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Women choose a guy who reminds them of their dad...

Guyouthere

By Guyouthere
in General Relationship Discussion

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Guyouthere Established Member

Guyouthere

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I have heard it said that many women will choose a guy who most closely resembles her dad in both looks and personality (even in the case of an abusive dad).

 

Of course not all follow this protocol, but how many of you believe most do?

 

Any ideas?

RoseWater Established Member

RoseWater

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I can't help thinking that is really weird

RecentChange Established Member

RecentChange

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I am somewhat guilty of this.

 

He doesn't really look like my dad - but personality wise, pretty close. They have a lot of the same interest, similar temperament (both can be hot heads) - he reminds me of my dad in ways.

 

Now my dad wasn't abusive, he is a wonderful, caring, attentive, yet stern and demanding. He taught me about self worth and hard work.... He is someone I admire, so I don't mind at all that my guy shares common traits.

LostOnes05 Established Member

LostOnes05

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What if they grew up without a father?

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Guyouthere Established Member

Guyouthere

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I can't help thinking that is really weird

 

I know for a fact my ex wife's dad was very similar to me in his disposition, and even looks (although I am very tall).

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Guyouthere Established Member

Guyouthere

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What if they grew up without a father?

 

Good question,, that could be answered by someone in that situation (if they choose to).

 

I believe it is all about role models.

 

After all, the first guy a girl is exposed to most often is her dad, so there is a certain amount of entrainment of qualities that goes into her personality formation.

sin miedo Established Member

sin miedo

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Kind of analogous, but my GF reminds me of my mom in certain ways. I'm actually OK with it because my mom is a pretty awesome person and I recognize that in reality they are two completely different people.

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Guyouthere Established Member

Guyouthere

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Kind of analogous, but my GF reminds me of my mom in certain ways. I'm actually OK with it because my mom is a pretty awesome person and I recognize that in reality they are two completely different people.

 

Yes, I believe that true as well…. but I think guys have less of an attraction as a whole to women who remind them of their mom.

 

There must be a biological basis to these observations. :)

TunaCat Established Member

TunaCat

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I don't buy into that crap at all.

 

I don't have much dating experience, but I'm not attracted to guys who are like my bio dad or my ex stepdad. Both of them were addicts in some form & they were abusive men. Which is why certain behaviors are deal-breakers to me.

 

I would go out of my way to AVOID these types of guys.

 

The closest male member of the family to me is my uncle and while we get along well, we have completely different political & religious viewpoints.

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Guyouthere Established Member

Guyouthere

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Of course there are good reasons why a woman would feel the way you do, and very rightly so.

 

But overall we are talking about "normal" men…. the non abusive ones, etc.

autumnnight Established Member

autumnnight

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Kind of analogous, but my GF reminds me of my mom in certain ways. I'm actually OK with it because my mom is a pretty awesome person and I recognize that in reality they are two completely different people.

 

I have a great dad. I was kind of a daddy's girl, and he was just awesome. My mom is great too, don't get me wrong, but Dad was a very attentive, kind, strong, fun, good dad.

 

The man I married is not much like my dad at all. I probably would have fared better if I HAD chosen someone more like him.

xxoo Established Member

xxoo

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My husband is exactly like my dad in terms of "type of husband and father". Very loyal, strong, and protective.

 

The details are different as far as looks, personality, hobbies (although they both are into motorcycles).

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seekingluck Established Member

seekingluck

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I am somewhat guilty of this.

 

He doesn't really look like my dad - but personality wise, pretty close. They have a lot of the same interest, similar temperament (both can be hot heads) - he reminds me of my dad in ways.

 

Now my dad wasn't abusive, he is a wonderful, caring, attentive, yet stern and demanding. He taught me about self worth and hard work.... He is someone I admire, so I don't mind at all that my guy shares common traits.

 

I totally do not do this intentionally but same for me! My dad is also a good guy!

 

I am crushing hard right now on someone, where if I scratch the surface is quite a but like my dad. So weird.

 

I guess our relationship role models are unconsciously the ones we see. I am so much like my mom on so many levels. Good and bad.

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Guyouthere Established Member

Guyouthere

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I totally do not do this intentionally but same for me! My dad is also a good guy!

 

I am crushing hard right now on someone, where if I scratch the surface is quite a but like my dad. So weird.

 

I guess our relationship role models are unconsciously the ones we see. I am so much like my mom on so many levels. Good and bad.

 

Crushing hard….

 

You should not sit on him, he needs to breathe. hehehe ;)

henderson14 Established Member

henderson14

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I've noticed that. Dad and brothers. I tend to gravitate to girls that have characteristics like my mom.

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thecrucible Established Member

thecrucible

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I think that's weird. I've often gone for guy who are quite the opposite of my dad. That would just be disturbing to me.

bluefeather Established Member

bluefeather

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It's true. I wouldn't say it's true for everyone, but it does happen. Same with boys who look for their mothers. It's not weird. It's just looking for what is familiar. I believe it is subconscious. We don't know we are looking for these types, we just become attracted to someone else when they express characteristics that can be related to someone we deeply love, and that is usually a parent.

 

Where do you think the phrase, "who's your daddy?" comes from?

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fitnessfan365 Established Member

fitnessfan365

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So there is something Freudian about a woman calling a guy daddy in the bedroom. :D

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seekingluck Established Member

seekingluck

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Crushing hard….

 

You should not sit on him, he needs to breathe. hehehe ;)

 

Hehe! If I am not misreading him, he might be too. But the tricky thing is he lives far and we actually haven't really gone out yet. Hopefully that'll change soon, either he visits me or I visit him. He is a excited about going out somewhere, and I am too! For now we chat or text every couple of days.

thecrucible Established Member

thecrucible

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As I said, I still don't think this is true. I've worked to repair my relationship with my father as we have never really seen eye to eye. Whether it's true or not, I never felt like I had enough affection from him. So I actively look for guys who are more outgoing and demonstrative than my dad was. It's makes me quite demanding of men in relationships and I always seek positive affirmations of their affection for me.

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Guyouthere Established Member

Guyouthere

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Hehe! If I am not misreading him, he might be too. But the tricky thing is he lives far and we actually haven't really gone out yet. Hopefully that'll change soon, either he visits me or I visit him. He is a excited about going out somewhere, and I am too! For now we chat or text every couple of days.

 

well thats good, i wish you the best.

 

may he be as good of a guy as i am

 

hehehe ;)

alphamale Established Member

alphamale

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I have heard it said that many women will choose a guy who most closely resembles her dad in both looks and personality (even in the case of an abusive dad).

 

Of course not all follow this protocol, but how many of you believe most do?

 

Any ideas?

no I think this is just hooey

todreaminblue Established Member

todreaminblue

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i go for the opposite......more like my grandfather than my father...either of my fathers...... i have two...i would rather drink bleach than be with a version of my fathers..in fact i think i would die........deb

Krieger Established Member

Krieger

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What if they grew up without a father?

 

They date older men old enought to be there dad to fill the void of not having a father

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