OLD: First emails that get responses

[impatiently_patient]

Wow. I even missed the Mets game to post this drivel. Thanks, and nighty night.

 

Well, there's yet another thing in Back To The Future that didn't happen. [

]

[Haydn]

Have not read everything here but humour is the right way to go. Never done OLD but if i did then humour would determine whether i replied or not.

 

When i have chatted up a girl in a pub or some other social setting (Frozen food aisle at Tesco`s works well) If she is moved by my musings about all the satanic veggies she has in her trolley, then bingo! Vice versa of course.

 

Some nice ideas OP.

[Toodaloo]

While men may want a woman who is hot to look at, women are not so bothered by looks. We know that we want the guy who is going to stick by us and support us. So yeah opening messages are way more important than looks.

 

They need to be light hearted, friendly and open. "Hey" does not cut it at all.

 

Also make sure that you are reasonably close to your prospects or they will look at the distance and think "too far" - I have done this, good looking guy, well educated, high match score, good job, great first message but so far away! I did respond and we spoke for a bit but the distance was a problem for both of us.

 

Any signs of bitterness, narcissism, entitlement, or in general unpleasant attitudes is going to turn us off like a switch and we will be running for the hills. If men can't get this into their heads then they will always lose out with OLD and make their problems worse... Just saying.

 

IP if you think you are repulsive why on earth should anyone else think otherwise. Its very unattractive to think that way and not do anything to try and change it. Your friends have a point. Its not your looks but your attitude that is the problem...

[ZA Dater]

Good rule of thumb, use simple language, I have had insurmountable problems in the past whereby people simply cant understand what I am saying or seemingly feel intimidated by good English.

[Haydn]

Good rule of thumb, use simple language, I have had insurmountable problems in the past whereby people simply cant understand what I am saying or seemingly feel intimidated by good English.

 

Define good English?

 

Do you mean you discuss Cartesian theory or blind them with a deep knowledge of `Grouting?`

 

Have you ever tried this one....

 

`Get yer coat, you`re coming home with me`

 

(It elicited a murmur of a smile) Broke the ice so to speak...

[ZA Dater]

Define good English?

 

Do you mean you discuss Cartesian theory or blind them with a deep knowledge of `Grouting?`

 

Have you ever tried this one....

 

`Get yer coat, you`re coming home with me`

 

(It elicited a murmur of a smile) Broke the ice so to speak...

 

My point being its seen to be normal to type in text speak these days and I guess it depends what exactly one is looking for but I found OLD does not favour expansive language at all.

 

The issue with OLD is why people use it in the first place, one should tailor ones expectations and ones initial e mail based on that.

[LookAtThisPOst]

I've tried that it hasn't worked.. My face is probably why they don't answer back..

 

Yep.

 

I have a great example of this. A recent example.

 

There was this couple that came to our Meetups. They were friends for a year before they got involved romantically ( which is odd but not unheard of) . I had chatted with a little at events and she was quite attractive and him...well, a nice guy, but could look like he could knock off eating out all the time. He wasn't much to look at honestly. So I figured she liked him for his personality.

 

Then this year I saw here on a dating site. I contacted her and asked her what happened between the. She said they called off their engagement earlier this year.

 

Well I figured I'd ask her out and we could catch up as I hadn't seen her in a while. She said this was her first time...ever...online dating.

 

I kind of joked with her and said that I'd save her the trouble of meeting these weirdo strangers as I've horror stories from the other ladies in Meetup, and asked her out.

 

She said "Sorry I'm just not attracted "

 

I had to laugh at that. Though it took a year for her to be attracted to him considering how he looked....online world save all her that time. Lol

 

This proves if yourequired not really attractive that your bettr off....like this guy was and let a woman be your friend an entire year or go online and let her easily dismiss you. Lol

[ZA Dater]

Yep.

 

I have a great example of this. A recent example.

 

There was this couple that came to our Meetups. They were friends for a year before they got involved romantically ( which is odd but not unheard of) . I had chatted with a little at events and she was quite attractive and him...well, a nice guy, but could look like he could knock off eating out all the time. He wasn't much to look at honestly. So I figured she liked him for his personality.

 

Then this year I saw here on a dating site. I contacted her and asked her what happened between the. She said they called off their engagement earlier this year.

 

Well I figured I'd ask her out and we could catch up as I hadn't seen her in a while. She said this was her first time...ever...online dating.

 

I kind of joked with her and said that I'd save her the trouble of meeting these weirdo strangers as I've horror stories from the other ladies in Meetup, and asked her out.

 

She said "Sorry I'm just not attracted "

 

I had to laugh at that. Though it took a year for her to be attracted to him considering how he looked....online world save all her that time. Lol

 

This proves if yourequired not really attractive that your bettr off....like this guy was and let a woman be your friend an entire year or go online and let her easily dismiss you. Lol

 

I can relate to this in a way, though I think with OLD its perhaps just difficult to win anyone over so jaded are so many of the people.

[Haydn]

My point being its seen to be normal to type in text speak these days and I guess it depends what exactly one is looking for but I found OLD does not favour expansive language at all.

 

The issue with OLD is why people use it in the first place, one should tailor ones expectations and ones initial e mail based on that.

 

Oh i see. I misunderstood.

 

Are there any special OLD sites for `like-minded` people?

 

You know the sort of thing...

 

Eclectic Millners looking for friendship with possible view to RS...

 

Jargon heaven.

 

Seems to be a gap in the market....

 

But back to the OP`s original point...Humour is the key for me. Obviously it has to be your own and not a load of lines `lifted` from a book entitled `101 chat up lines`

[Timshel]

Very funny ^^!

[LookAtThisPOst]

We call B.S. because it is B.S. I've written plenty of similar messages (granted, sans the overt placating, and with actual humor not requiring footnote) and gotten abysmal results over years of online dating.

 

I'll give the suggestions credit where credit is due: They are nicely concise and (mostly) topical. Things I always adhere to out the gate. Fact of the matter is, being interesting and having wit/articulation in convo are way down the list of what's important to women. Humor might be great, but almost impossible to deploy though the written word if it's anything other than styles I tend to find annoying and sophomoric. Women generally don't have a dream list of comedians that turn them on because of how funny they are.

 

This schtick looks pretty transparent to my eyes, some of you ladies disagree. It's like when politicians and car salesman open their mouths, it makes my skin crawl. But then, it works because enough people buy into it I suppose. I'm not interested in any women on that level, however, so I keep it the genuine article, be it interests, humor, whathaveyou.

 

I would have to say I'm in the same wheel house as impatiently_impatient. I get a kick out of how people are arguing this point where the argument is starting to sound more like word spinning their previous argument.

 

Anyhow, what I find funny is that I keep seeing the same faces of the women in the passing years.

 

They've become permanent fixtures of the site, so either

 

1. They aren't taking online dating seriously and just bored and vying for attention.

2. They are serious about online dating, but have a huge laundry lists of criteria that probably includes a strict 6 feet height requirement.

 

Chances are the longer they've been on the sites, the less likely they'll respond.

 

I have gotten better response rates, however, from women who are new to these sites. They are less jaded and open minded.

[ZA Dater]

I

Chances are the longer they've been on the sites, the less likely they'll respond.

 

I have gotten better response rates, however, from women who are new to these sites. They are less jaded and open minded.

 

Exactly this, honestly many on dating sites have what I call "picket fence syndrome", absolute perfection is required.

 

If I could advise struggling guys one thing NEVER DO OLD. It killed my confidence and I regret ever having tried it, I am write fairly well but its never ever helped me at OLD at all.

[serial muse]

Yep.

 

I have a great example of this. A recent example.

 

There was this couple that came to our Meetups. They were friends for a year before they got involved romantically ( which is odd but not unheard of) . I had chatted with a little at events and she was quite attractive and him...well, a nice guy, but could look like he could knock off eating out all the time. He wasn't much to look at honestly. So I figured she liked him for his personality.

 

Then this year I saw here on a dating site. I contacted her and asked her what happened between the. She said they called off their engagement earlier this year.

 

Well I figured I'd ask her out and we could catch up as I hadn't seen her in a while. She said this was her first time...ever...online dating.

 

I kind of joked with her and said that I'd save her the trouble of meeting these weirdo strangers as I've horror stories from the other ladies in Meetup, and asked her out.

 

She said "Sorry I'm just not attracted "

 

I had to laugh at that. Though it took a year for her to be attracted to him considering how he looked....online world save all her that time. Lol

 

This proves if yourequired not really attractive that your bettr off....like this guy was and let a woman be your friend an entire year or go online and let her easily dismiss you. Lol

 

There's always the chance that she meant she wasn't attracted to your personality. I mean, it's interesting that you haven't considered that.

 

You also have no idea whether it took a year for her "to be attracted to him considering how he looked". She may have found him attractive before, in looks OR personality OR both, but wasn't interested in dating him (or vice versa!) for other reasons (they had other people they were interested in, they wanted to keep the friendship, use your imagination).

 

So many assumptions. I mean, when a person is so married to his bias it's all he's ever going to see.

 

Again, I have to laugh at the fact that some guys on this thread are bemoaning how women are hard to please. A guy presents an example of what works for him and the dudes in this thread are taking it apart stitch by tiny nitpicky little stitch. Yeesh.

[AD1980]

Yep.

 

I have a great example of this. A recent example.

 

There was this couple that came to our Meetups. They were friends for a year before they got involved romantically ( which is odd but not unheard of) . I had chatted with a little at events and she was quite attractive and him...well, a nice guy, but could look like he could knock off eating out all the time. He wasn't much to look at honestly. So I figured she liked him for his personality.

 

Then this year I saw here on a dating site. I contacted her and asked her what happened between the. She said they called off their engagement earlier this year.

 

Well I figured I'd ask her out and we could catch up as I hadn't seen her in a while. She said this was her first time...ever...online dating.

 

I kind of joked with her and said that I'd save her the trouble of meeting these weirdo strangers as I've horror stories from the other ladies in Meetup, and asked her out.

 

She said "Sorry I'm just not attracted "

 

I had to laugh at that. Though it took a year for her to be attracted to him considering how he looked....online world save all her that time. Lol

 

This proves if yourequired not really attractive that your bettr off....like this guy was and let a woman be your friend an entire year or go online and let her easily dismiss you. Lol

 

Yeah looks get your foot in the door especially old..It seems even the not so attractive women have incredible standards with old..

[LookAtThisPOst]

Yeah looks get your foot in the door especially old..It seems even the not so attractive women have incredible standards with old..

 

Right.

 

There was a time I was rather discerning in choosing my matches, reading what they had in their profiles to ensure they were a good match for me. I'd come across these RARE matches online that I thought I'd have a guaranteed "first meet" with a woman with so many shared interests.

 

Another stunning example is when a local science teacher, she was a bit chunky, but had a cute smile and sparkle to her eye that I was attracted to in her photos.

 

Then I read she was into sci-fi, movies, obscure geeky stuff that not too many over 40 types "get".

 

Not only that we shared the same values and beliefs, it was quite uncanny. (I don't give me that, "Having too much in common can be a deterrent" either, believe me, it DOES help having shared interests and common beliefs)

 

She said, "Sorry, I just don't think we would be a good match". I was actually floored by her response as I thought we would be a good enough match to at least meet face-to-face...ONE time. Some aren't even willing to give it a TRY.

[Imajerk17]

Good for you and him. Send me a wedding invitation.

 

Fact is, I'm hideous subhuman trash to 99.9995% of women online, so despite being as articulate as him (and more genuine to boot), I get ignored utterly. There's no making up with personalty. Complete rubbish concept.

 

The real path to winning a date online is figuring out who would think you are attractive back instead of wasting your time trying to be a witty wordsmith to scores of women who haven't got time to click on an email sent by some fugly reject. If you find that girl, pretty much any non-offensive opener will be fine. The other option is to wait around for women to make contact with you. It's the ONLY way I've gotten dates.

 

It always cracks me up when dudes with no success with women come on here and try to give "the real deal" on social skills and "what women really respond to". All the while throwing insults at women and guys who are having success.

 

Don't be silly.

 

Show me a guy who views women as "awful to deal with" (your words in another thread) and I will show you a guy whose personality is holding him back. The emails I suggested won't help a guy w your mindset.

 

If your avatar is you, you are actually a decent-looking guy. No homo bro. It's not your looks that are holding you back. Especially if you have the wide range of interests.

 

Saddened to hear you're so frustrated, and I hope things turn around for you.

Edited October 22, 2015 by Imajerk17

[StBreton]

It always cracks me up when dudes with no success with women come on here and try to give "the real deal" on social skills and "what women really respond to". All the while throwing insults at women and guys who are having success.

 

Don't be silly.

 

Show me a guy who views women as "awful to deal with" (your words in another thread) and I will show you a guy whose personality is holding him back. The emails I suggested won't help a guy w your mindset.

 

If your avatar is you, you are actually a decent-looking guy. No homo bro. It's not your looks that are holding you back. Especially if you have the wide range of interests.

 

Saddened to hear you're so frustrated, and I hope things turn around for you.

 

Badda bing!

[LookAtThisPOst]

It always cracks me up when dudes with no success with women come on here and try to give "the real deal" on social skills and "what women really respond to". All the while throwing insults at women and guys who are having success.

 

Don't be silly.

 

Show me a guy who views women as "awful to deal with" (your words in another thread) and I will show you a guy whose personality is holding him back. The emails I suggested won't help a guy w your mindset.

 

If your avatar is you, you are actually a decent-looking guy. No homo bro. It's not your looks that are holding you back. Especially if you have the wide range of interests.

 

Saddened to hear you're so frustrated, and I hope things turn around for you.

 

The thing is though, I've seen several women in their profile that would write a short paragraph, paraphrased like this:

 

"Listen, some people think that personality is important part of forming a relationship, but let's face it guys, looks do matter...so I have to be attracted physically, so if I don't respond...chances are I wasn't attracted"

 

I've even said some women repeatedly say, "Looks attract first, personality comes after that" (or keeps them around.)

 

or, "If you're not 6 feet tall, do not contact me."

 

Yes, they actually do say this IN their profiles, though some women probably keep such things off the internet, they are likely thinking it.

 

With those dealbreakers already in place and set online, you can try contacting them, but they won't reply. Some get rather irritated FOR replying if you're not 6 feet tall either. lol.

[Toodaloo]

The thing is though, I've seen several women in their profile that would write a short paragraph, paraphrased like this:

 

"Listen, some people think that personality is important part of forming a relationship, but let's face it guys, looks do matter...so I have to be attracted physically, so if I don't respond...chances are I wasn't attracted"

 

I've even said some women repeatedly say, "Looks attract first, personality comes after that" (or keeps them around.)

 

or, "If you're not 6 feet tall, do not contact me."

 

Yes, they actually do say this IN their profiles, though some women probably keep such things off the internet, they are likely thinking it.

 

With those dealbreakers already in place and set online, you can try contacting them, but they won't reply. Some get rather irritated FOR replying if you're not 6 feet tall either. lol.

 

And for every douch of a bloke is a bitch of a woman... How many times?

 

Stay away from the bitches... Its pretty obvious who they are when they write poo like this.

[StBreton]

The thing is though, I've seen several women in their profile that would write a short paragraph, paraphrased like this:

 

"Listen, some people think that personality is important part of forming a relationship, but let's face it guys, looks do matter...so I have to be attracted physically, so if I don't respond...chances are I wasn't attracted"

 

I've even said some women repeatedly say, "Looks attract first, personality comes after that" (or keeps them around.)

 

or, "If you're not 6 feet tall, do not contact me."

 

Yes, they actually do say this IN their profiles, though some women probably keep such things off the internet, they are likely thinking it.

 

With those dealbreakers already in place and set online, you can try contacting them, but they won't reply. Some get rather irritated FOR replying if you're not 6 feet tall either. lol.

 

 

Ok so you guys have to pass the height requirement for SOME women ...and the attraction factor ...what if you were in your mid late 40s ...attractive ...and have to deal with guys in your age range passing you up because they only date gals 10 yrs younger? Because they "look and feel so much younger" Lolololol

 

Believe me ...we all have crosses to bear with OLD ...

[LookAtThisPOst]

Ok so you guys have to pass the height requirement for SOME women ...and the attraction factor ...what if you were in your mid late 40s ...attractive ...and have to deal with guys in your age range passing you up because they only date gals 10 yrs younger? Because they "look and feel so much younger" Lolololol

 

Believe me I'm not one of THOSE guys. I've seen mid-40's women that turn heads or have an arse like an onion, it makes me want to cry, ;-) (It's a compliment). This is the age range I've been in touch with online. Mid 30s to late 40s (sometimes early 50s).

[AD1980]

Right.

 

There was a time I was rather discerning in choosing my matches, reading what they had in their profiles to ensure they were a good match for me. I'd come across these RARE matches online that I thought I'd have a guaranteed "first meet" with a woman with so many shared interests.

 

Another stunning example is when a local science teacher, she was a bit chunky, but had a cute smile and sparkle to her eye that I was attracted to in her photos.

 

Then I read she was into sci-fi, movies, obscure geeky stuff that not too many over 40 types "get".

 

Not only that we shared the same values and beliefs, it was quite uncanny. (I don't give me that, "Having too much in common can be a deterrent" either, believe me, it DOES help having shared interests and common beliefs)

 

She said, "Sorry, I just don't think we would be a good match". I was actually floored by her response as I thought we would be a good enough match to at least meet face-to-face...ONE time. Some aren't even willing to give it a TRY.

 

This about sums up old for men

 

http://i.imgur.com/o6snO1v.jpg

 

http://ak-hdl.buzzfed.com/static/2014-12/18/12/enhanced/webdr07/grid-cell-17529-1418923510-8.jpg

[StBreton]

This about sums up old for men

 

http://i.imgur.com/o6snO1v.jpg

 

http://ak-hdl.buzzfed.com/static/2014-12/18/12/enhanced/webdr07/grid-cell-17529-1418923510-8.jpg

 

Hahahaha ...love them both! Thx for sharin'

Edited October 22, 2015 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[AD1980]

Hahahaha ...love them both! Thx for sharin'

 

Amazingly the guy who tweeted that set off a firestorm where thousands of women threatened him and called him a monster all the while ignoring what the women said.

Edited October 23, 2015 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[StBreton]

Hahahaha ...love them both! Thx for sharin'

 

Amazingly the guy who tweeted that set off a firestorm where thousands of women threatened him and called him a monster all the while ignoring what the women said.

 

I don't understand why a lot of women think they can say whatever they want about things they find unattractive on a man but if a man does the same he's evil.

 

I can't explain the reactions of many of my gender ... Calling a spade a spade is fair game in my book

 

That's cool you date woman in a large age range. I've discounted guys who are a lot younger ... Maybe I should revisit ...but my ex H of 18 yrs was 9 yrs younger and I know how that ended

 

anyway ...love love your onion butt analogy ...too funny!

Edited October 22, 2015 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
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