WinnieLove Posted May 22, 2005 Posted May 22, 2005 Hey, I've been seeing this guy fro about 2 years. I love him to death, we have so much fun together and he is my best friend. At the start, our relationship was purely physical (yes, a FWB arrangement). But then we started getting to know each other and realised that we connected on pretty much every other level as well. We are both now emotionally involved. The problem is, although I love sex with him, sometimes it seems that that's all he is interested in. We probably do it once a day but even that is not enough sometimes. I rarely hold back from him and do enjoy it whenever we get started, but sometimes he gets distracted by it and it makes me nervous. Like last night, I started talking to him about a problem I'm having at work and he started playing with my hair, kissing me, and trying to quickly solve the problem so we could have sex. This happens often. Sometimes I think he's thinking, 'Just shut up so I can do you.' We do have great conversations but more often than not they end with us in the sack. Is this normal? Or is he still in FWB mode??
Merin Posted May 23, 2005 Posted May 23, 2005 He likes the FWB and doesn't want to change it... And IMO he isn't even doing much of the Friend thing anymore either, just the Benefit...
Tony T Posted May 23, 2005 Posted May 23, 2005 Asking us exactly how this guy feels about you is not going to necessarily get you a correct answer. You learn that sort of thing by the way somebody behaves. Obviously, there is a slight incompatibility in your sex drives. However, if he remembers your birthday, treats you kindly most of the time, takes walks with you, takes you to movies, calls you to talk and say hello when he's away and does many other things that would indicate that he cares about you as a person, then I would think he is not using you as a sex object. However, if your relationship is mostly about sex you've got a problem. You've also got a problem if you can't teach him that when you have important things to say you don't want him engaged in foreplay with you. Kick him in the testicles once or twice and he may learn. This is not the kind of behavior you want in a serious relationship. He can rub his hands through your hair and otherwise attempt to arouse you at the proper time. Maybe he was just never taught. You're on your own here, babes!
westernxer Posted May 23, 2005 Posted May 23, 2005 Originally posted by Merin And IMO he isn't even doing much of the Friend thing anymore either, just the Benefit... He sure is a lucky bastard. Probably a lazy one, too, after getting it for free all this time.
friend182 Posted May 23, 2005 Posted May 23, 2005 What age range are you in? He sounds like an immature guy so I would guess on the younger side. If he is 30+, I would get rid of him now. He probably won't change without something major happening.
LucreziaBorgia Posted May 23, 2005 Posted May 23, 2005 This relationship works 100% for him. He would have no motivation, whatsoever to "fix" what "isn't broken".
RecordProducer Posted May 24, 2005 Posted May 24, 2005 Your intuition tells you that something is wrong so something is wrong. He is probably a superficial type of guy rather than just using you for sex for 2 years, unless you see each other once or twice a week. But if you see each other (almost) every day then you're in a normal relationship and the sex thing only means that it's the only thing taht he is interested in overall. You said you have great conversations. I bet there's an intellectual difference between the two of you as well. Does he ever tell you he loves you?
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