AD1980 Posted October 22, 2015 Share Posted October 22, 2015 I can't explain the reactions of many of my gender ... Calling a spade a spade is fair game in my book That's cool you date woman in a large age range. I've discounted guys who are a lot younger ... Maybe I should revisit ...but my ex H of 18 yrs was 9 yrs younger and I know how that ended anyway ...love love your onion butt analogy ...too funny! Oh I haven't dated older women or anyone for that matter but I'm open to it..the quick match mutual like 52 year old I messaged never responded to me .. Link to post Share on other sites
Toodaloo Posted October 22, 2015 Share Posted October 22, 2015 This about sums up old for men http://i.imgur.com/o6snO1v.jpg http://ak-hdl.buzzfed.com/static/2014-12/18/12/enhanced/webdr07/grid-cell-17529-1418923510-8.jpg At the beginning of the year I went for a first date with a chap who said he was 6ft2. There I was looking around, thinking where the hell is he... Then I looked down... It wasn't his height that was the problem. It was the lie. One of my bosses knows him and I showed him the profile... I didn't ever see him again. My boss got him to change his height to the correct one! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Imajerk17 Posted October 22, 2015 Author Share Posted October 22, 2015 (edited) At the beginning of the year I went for a first date with a chap who said he was 6ft2. There I was looking around, thinking where the hell is he... Then I looked down... It wasn't his height that was the problem. It was the lie. One of my bosses knows him and I showed him the profile... I didn't ever see him again. My boss got him to change his height to the correct one! Sounds like in more ways than one, that first date really was short! I gotta be careful I know on here that is kind of a low blow. Whoops Edited October 22, 2015 by Imajerk17 1 Link to post Share on other sites
StBreton Posted October 22, 2015 Share Posted October 22, 2015 Sounds like in more ways than one, that first date really was short! I gotta be careful I know on here that is kind of a low blow. Whoops I love double entendres Link to post Share on other sites
AD1980 Posted October 23, 2015 Share Posted October 23, 2015 I'm so desperate I might actually put up a tank top pic..I know it's extremely cheesy but my body is the only thing physically that's halfway decent so maybe that will get my foot in the door..because my face isn't Link to post Share on other sites
ZA Dater Posted October 23, 2015 Share Posted October 23, 2015 Perhaps the biggest problem with OLD is establishing a connection using the written word, I am quite handy at writing but no matter what sort of prose I trot out on OLD it never seems to matter. What it boils down to is a set of largely superficial requirements which trump all, for the most part in person one isn't judged entirely on appearance, on OLD one is judged entirely on appearance so in my mind its probably a very harsh thing to subject oneself to. Link to post Share on other sites
LookAtThisPOst Posted October 23, 2015 Share Posted October 23, 2015 This about sums up old for men http://i.imgur.com/o6snO1v.jpg http://ak-hdl.buzzfed.com/static/2014-12/18/12/enhanced/webdr07/grid-cell-17529-1418923510-8.jpg The 2nd one, so true. LOL. I get a kick out of how they want to know facts from you, but when you come back with with one of your own...they consider you a jerk for asking. But this usually happened prior to pictures being popular online, where people mostly chatted without photos, and people would be asking such questions about their appearances. Link to post Share on other sites
impatiently_patient Posted October 23, 2015 Share Posted October 23, 2015 (edited) IP if you think you are repulsive why on earth should anyone else think otherwise. Its very unattractive to think that way and not do anything to try and change it. Your friends have a point. Its not your looks but your attitude that is the problem... Ummm... because they think I'm attractive. What's tough to conceptualize about that? ¯\(°_o)/¯ It's not like I'm the fourty year old virgin here. I've had my share of girlfriends. I still insist the real trick is finding the ones who are attracted, and not the mastery of poetry and prose. Furthermore, this comes back to to my theory that many women (and many men for that matter... I just don't deal with men in the dating arena) are garbage at communication. A big part of communication is listening. If you were good at what we're doing here (communicating) on a forum, you would have read what I said about me looking in the mirror and NOT thinking I was repulsive. I don't! I said I was functionally repulsive. This is a analytical statement, not an emotive one. This is why online dating is a good litmus test for that. Let's say I do have an attitude problem, if I've got a profile without any inkling of attitude in it, and I send messages without any attitude, and I get jack for responses: I'm repulsive. Simple as that. Like some of these guys alluded to, maybe if you're not 6' tall (I'm 5'-10" and I'm not exaggerating it like so many a dudebro), you're repulsive. My face has got nothing to do with that. Edited October 23, 2015 by impatiently_patient Link to post Share on other sites
JuneJulySeptember Posted October 24, 2015 Share Posted October 24, 2015 (edited) OK, so in keeping with trying to be as neutral and as helpful as I can, here is an OLD update. Quick and dirty. Using Jerk's updated profile and messages 'in the style of Jerk' I got 1 response out of 8 messages sent. That is slightly better than my normal 1 out of 10 or 13 or 15 or so, but remember there's some variability. Sometimes I'll get 2 replies out of 10 sent, and other times, like 30 without a response. We messaged 4 or 5 back and then I asked for her phone number. No response yet. Here's the part where those people on 'Team A' say "We'll you did X, Y, Z and BB wrong." Please don't. Sincerity and honesty and neutrality. Those are what help people. In any case, I'm right back where I started with another several rejections to my name. So, honestly, no real loss. Go ahead, try new things, it won't hurt. Except ... I will say sincerely that OLD is a time suck. I spent hours at work adjusting my profile and sending catered messages, and what happened was that I had to work OT to make up for it, and missed a volunteering appointment. So, dating made the world a worse place technically, Lol. Anyhoo, if your results aren't promising, you might want to rethink how much time and effort you put into it. Reporting from Square One and signing off. Edited October 24, 2015 by JuneJulySeptember Link to post Share on other sites
LookAtThisPOst Posted October 24, 2015 Share Posted October 24, 2015 (edited) JJS, I am thinking you may want to start a new thread for this...as I'm interested in knowing in how this style will turn out... We messaged 4 or 5 back and then I asked for her phone number. No response yet. Here's the part where those people on 'Team A' say "We'll you did X, Y, Z and BB wrong." Please don't.Agreed...so many people will ask you some particulars, then will pick it apart with, "Well, you did, this...this...and this...wrong. You should have done...this, this, and this." And usually the, "this, this, and this" comments that are way out there in left field or totally unrelated or has nothing to do with the price of tea in China or leads into full circle of a "damned if you do/ damned if you don't" thing. This of course will lead into red herring comments and detract from the experiment. Edited October 24, 2015 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Superfluous Link to post Share on other sites
AD1980 Posted October 24, 2015 Share Posted October 24, 2015 I've gotten about 13 likes on quickmatch in the past week on okcupid but no responses when I message them..so weird Does that mean they liked my looks or profile but not the message I sent? Found somebody better looking? This old is so confusing and frustrating Link to post Share on other sites
LookAtThisPOst Posted October 24, 2015 Share Posted October 24, 2015 A lot of women I come across seem to mostly browsing and not really have any intention of meeting face-to-face...so that's another issue, as a lot of them aren't taking online dating seriously. I actually had a couple of female friends I know in real life that has admitted to this when I would ask them, "So how is the online dating thing going", and they are like "Meh, I'm not really taking it too seriously, not meeting anyone that strikes my fancy...but...not taking it seriously...just kind of looking around." They are making a face as if online dating isn't even their cup of tea, even shortly after signing up. With all the emails that fill their inboxes...it's too overwhelming for some of them to even deal with that it becomes a 2nd job to them. There's a certain bias against online dating by a lot of women I believe, or some use it as a ego support system as I've come to know a woman who has admitted to such. Link to post Share on other sites
StBreton Posted October 24, 2015 Share Posted October 24, 2015 I've missed a few pages of this thread so apologize if this has been brought up Guys ...do not ask a girl for her phone number. Give her your number so she has the option of calling you using the *67 so it doesn't show her number. Also ... I too would like to see some message exchanges of the people who aren't having any luck as Jerk suggested. I posted a message exchange earlier in this thread. Maybe start a new thread for this? I don't have any dud message exchanges left on my profile but as I posted earlier ...there is an issue with guys not advancing the conversation /asking questions ...and this from guys who on paper look really good. I don't know if it's because they feel like they are such a catch they don't have to put in the work ...like "come chase me girls" or they're just oblivious or they lack social skills... In any case ...I just hit next ...not into banging my head on the wall or psychoanalyzing them. Link to post Share on other sites
LookAtThisPOst Posted October 24, 2015 Share Posted October 24, 2015 (edited) I kind of compare it to people who are continuously going after more money. Everybody wants more $ at their job. WHY do you want more $? So you can have more things? Will those things make you happier? Right, I mean, when you die, there's no U-Haul hitched to the back of the Herse. lol Guys ...do not ask a girl for her phone number. Though, this is advice...this is just an opinion. I mean you could to this, but I've heard countless women that say they don't believe in calling a man, EVEN when a # is given to them. They feel it's the man's role to do so, and I'm looking for a woman that's okay with this. As I'm a traditional gentleman. So this advice cannot apply to all women. It's just a "spin" on the traditional means of doing so, but nothing more. I've heard working, too. But, like I said, everybody's different. Edited October 24, 2015 by LookAtThisPOst Link to post Share on other sites
StBreton Posted October 24, 2015 Share Posted October 24, 2015 Right, I mean, when you die, there's no U-Haul hitched to the back of the Herse. lol Though, this is advice...this is just an opinion. I mean you could to this, but I've heard countless women that say they don't believe in calling a man, EVEN when a # is given to them. They feel it's the man's role to do so, and I'm looking for a woman that's okay with this. As I'm a traditional gentleman. So this advice cannot apply to all women. It's just a "spin" on the traditional means of doing so, but nothing more. I've heard working, too. But, like I said, everybody's different. Ahh ...ok well then ask the girl what she prefers/is more comfortable with ...giving her number to you or getting her number and you calling. I'm pretty traditional but prefer a guy gives me his number and I can do the *67 thing ...I'm pretty cautious like that Link to post Share on other sites
William Posted October 24, 2015 Share Posted October 24, 2015 As a reminder, postings are to focus on content, here first e-mails that get responses. Keep those ideas coming. Thanks! Due to having to clean up some language and off-topic excursions into off-forum interactions, I'll bump this prior advisory up to a directive. Please focus on the topic and make liberal use of our private message system to discuss personal stuff and keep the language clean and in line with our new policy on individual and group berating as outlined in the announcement at the top of this forum. Thanks! Link to post Share on other sites
AD1980 Posted October 24, 2015 Share Posted October 24, 2015 (edited) Finally got a response back..it was short..she laughed at joking question asking her what she was doing in a pic and said neither and that she was running a race. Where do I take it from now? Ask anything personal yet? Just build off the response? Edited October 24, 2015 by AD1980 Link to post Share on other sites
StBreton Posted October 24, 2015 Share Posted October 24, 2015 Finally got a response back..it was short..she laughed at joking question asking her what she was doing in a pic and said neither and that she was running a race. Where do I take it from now? Ask anything personal yet? Just build off the response? Make a comment that ties into her response ...short but fun. Then ask her about something you noted in her profile. Something special in her profile I wouldn't turn it into a comedy routine ...you're building a romantic rapport Link to post Share on other sites
AD1980 Posted October 24, 2015 Share Posted October 24, 2015 Make a comment that ties into her response ...short but fun. Then ask her about something you noted in her profile. Something special in her profile I wouldn't turn it into a comedy routine ...you're building a romantic rapport Tnanks! Just trying not to f this up lol Link to post Share on other sites
StBreton Posted October 24, 2015 Share Posted October 24, 2015 (edited) Tnanks! Just trying not to f this up lol She won't turn away if it's the right one:) Initiate and engage ...and always be the gentleman ...I like mine with a bit of an edge though ...most girls don't like a pushover so don't be afraid to ask for the date! At the risk of getting pummeled for this ...if you like each other when meeting ...pay for her lunch /dinner. Would you feel comfortable posting your messages here? For others having issues? Edited October 24, 2015 by StBreton Link to post Share on other sites
AD1980 Posted October 24, 2015 Share Posted October 24, 2015 She won't turn away if it's the right one:) Initiate and engage ...and always be the gentleman ...I like mine with a bit of an edge though ...most girls don't like a pushover so don't be afraid to ask for the date! Would you feel comfortable posting your messages here? For others having issues? Well let's see if it works first then I will lol I see she works with kids would telling her how I admire that and how selfless it is be decent? As far as asking for a date shouldn't i wait till we're messaging a few days? Link to post Share on other sites
StBreton Posted October 24, 2015 Share Posted October 24, 2015 (edited) Well let's see if it works first then I will lol I see she works with kids would telling her how I admire that and how selfless it is be decent? That's laying it on too thick ...I'd just say "wow I really admire that" Then you could comment how you were in love with your 3rd grade teacher and compliment her by saying you would have liked a 3rd grade teacher like her ... Light flirting So I actually have a tutoring business ...mostly chemistry ...lots of guys play with that one by saying "I could use some lessons in chemistry" lol. Actually I think it's pretty cute and that's why I recommend the above ...flirting without being offensive Absolutley wait a few days ...build a little rapport/fun banter on messages ...then ask if she'd feel comfortable talking on the phone ...then ask for date if all goes well Edited October 24, 2015 by StBreton 1 Link to post Share on other sites
AD1980 Posted October 24, 2015 Share Posted October 24, 2015 (edited) That's laying it on too thick ...I'd just say "wow I really admire that" Then you could comment how you were in love with your 3rd grade teacher and compliment her by saying you would have liked a 3rd grade teacher like her ... Light flirting So I actually have a tutoring business ...mostly chemistry ...lots of guys play with that one by saying "I could use some lessons in chemistry" lol. Actually I think it's pretty cute and that's why I recommend the above ...flirting without being offensive Absolutley wait a few days ...build a little rapport/fun banter on messages ...then ask if she'd feel comfortable talking on the phone ...then ask for date if all goes well Thanks I appreciate it.. Also I think she works with kids at a camp not a teacher should I lie and say I had a crush on a camp counselor? Lol And should I ask something that is in question form so she has something to answer or just make a light hearted flirty statement and see where she goes with it? Edited October 24, 2015 by AD1980 Men Link to post Share on other sites
jay1983 Posted October 24, 2015 Share Posted October 24, 2015 Getting likes and responses is easy, I get a lot of attention on dating sites. The problem is most just use the site to chat and window shop while they enjoy the attention. They're very flaky and you have to put a lot of time in and be really patient due to the amount of attention whores. I met 2 really nice girls the last time around, but it's really not worth the amount of time you invest and the crap you go through just to meet 1 or 2 gals and then see if compatibility comes into play. I usually activate my account for about a couple of weeks before I shut it back off. Link to post Share on other sites
StBreton Posted October 24, 2015 Share Posted October 24, 2015 Thanks I appreciate it.. Also I think she works with kids at a camp not a teacher should I lie and say I had a crush on a camp counselor? Lol And should I ask something that is in question form so she has something to answer or just make a light hearted flirty statement and see where she goes with it? To say you had a crush on a camp counselor in a joking manner is fine ...it's flirting ...not a deposition Yes you must ask questions as well as banter back and forth. You show your interest in her person my doing it ...just no rapid fire questions and try not to be too serious ... I like when guys tease in a nice way as well Link to post Share on other sites
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