Will my boyfriend ever open up about his fathers suicide?

[Genie1]

I've been with my boy for just over 1 year now. We've had our ups and downs like every relationship! But very much in love. He is moving into my house with me at the end of November and we are both really excited.

 

However there is something niggling in my mind. When we first started dating, I did the whole "asking him about family" and he mentioned very briefly "oh, my dad is dead". And I asked "what happened?" (Genuinely expecting him to say he passed away due to an illness), but he came out with "he killed himself when I was 7".

 

Then silence.

 

This was a year ago when we hardly knew each other and I think about it an awful lot.

 

I know guys don't like to chat about deep stuff as much as girls. But we talk about our future together and kids together an awful lot. But in the back of my mind I am dying to ask him about his dad, how he feels, was he affected etc.....?

 

Do you people think that in 'time' he may open up and will tell me all? Obviously if we are going to spend our long life's together, it's surely got to come out at some point or another?

 

Should I not ask? Should I just keep quiet and wait for him to talk to me about it? It's a tough subject.

[gaius]

You might as well just ask him about it if you're really that curious. A lot of guys don't have a strong urge to talk about bad stuff like that so it might never come up unless you take it there.

[basil67]

He may not open up about it ever. Many guys don't share about deep emotions like the average girl does.

 

If you want to ask him then ask him. But be prepared for the fact that he may not want to talk about it.

[d0nnivain]

Don't ask. Probing into what is probably one of the most painful things in his life is almost cruel. If he wants to talk to you, in time he will. Unless he starts the conversation, this is a part of his life that you have to accept is off limits to you.

 

 

My EX took his own life. His son talks about his father's death to people who where there are at time. He doesn't really talk about his father at all to "new" people.

 

 

While you & your guy are building something solid, you have to respect the fact that part of your BF's coping for now is to lock away all of the mixed up emotions he most likely has about his father's death. Even if you are asking out of love & concern, don't.