Why do we cheat?

[treehugger101]

What are the REAL reasons as to why men and women cheat while in relationships, engagements, marriages, etc.

[JustGettingBy]

Lack of impulse control and little thought to long term consequences would probably be the main one. For lesser reasons, some people want something outside of their current relationship, some cheat as revenge, some people like the "thrill" of doing something bad, and some simply don't care who they hurt and are just jerks.

[road]

Weak and yield to the temptation. With I will never get caught self justification.

 

 

Combined with always finding someone that attractive. Men see a movie and say that actress is hot how I would not mind doing her. Same with the women in real life.

 

 

Though as I say just because it is in the pastry store window does not mean we go into the store and buy it. So we look and drool a bit as we pass by that store's window.

 

 

I would suspect that many men to not cheat because they are not women magnets. You know women magnet, women are always asking that man out.

 

 

What to see my picture?

 

 

Look up woman magnet in the dictionary.

[PegNosePete]

Because their desire to satisfy their physical urges is greater than their concern for the consequences.

[Clarence_Boddicker]

Cake eating, lack of impulse control, lack of a moral compass, selfishness, sense of entitlement, etc.

[Nikki Sahagin]

- Some people are not monogamous by nature, but try to force themselves to be. These people will never be suited for a traditional relationship

 

- Sex dwindles in the couples relationship and they don't know what to do so one gets sex elsewhere

 

- A person wants to have their cake and eat it to

 

- A person can't control their impulses

 

- The person is not in love with their partner or not attracted to their partner

 

- The person does not respect their partner

 

- The person wants to experience novelty with a new person

[smackie9]

All in all, it comes down to using an affair to escape their situation, whatever that situation is. It can be anywhere from the lack of sex, attention, boredom, no conscious (selfish), and what someone else said impulse behavior, but also mental illness, drug and alcohol issues......People cheat for different reasons.

[kendahke]

What are the REAL reasons as to why men and women cheat while in relationships, engagements, marriages, etc.

 

because they're selfish. Fin. Full stop.

[drifter777]

What are the REAL reasons as to why men and women cheat while in relationships, engagements, marriages, etc.

 

 

The best "reasons" I ever read is the following blog post:

 

Infidelity: Why do people cheat?

 

There must be hundreds, if not thousands, of books and studies that delve into this question: why do people cheat? So, after reading a some of this in an attempt to understand this seemingly abhorrent behavior I’ve come to my own conclusions.

 

Studies by anthropologists, sociologists and other (overly) educated people have determined that sex is the largest motivator of a man’s behavior. Once a man has secured a sex partner, his “pursuit” of her pretty much ends (he already has her) and his behavior turns defensive. When another man gets too close or his partner flirts or shows any interest in another male, he feels threatened and rushes to defend his conquest from the threat. At the same time he will continue to pursue other women in an attempt add to his mythical “harem”. Men are going to engage in the chase, even if they call it off in their own mind far before consummating the act. Women, on the other hand, are going to respond to the advances of some men even though they have no conscious desire to cheat. They have an overwhelming need to be desired by men. It’s genetic and there’s really nothing any of can do to change it. Men and women flirt – it’s our nature.

 

Given that the pursuit of sex is the primary motivator of a man’s behavior and that a women’s natural urge to be desired is nearly insatiable, why don’t we all cheat all the time? My contention is that these primal urges are overcome by an even stronger law of human behavior; namely the fact that a person will not engage in any behavior that makes their situation in life worse. This means that men will continue to pursue other women for the sexual conquest and women will continue to put themselves into situations where they can feel desired by other men. At the magic moment when either one believes they are in a position to consummate their behavior and have sex with another person, they weigh whether screwing this new person will make their life better or worse. Their judgment may be impaired by alcohol or they believe that their committed partner will never know about their cheating, but the bottom line is they decided their condition in life will be improved – or at least no be worse – by screwing this other person.

 

Think about the reasons people give for cheating. Women feel they are trapped, unappreciated, emotionally abandoned, abused, etc. etc. Men are often opportunistic in that they pursue, and “catch”, a woman and believe that since their partner will never find about about this encounter, in essence, they have nothing to lose. For men, it’s all about the sex…the conquest. For women, it’s the gratification of being desired.

I’m not sure either men or women who cheat are thinking about hurting their primary partner. I think they go through the selection process, whatever it is, and ultimately decide that having sex with another person is worth whatever they perceive the risk to be. This always relegates the betrayed spouse to “not good enough” status, and may well be the hardest part of the cheating to overcome. We know, subconsciously, that our partner weighed their options and decided we were not good enough to move the scale over to “it’s not worth it”. That’s tough to swallow. That’s why we lose trust in our partner; we know we didn’t measure up that time and can’t help but be insecure about whether we will measure up the next time.