Women choose a guy who reminds them of their dad...

[newmoon]

in my own choices, it's true. not at all in looks, but their character traits for sure.

[bluefeather]

They date older men old enought to be there dad to fill the void of not having a father

 

That's a good answer to the question I was wondering about, and it makes a lot of sense. Thanks.

[jam.over.jelly]

Ahhh, if I were to look for someone like my dad, I'd end up alone for the rest of my life. He's one of a kind.

[kilgore]

Ahhh, if I were to look for someone like my dad, I'd end up alone for the rest of my life. He's one of a kind.

 

That is sweet but sad but mostly sweet

[jam.over.jelly]

That is sweet but sad but mostly sweet

 

I'd hope to one day find someone half as kind and devoted to his loved ones as my dad is.

[kilgore]

I'd hope to one day find someone half as kind and devoted to his loved ones as my dad is.

 

You will; just give it time

[Krieger]

That's a good answer to the question I was wondering about, and it makes a lot of sense. Thanks.

 

No problem.

 

Young girls get through what is called Electra complex.

Girl's need there father just as much if not more in there life.

 

After all a girls father is the model for manhood his daughter is likely to look for when she starts to date.

 

From infancy, girls draw conclusions about what men are like from the men in their life. If there is a father (or a male in her life who takes a father role), that man becomes her guidepost for what to expect of men and what to expect of men’s attitude toward women. His relationship to her mother or his significant other is her template for what her relationship with a man will be when she grows up.

 

That being said a father to a toung girl is more of a guide what to expect and how men need to treat you.

 

There is a saying that fathers be good to your daughters . Daughters will love like you do.

 

It is because of my dad i am going to be the father I never had to my children.

[Nikki Sahagin]

On the flip side, this reminds me of my cousin whose ex gf who he was with for 5 years looked EXACTLY like his mum when she was young.

 

My dad has black hair and light brown eyes and I prefer this combination in men. My mum is blonde and blue eyed and my brother prefers blonde, blue-eyed women.

 

Kind of creepy if it is true though....bit yukky.

[Toodaloo]

NO. Just NO.

 

Love my Poppa to bits and really appreciate everything he has done for me, but I could not ever live with a man like him. Nearly killed each other on several occasions when we were living together.

 

Sweet Love of God NO.

 

*shudder*

[Nikki Sahagin]

No problem.

 

Young girls get through what is called Electra complex.

Girl's need there father just as much if not more in there life.

 

After all a girls father is the model for manhood his daughter is likely to look for when she starts to date.

 

From infancy, girls draw conclusions about what men are like from the men in their life. If there is a father (or a male in her life who takes a father role), that man becomes her guidepost for what to expect of men and what to expect of men’s attitude toward women. His relationship to her mother or his significant other is her template for what her relationship with a man will be when she grows up.

 

That being said a father to a toung girl is more of a guide what to expect and how men need to treat you.

 

There is a saying that fathers be good to your daughters . Daughters will love like you do.

 

It is because of my dad i am going to be the father I never had to my children.

 

I think this is very true because my dad is the type who is very loving but quietly so. He has always bought me presents but never said he loved me. He is quite a distant father.

 

I grew up very independent because I learnt not to lean on him but inside I was emotionally needy. I've never chased after men with neediness but with a partner I NEED/WANT someone who is affectionate, emotional, demonstrative because my father never was and it drove me mad as a kid when I just wanted a hug and to be told 'I love you.'

[2.50 a gallon]

My ExW did this and I did not figure this out until years later

 

When we met I was a major partier. During the week I would go to work at 6, get off at 1:30, be home and in the pool drinking a couple of cool ones, catch some rays, and a couple winks, by 5 when everybody else was just getting off from work, I was grabbing a bite. showering and getting r eady to hit the bars by 7 - 8.

If I was not going out that night, I would be firing up the grill, drinking a couple of brews and enjoying life, entertaining friends and neighbors. I had lots of friends, especially female.

I was 32 when I met my ex, she was just 18, and her mom had just moved her and her siblings across county from their alcoholic father.

Also a partier and a womanizer.

Fifteen minutes after we met she followed me back to my apartment and propositioned me.

I told her no, she was too young and a college drop out loser.

She was total foldout material, and was used to getting her way with any man she met. Except for me and her father.

Within a week she was back knocking on my door and telling me she had signed up for college.

She pursued me for the next 3 years while she got her college degree. When I finally gave in and married her. She had been screwing my brains out for years, any where, any time, any way. My thinking was if you have to chose just one for the rest of your life, why not pick the hottest sexiest one available.

Six month later I caught her cheating. I turned my back and walked away.

A month later when she figured out that I had spent the night with another woman, it was then she did a 180 and was desperate to get me back

Edited October 20, 2015 by 2.50 a gallon

[xxoo]

For those saying it's gross, I don't think it's so much that we actively look for partners who remind us of our fathers (I certainly didn't).

 

It's more that, subconsciously, we are drawn toward the relationship dynamics we saw modeled as a child--or sometimes, in the case of an absent father, what me missed as a child.

 

It's one of the reasons many people find themselves repeating relationship patterns, for better or for worse. It has as much to do with the people we grew up to be and who is drawn to us, as well.

[salparadise]

For those saying it's gross, I don't think it's so much that we actively look for partners who remind us of our fathers (I certainly didn't).

 

It's more that, subconsciously, we are drawn toward the relationship dynamics we saw modeled as a child--or sometimes, in the case of an absent father, what me missed as a child.

 

It's one of the reasons many people find themselves repeating relationship patterns, for better or for worse. It has as much to do with the people we grew up to be and who is drawn to us, as well.

 

Yup. You nailed it.

 

Harville Hendriks calls it the Imago... a composite image based on our early relationships––usually the parents. It involves the style of attachment, acceptance, nurturing more than appearance, although that's probably a factor too.

 

The theory is that we split off parts of ourselves as necessary to receive love and acceptance, and the rest of our lives are spent trying to reunite with those aspects. We choose a mate who we believe (subconsciously) will be able to provide that... and who is more likely to grant what we need than the person for whom we gave it up originally, and who met all of our other needs and helped shape our perception of self... and everything?

[Got it]

For those saying it's gross, I don't think it's so much that we actively look for partners who remind us of our fathers (I certainly didn't).

 

It's more that, subconsciously, we are drawn toward the relationship dynamics we saw modeled as a child--or sometimes, in the case of an absent father, what me missed as a child.

 

It's one of the reasons many people find themselves repeating relationship patterns, for better or for worse. It has as much to do with the people we grew up to be and who is drawn to us, as well.

 

Slightly different, but my first husband was very similar to my mom and I realized some years in that I married my mom. The aspects of her I didn't like were evident in my (ex) husband but I was continuing the pattern as I had acquired attributes like my father and felt more aligned with his mannerisms/thinking that I ever have with her.

 

My current husband is a mixture of attributes of either parent. He is more like my father in dominant personality but has a better balance and none of the bullying aspects my father can have.

 

He is more of the best parts of them. I am now more like my father though tempered. It is also why I am the one that he will back down to as my temper and debating skills rival his.

 

We absolutely repeat childhood patterns if we aren't conscious of them. Sometimes they are great patterns to repeat, sometimes they are bad. We need to make sure we are self analyzing so we understand why we do what we do and why we form the relationships that we do.