on myself as well and that when the time is right we'll resolve our issues with a clear mind and be together again.

 

Normally I would understand the need for time, and wanting to better yourself for the person you want to be with, but the thing is that he admitted that he no longer loves me, but he still does really care for me.

 

I called him out on the possibility of him meeting someone else who he could potentially fall in love with, since he wants me to wait for him in a sense. He told me that he wouldn't fall in love and that even if he did end up dating others (Which he's already near doing) that he would always come back to me, because he knows what we had is what matters most to him at the end of the day.

 

This is where I'm completely lost and have no idea what to think. As the saying goes "if it's meant to be it'll happen," but I can't help feeling that I'm setting myself up for disappointment. I told him that he should know you can't help falling in love with someone. He knows this but still swears it won't happen, knowing I'm who he wants to end up with when he has his life together.

 

I want to believe that somehow when the time is right we can be together again, but I just don't know if keeping an open mind about this is going to hurt me again in the future as I move on with my life.

[xpaperxcutx]

Yes you are.

Because actions always spesks louder than words and his words or promises to you currently do not hold weight. How can he say you are all he wants if he can't make the decisiom to stick with you? If he can't decide to be with you, you have to make the decision to cut him off and go NC. Nobody should be so cruel to make you wait.

 

You are hurting and you are letting him lead your life. Do not be so dependent on him as to let him dictate how things should be. If he wants space let him have his space but don't wait on the sideline for him.

 

Be strong, be brave and have the heart to walk away. Yes, if it was meant to be he will come bsck to you. But not while you wait in limbo for him.

[kendahke]

My ex an I had been together for a year and a half. During that time I had connected with him more than I thought possible. He was my rock, and I his. We were able to talk about anything, and get through any argument no matter how bad stronger than ever. I love him and even though we aren't together I know if he ever truly needed me I wouldn't turn him away.

 

We broke up a couple of weeks ago because we were having trust issues. He told me he needed time to figure out what wanted. He wants to get his life together and find out what he wants to do with his future. He thinks I should continue to focus on myself as well and that when the time is right we'll resolve our issues with a clear mind and be together again.

 

Normally I would understand the need for time, and wanting to better yourself for the person you want to be with, but the thing is that he admitted that he no longer loves me, but he still does really care for me.

 

I called him out on the possibility of him meeting someone else who he could potentially fall in love with, since he wants me to wait for him in a sense. He told me that he wouldn't fall in love and that even if he did end up dating others (Which he's already near doing) that he would always come back to me, because he knows what we had is what matters most to him at the end of the day.

 

This is where I'm completely lost and have no idea what to think. As the saying goes "if it's meant to be it'll happen," but I can't help feeling that I'm setting myself up for disappointment. I told him that he should know you can't help falling in love with someone. He knows this but still swears it won't happen, knowing I'm who he wants to end up with when he has his life together.

 

I want to believe that somehow when the time is right we can be together again, but I just don't know if keeping an open mind about this is going to hurt me again in the future as I move on with my life.

 

To answer the question in the topic line and the last sentence in your post: Yes. You will get hurt if you waste youth that you'll never get back waiting on someone who doesn't want you.

 

He is "managing" you and when people do that, they're manipulating you for their own selfish ends. The fair thing to do is to cut you loose if he's unsure of his feelings for you, not talk you into putting your life on the shelf until he gets back around to wanting to deal with you.

 

Who was having the trust issues--you or him?

 

When people say they are "confused" and need to figure things out, that means there is someone else that they've met that they don't want to say "no" to, but they don't know what to do with the one they're with because they're trying to pull this over on them without incurring any pain for themselves.

 

IMO, he's feeding you a bunch of BS bread crumbs and expecting you to make a meal out of them until his fever for this other woman has broken. You didn't think he'd honestly tell you that he's allowing himself to develop feelings he should be having for you for someone else, did you? Especially when he's thinking you should stick around until he's done doing what he's doing?

 

Girl, no. Cut his loose so he can go do what he needs to do. You do the same. At this point you don't owe him anything.