i have a BIG thing for my teacher.. among other problems.

[meiscreative]

this is a little long, but i think all of it is necessary; if you get bored just skim through it.

 

i’m 15 years old, a female, and according 99% of everyone i meet: very mature for my age. my first boyfriend, when i was 12, was 16. my second boyfriend, 3 months later and after my 13th birthday, was 19. i can safely say that i dont like guys my age, but rather more mature and experienced guys. my maturity level and personal interests/hobbies lie in sync with guys almost twice my age!

 

in 8th grade, i had a crush on my geography teacher that didnt really get any further than me wanting a friendly “good-luck-for-the-summer-i-wont-see-you-next-year” hug from him.

 

however, this year (10th grade), i have feelings for my geometry teacher. i say feelings, not a crush, because i’ve never felt this way before. i’ve crushed plenty of times in my life, and this feeling is way too strong to just be a crush.

 

i knew i had a thing for him around last October, but i havent really come to terms with it until about a month and a half ago, when i told my best friend. she thought it was cute and adorable and teases me mercilessly about it (which i dont mind, as long as she says nothing to no one else), but after i admitted it, it was hard to be around him cause i was constantly blushing and stuttering.

 

it gets really complicated and hard to explain, but this part is important so bare with me...

 

my friend who i told this secret to decided to invite my geometry teacher to sit and have lunch with us one day. he was listening to all of us talk to eachother, and me and my friend Chris starting mock-arguing with eachother. we were throwing food at eachother when my teacher, who was sitting next to Chris, said “don’t mess with her.” i asked him why, and he told my friend, again, “just dont mess with her.” i looked at him and he tells Chris “she thinks she’s cool ever since she started wearing paper-clip necklaces.” we all knew he was joking, but after lunch it really seemed to me like he was flirting. maybe its just hope, but thats what it seemed like.

 

ever since then, little things have begun to make me wonder if he's flirting with me.

 

2 weeks ago, i had a really big arguement with another student over something that happened the previous day and was brought up again by the immature boys in the class. she started screaming at me and i just told her to drop it; it was over in a few minutes, but when the bell rang, my geometry teacher dismissed everyone but me. he sat down and my table and (while i was trying really hard not to blush) explained what the arguement was about and told him that it was about something childish and it should be dropped; i thought i was going to get a detention or something, but my teacher said "she's just angry because you were picked for the program and she wasn't. she's too immature about things and i want to thank you for dropping the subject; that was very mature of you." and he dismissed me. needless to say, i was really pleased with myself, but i was still wondering whether he was flirting or just being nice.

 

now, last week, we had a dress-up day at school for students of the aforementioned program i was chosen for. the induction ceremony was taking place in school and my geometry teacher, who is the 10th grade advisor, was presenting our awards.

 

my two friends, one of which were also being inducted, decided to go and hang out in my geometry teachers lounge/office room instead of going to 1st/2nd period because there was a computer, loungechair, and a phone. i didnt object because we would be around my geometry teacher and he didnt care anyhow, as we were helping him set up for the ceremony.

 

for the first time ever in school, i was wearing a really nice outfit; a skirt, a nice blouse, and high heels. one of my guy friends made a comment about how “great i looked” and asked my teacher if i looked nice, who replied “she always looks great.” i know i could be blowing this way out of proportion (because my guy friend basically put him on the spot), but was that a real copmliment or was he just being polite?

 

in the past 2 weeks, i’ve done really good in math class. the teacher is my motivation to learn; i dont want him to think i’m a ditz, so i’ve become more participant during class and i do more than is asked for my homework, which i think helps me stick out.

 

now, my geometry teacher.... he's not married (because there's no ring and he mentioned a girlfriend, not a wife) but i know he's got daughters who are in college. he's somewhere between the ages of 35 and 42 and we're on the same level of maturity, humor, and i find him extremely attractive in so many different ways.

 

i’ve done my research on students who have feelings (mostly referred to as crushes) on their instructors... majority of them say that the feelings usually aren’t anything but a crush. to quote one of them:

Sometimes I imagine spending a romantic evening with them, but I get stuck on the kissing part. I just can't picture gettin' freaky with my profs. The whole age difference throws things a bit off. Running my fingers through my teacher's gray hair? Hmmm … not a turn on.

 

i get as far as the kissing part... sometimes a little further

 

 

 

i know there are some loose ends to this post.. i'm think i might be forgetting some things, but i'll post when i remember. thanks to anyone who takes their time to read and post comments; i appreciate it, i really do.

 

any personal thoughts or comments on my situation, what i'm doing, or what my teachers doing: please share. i could use all the help anyone is willing to supply me with. i'm really confused and i feel that i need some serious help, psychological or no.

 

thank you, and sorry for all the confusion. my mind is like mush right now.

 

-meiscreative

 

ps: the site i got the quote from: http://www.macalester.edu/weekly/112202/features1.html

[Merin]

Your Teacher is 1) Way to old for you 2) Not available to you on that level and 3) In a position of trust

 

You are a Minor, like it or not you're a Child and he's an adult..

 

IMO there is zero indication that your Teacher is flirting with you, and I'm not at all trying to be mean here but the 2 of you are NOT on the same maturity level...

[BrotherAaron]

It's easy, when you're 15, to imagine that you can be on the same maturity level as an adult. I'm only 20, and I can tell you that I live in an entirely different world than I did when I was 15. Getting older and more mature is nothing that you can comprehend until you experience it. You are younger than this man's children. It's very unlikely he'd even consider having any kind of a romantic relationship with you. Besides, a student-teacher relationship is a legal nightmare that, believe me, you don't want to be involved with. You can't help having a crush, but stop entertaining the notion that you might somehow work this into more. It's becoming an obsession.

[westernxer]

You definitely have an attraction to men of authority.

 

Write us back when you're in college... should have no problem finding a professor willing date his students (especially if you need a good grade).

[moimeme]

Ever heard of Mary Kay Letourneau? Because you are only 15 you don't understand how mature you aren't. The only way this man will jeopardize his entire career for a fling with you will be if he suffers from the same sort of ailment that Ms. Letourneau suffers. And then he'll end up in jail, too.

[HoldOn]

we were throwing food at eachother when my teacher, who was sitting next to Chris, said “don’t mess with her.”

 

Mature adults don't have food fights. Sorry, hun, but you are not as mature as you think you are. Also, it sounds like he is just doing his job.

 

It's okay to have a crush on your teacher, but don't fool yourself into thinking that anything is going to happen. It won't, and even if it did it would ruin your life in ways you can't think of now. think about shame, jail, embarrassment and all the bad things that would happen.

[whichwayisup]

I agree with everybody else on this thread...You're too young and he's 1) A teacher - A figure of AUTHORITY - So therefore, a BIG no-no. 2) His age, your age. You may think of yourself as mature and old enough to handle life. I thought I was "IT" at 15, 16, 17, etc...NOONE could tell me wrong and I though I knew it all! Maturity, grown up, responsible etc..Yeah right! Looking back now (I'm 34) I know I didn't have a CLUE.

 

It's normal for young teens to feel the way you do. Honestly, you DO have a crush. Crushes feel different depending on who it is you have the crush on! I had tons of crushes on some male teachers when I was younger and one of them I adored. I was emotionally attached to him, sexually attractive to him. Felt like love but it wasn't. Crushes are normal until they consume your life - Sounds like you are thinking of him waaay too much and you're gonna miss the boat if you continue down this road.

[meiscreative]

Thanks for replying.. and I realize that I'm replying very late .. but it was only because of my embarassment (and Merin's hard-ass persona in her post that made me feel 3 inches tall)

 

I understand now that what I was experiencnig was just a crush.. My teacher knows (thanks to a friend who decided that she had to "accidentally" let it slip), but thankfully he was flattered and not freaked out, and somehow it makes me a little less uncomfortable around him that he knows.

 

I don't really know what else to say.. I still feel pretty stupid about the whole thing...

 

 

A little tip for anyone who comes across this with a future post: Try to be nice.. I got a little discouraged (for lack of a better term) and felt like an ass when it came to Merin and HoldOn's post, and it wasn't only because they were right. I was basically pouring my heart out and I was just trying to explain how I felt and what I thought was going on to the best of my ability and I became a little embarassed when people posted with attitudes.

 

 

Thanks again.

[moimeme]

I don't really know what else to say.. I still feel pretty stupid about the whole thing...

 

Nothing to feel stupid about. Like everyone said, it's completely normal. I doubt there's a hetero female alive who never had a crush on a teacher. That's how we can all relate. Hopefully, what you learned is that when folks older than you tell you stuff like 'you still have a long way to go before you're mature' and 'this is just a crush', there might actually be a grain of truth to it

[mutton]

Sure, you may be mature for a fifteen-year-old, but a twenty-plus-year old will still be more mature than you. I'm glad that you realize what you're feeling for your professor is only a crush. Whatever happens, just make sure that it stays that way, innocently.