Riptide91 Posted October 20, 2015 Share Posted October 20, 2015 I have been in a LDR for a couple months and it is a new experience for me. I really fell for this girl after being single for around 10 months when my ex gf of a long time left me. Anyways, I find LDR to be extremely difficult but at the same time I'm willing to try to make it work because of the connection we have. Most times it is good but lately there seems to be something off and I'm not sure if it's me or her. We text each other every day and call or video chat about every night but lately it seems that one of us is not up to talking or is rushed. Also I feel a lot of times that our relationship is growing stale, even if it's not I believe this thought comes from being left by my ex and worried that I'll get hurt again. It's only the times we are apart I feel this way, as when we're together our relationship blooms and we can't be kept away from each other. Sometimes I think I'm just overthinking and everything is fine but I can't be sure. Is this normal in a LDR? What else should I expect? We're hoping this isn't a long term situation but we'll have to see. I'm not ready to give up. What are some tips to keeping things alive since we're hours away from each other. Thanks all. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted October 21, 2015 Share Posted October 21, 2015 Make sure you get to see each other periodically so you always have something to look forward to. When is the distance expected to end? If there is no foreseeable point when you can be together, why are you pursing this? My EX & I used to send each other small gifts -- cheap souvenirs -- if one of us did something out of the ordinary. Also use snail mail to augment your electronic communications. Having a tangible letter can be nice. Link to post Share on other sites
Michelle ma Belle Posted October 21, 2015 Share Posted October 21, 2015 I was in a LDR for 3 years and you're right, it is challenging and as I've said a hundred times on her already, it's not for the weak. What you're experiencing is pretty normal. Being apart can be very frustrating especially when you have that kind of physical connection you speak of. My relationship was the same way. We hated having to say goodbye every time we had to be separated and it would sometimes take days to recover as the absence set in and knowing it would be another several weeks until we'd be together again. Apart from making sure you get periodic visits (very important), what worked for us is a kind of schedule. I hate to use that word because it sounds so clinical and cold when it couldn't have been further from that. You sound like you have something like that already which is good. Staying connected daily is pretty important. Not all chats or communication will be a marathon session or life changing and that's okay, that's very normal. Being tired or distracted, busy or stressed, etc., is all part of daily life. Half the battle is realizing this and being understanding when those moment occur. At the same time, honesty is key and so is trust. But above all else is communication. Communication is paramount in any good relationship but especially with LDR because all you have are the words you share with one another. If you're feeling like something is off in your relationship talk to her about it. Ask what she needs. Tell her what you want. The key is having a partner whose on the same page with you. Understanding that it's difficult and there will be good days and not so good days but that you're both committed to making it work is critical. LDR are no different than any other relationship in that it takes two people to make it work daily. Good luck. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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