StBreton Posted October 24, 2015 Share Posted October 24, 2015 Getting likes and responses is easy, I get a lot of attention on dating sites. The problem is most just use the site to chat and window shop while they enjoy the attention. They're very flaky and you have to put a lot of time in and be really patient due to the amount of attention whores. I met 2 really nice girls the last time around, but it's really not worth the amount of time you invest and the crap you go through just to meet 1 or 2 gals and then see if compatibility comes into play. I usually activate my account for about a couple of weeks before I shut it back off. There's a lot of truth to this ... That's why guys have to cut the convo off and ask for the date ...within a week or two ...to weed out the attention seekers from the ones serious about meeting. Link to post Share on other sites
AD1980 Posted October 25, 2015 Share Posted October 25, 2015 (edited) To say you had a crush on a camp counselor in a joking manner is fine ...it's flirting ...not a deposition Yes you must ask questions as well as banter back and forth. You show your interest in her person my doing it ...just no rapid fire questions and try not to be too serious ... I like when guys tease in a nice way as well I told her and she said that's adorable but good thing you didn't because it would be illegal. She's giving very short answers and hasn't asked me anything..doesn't sound like she's that interested Edited October 25, 2015 by AD1980 Link to post Share on other sites
JuneJulySeptember Posted October 25, 2015 Share Posted October 25, 2015 I told her and she said that's adorable but good thing you didn't because it would be illegal. She's giving very short answers and hasn't asked me anything..doesn't sound like she's that interested Sorry about that man. It aint you. There's nothing wrong with you. Trust me. Link to post Share on other sites
AD1980 Posted October 25, 2015 Share Posted October 25, 2015 Sorry about that man. It aint you. There's nothing wrong with you. Trust me. I feel like it's me though or id have sucess by now...maybe I'm a bore or ugly or both I don't know.. Link to post Share on other sites
StBreton Posted October 25, 2015 Share Posted October 25, 2015 I told her and she said that's adorable but good thing you didn't because it would be illegal. She's giving very short answers and hasn't asked me anything..doesn't sound like she's that interested What's illegal? For a 9 yr old to think a camp counselor is cute? Sorry she's being short ... Honestly I don't understand girls in their 20s these days ...it seems like a lot of them are in relationships but a lot of guys lament they can't find a girl ...the girls are dating someone though ... I'm not convinced OLD is the right venue for the 20 somethings ...personally I'd try other outlets ... Link to post Share on other sites
StBreton Posted October 25, 2015 Share Posted October 25, 2015 I feel like it's me though or id have sucess by now...maybe I'm a bore or ugly or both I don't know.. Maybe the girls are bores Link to post Share on other sites
AD1980 Posted October 25, 2015 Share Posted October 25, 2015 What's illegal? For a 9 yr old to think a camp counselor is cute? Sorry she's being short ... Honestly I don't understand girls in their 20s these days ...it seems like a lot of them are in relationships but a lot of guys lament they can't find a girl ...the girls are dating someone though ... I'm not convinced OLD is the right venue for the 20 somethings ...personally I'd try other outlets ... I'm 35 so I'm only trying old because for one I'm shy around women and it would maybe be easier to break the ice for me and because all my friends are married with kids so I don't really have any single women in my social circle.. Link to post Share on other sites
JuneJulySeptember Posted October 25, 2015 Share Posted October 25, 2015 (edited) I feel like it's me though or id have sucess by now...maybe I'm a bore or ugly or both I don't know.. Being boring or ugly doesn't define you as a person. If you're near NY/NJ, and ever in need of a friend or shoulder, look me up. I'll be your pal. Seriously dude. Edited October 25, 2015 by JuneJulySeptember Link to post Share on other sites
AD1980 Posted October 25, 2015 Share Posted October 25, 2015 I responded how is a childhood crush illegal she said she was talking about the "pursuit and acquisition of said crush" Geez she took what I said a little too literal lol Link to post Share on other sites
StBreton Posted October 25, 2015 Share Posted October 25, 2015 I responded how is a childhood crush illegal she said she was talking about the "pursuit and acquisition of said crush" Geez she took what I said a little too literal lol Uh AD ...believe me ...no big loss on this girl ... you'd never be able to joke around with her ...you'd probably have to walk on eggshells because of her literal interpretations of things. If a guy doesn't have a well developed sense of humor ...I cut the conversation ... My personality wouldn't be compatible with theirs. There's someone better for you out there 1 Link to post Share on other sites
StBreton Posted October 25, 2015 Share Posted October 25, 2015 I'm 35 so I'm only trying old because for one I'm shy around women and it would maybe be easier to break the ice for me and because all my friends are married with kids so I don't really have any single women in my social circle.. Oh ok ...OLD is good for the 30s/40s group. Just keep trying 1 Link to post Share on other sites
JuneJulySeptember Posted October 25, 2015 Share Posted October 25, 2015 (edited) AD1980, I have one more thing to share with your from my OLD experiences, which are now considerable. When I message a woman, and the few times I get a response, I start asking her more specifically about what she likes to do to see how it matches what I like to do. I like to do almost everything: go into the city, do outdoors things (ski, hike and kayak), artsy things, music, sports, bars, cafes, etc. So, when I say I like to do X, Y, Z, AA, BB, CC, I'm never lying. I have noticed that women will never try and 'charm me' by misrepresenting themselves so to speak. For example, if I tell a woman I like cafes, sports, and hiking, she will say, "I never drink coffee, I hate sports, and I don't do outdoors things." Literally, she will. In other words, she is not concerned with trying to 'get you'. And I would say (possibly falsely) that is the attitude she takes on with all of the men that message her. But it is definitely that way with me. So ... don't stress yourself about being boring. Because in an overall sense, I have many more and varied activities and interests than most of the women that reply to me. It has NEVER been the case where a woman asks me "Do you have any interest in XXX?" and the answer was no (OK, I lied, there was one time and it was an activity that maybe 1 out of 150 guys would enjoy doing). In a sense, women are looking for a very specific peg to fit their hole (figuartively ). Of course, guys could do the same thing and cut off conversation with any woman who doesn't fit exactly what they want and I'm sure many guys do. But if guys like you and I did that, numbers dictate we would never get a single date. Which, mind you, is not the worst thing in the world. But I'm just saying this to let you know. Don't put all the burden on your own shoulders. To force yourself into further misery by blaming yourself for being boring on top of the rejection you are already facing is a tall task and one you shouldn't be burdened with. Enjoy your Sunday bro. Edited October 25, 2015 by JuneJulySeptember Link to post Share on other sites
LookAtThisPOst Posted October 25, 2015 Share Posted October 25, 2015 I get a kick out of the profiles of women that actually encourage men to contact them in certain ways. Like if you type in a certain "code" word, which would indicate you read their profile, then "that is when I'll respond." Of course they don't respond. Or the, "If you want to know anything else, just ask!" But they don't follow that up with, "But chances are, if your'e not cute, I won't answer." Or, "If you're <name of personality characteristics that are equal to mine>, then contact me" Follow that up with, "Sure, we may have the same characteristics, but if you're too short, then sorry Charlie." 1 Link to post Share on other sites
GemmaUK Posted October 25, 2015 Share Posted October 25, 2015 I get a kick out of the profiles of women that actually encourage men to contact them in certain ways. Like if you type in a certain "code" word, which would indicate you read their profile, then "that is when I'll respond." Of course they don't respond. Or the, "If you want to know anything else, just ask!" But they don't follow that up with, "But chances are, if your'e not cute, I won't answer." Or, "If you're <name of personality characteristics that are equal to mine>, then contact me" Follow that up with, "Sure, we may have the same characteristics, but if you're too short, then sorry Charlie." That's a given though. Why would anyone respond to someone if they are not at all interested in actually dating said person? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
AD1980 Posted October 25, 2015 Share Posted October 25, 2015 Maybe I'll just go to escorts since women aren't into me Link to post Share on other sites
bluefeather Posted October 26, 2015 Share Posted October 26, 2015 Maybe I'll just go to escorts since women aren't into me Please keep us posted on your experience Link to post Share on other sites
AD1980 Posted October 28, 2015 Share Posted October 28, 2015 Welp the only messages I've gotten were either too disinterested..told I was too short or not attractive enough Thank u old for destroying any self esteem I had left Link to post Share on other sites
GemmaUK Posted October 28, 2015 Share Posted October 28, 2015 Welp the only messages I've gotten were either too disinterested..told I was too short or not attractive enough Thank u old for destroying any self esteem I had left How long have you been on OLD for? I've used it several times and I think my longest was 4.5 years before I actually even got 'a date'. In hindsight I sorta wish I hadn't met the guy, but it has been a very useful learning curve - sooner rather than later IMO. Link to post Share on other sites
AD1980 Posted October 30, 2015 Share Posted October 30, 2015 How long have you been on OLD for? I've used it several times and I think my longest was 4.5 years before I actually even got 'a date'. In hindsight I sorta wish I hadn't met the guy, but it has been a very useful learning curve - sooner rather than later IMO. I've been on it a few months Link to post Share on other sites
JuneJulySeptember Posted October 31, 2015 Share Posted October 31, 2015 (edited) I've noticed something about my results on OLD and it is this. I only have a chance if a woman essentially doesn't care about looks. A woman might not want a man who is 6 inches shorter than her, a race she doesn't want, or who is a total slob in his pictures. But let's just say, you are taller height to a couple of inches shorter, she is fine with your race and you are at least neatly groomed in your pics. She doesn't care about your face, so she essentially doesn't care about looks. As long as you write a sincere message with a little bit of depth, then I think these women respond. If a woman cares at all about face, I'm DONE like a Thanksgiving turkey.. I would say that maybe 1 in 30 women are like that, don't care about face, and will wait for attraction to come. That's my estimate from messaging >200 women. That number is greater though from the from pool of women that I message. Anyway, I think some guys here are in the same situation it sounds. If you're OK with this situation I figure that's the number of women you have to message to get a response. Edited October 31, 2015 by JuneJulySeptember Link to post Share on other sites
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