StBreton Posted October 25, 2015 Share Posted October 25, 2015 I don't want a divorce at all. I come from a broken family and we have a 4 year old son together. I just wish that I wasn't the person he takes his anger out on. I wish that he could talk to me without all of the cussing and yelling. When he cusses and yells ... Calmly say you love him and you'd like to talk when he can talk calmly ...take yourself out of the equation and go for a ride in the car ...solo or with you child ...go for ice cream etc. Teach him a consequence ...you're going away ...every time he yells etc. Remain calm yourself. Your hubby has to learn a new way of coping with disagreements 2 Link to post Share on other sites
StBreton Posted October 25, 2015 Share Posted October 25, 2015 I think you go too far by saying the D word ...then he goes too far with his reaction. Your child seeing this is really bad ...I'm sure you know that but learn to walk away ...don't engage 1 Link to post Share on other sites
sandylee1 Posted October 25, 2015 Share Posted October 25, 2015 He has taken me up on it before, but backs down. There are times that I'd file in a heartbeat. Don't think I'm so big bad wife and he's the poor abused husband. He doesn't take me up on it, because he knows that he lets his anger get in the way and he's taken things to far. I sometimes say the D word, so that he can see, that he will lose his family because of his actions. I'd like to find other ways to show him that, aside from packing my bags and leaving him for calling me names and cussing me out infront of our child. So while I'm sure you believe I'm some abusive scumbag, you will see there is much more to the situation. I can only go on what you say here. You've given more info now....so my advice is a little different. Here goes.... If he's yelling and screaming, I suggest (when you aren't arguing ) you discuss that doing this and name calling especially in front of your son is unacceptable. If you've really had enough of it, then tell him that if he does it again, you will seriously consider remaining in the marriage. Now yelling in an argument is sometimes unavoidable, but the name calling is avoidable and doing in front of your son in ABSOLUTELY UNACCEPTABLE. I wouldn't tolerate it. I'm not having my child think it's okay to do that. I'm very protective with my kids and your son seeing that is not good at all. When I wanted my husband to see that I wasn't happy and that I could well leave the marriage, I took my kids and checked into a hotel for a while. I admit back then our communication was awful.......and I hate arguing and confrontations. He was going frantic blowing up my phone. I told him what the issue was after so many missed calls and messages..... He was panicked and seeing me leave shook him up. I really wasn't planning on telling him where I was (I wanted him to see how it was without me around) but he's previously tried to accuse me of cheating.......and so that he didn't think I was at some guys house, I told him where I was and he came over. Things got much better when he saw I was capable of leaving. So rather than just say you want a divorce.......do something that shakes him up to believe you will divorce if he doesn't stop his behaviour. Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted October 25, 2015 Share Posted October 25, 2015 It sounds like both of you need to find healthier and better ways of addressing issues. Yelling and scream and threatening divorce will eventually erode everything good if you two don't make some changes. Link to post Share on other sites
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