nlynnc Posted October 22, 2015 Share Posted October 22, 2015 My kids were seeing their dad and their dad told me that he won't be able to give me as much money in the next few weeks because it costs $400 to file for custody. I'm like ummm I need your support for them, I need that money to get things for them?? Why would he tell me that he's going to file?? Is he just trying to get a response from me or what?? And anyways if he does file for a custody case then they will automatically set up court ordered child support and it will be double what he's giving me now and he knows this. Link to post Share on other sites
StBreton Posted October 22, 2015 Share Posted October 22, 2015 Need more info Divorced? Custody agreement? What's current visitation schedule? Have you done state calc for child support? Is he planning on making up the support later? Will you be in danger of losing housing / no food on table till you get $? Is your lifestyle a danger to the children? Lots of info left out so dot point these and other info. Link to post Share on other sites
StBreton Posted October 22, 2015 Share Posted October 22, 2015 Ok just read most of your last thread. IMO ...you need to file for full custody ASAP. Have a parental psych eval ordered on your ex. See if you can get a pro bono attorney or low cost. You need to initiate court ordered child support ASAP ...you do not need attorney for this ...go yourself. And have it come directly out of his check. You do not know if he's snowing you re: the reasons for delaying child support ...in any case ...he can't legally do that. His first responsibility is to his kids eating housing etc and not paying his attorney or court costs /filing fees. Bring all documentation on your ex re drugs crimes restraining order to eval and to court. Link to post Share on other sites
Tayla Posted October 22, 2015 Share Posted October 22, 2015 Both are responsible to contribute financially to the welfare of the children.The courts decide how much . Neither the poster or us readers can say he'll pay double or how it will be decided. File the paperwork. Be civil in the proceedings and leave the discontent at the court doors. This is ultimately for the children. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
StBreton Posted October 22, 2015 Share Posted October 22, 2015 Both are responsible to contribute financially to the welfare of the children.The courts decide how much . Neither the poster or us readers can say he'll pay double or how it will be decided. File the paperwork. Be civil in the proceedings and leave the discontent at the court doors. This is ultimately for the children. I'm sure for $400 mom is also contributing and she's aware of how much her contribution should be ...there is an online calculator for most states. Yes of course the courts ultimately decide Link to post Share on other sites
StBreton Posted October 22, 2015 Share Posted October 22, 2015 OP ...we can only guess his motives ...but possibly: -to give you heads up to be prepared for court ...he wants to see kids more -telling you this to delay giving you $ for kids -to play games with you -with his record I don't think he'll try to gain full custody but that depends on your situation Link to post Share on other sites
Tayla Posted October 22, 2015 Share Posted October 22, 2015 I'm sure for $400 mom is also contributing and she's aware of how much her contribution should be ...there is an online calculator for most states. Yes of course the courts ultimately decide and you "know for sure " How? not being rude, questioning how this is a known fact ? The calculator is an estimate, which can and does vary on the case and its parental obligations. Glad we agree, the judge decides. Link to post Share on other sites
StBreton Posted October 23, 2015 Share Posted October 23, 2015 (edited) and you "know for sure " How? not being rude, questioning how this is a known fact ? The calculator is an estimate, which can and does vary on the case and its parental obligations. Glad we agree, the judge decides. OP has 2 children 2 and under ...doing the math here you think she's not contributing? Where do you think she's living in a tent in a third world country?! Interesting. OP is looking for help not agenda Anyway OP try not to stress ...you've got a lot on your plate with your 2 little ones. Go to the courts and fill out paperwork to get court date. Edited October 23, 2015 by StBreton Link to post Share on other sites
Author nlynnc Posted October 23, 2015 Author Share Posted October 23, 2015 Thank you. Yes I did the online child support calculator and it came up with double what he's giving me right now. But obviously that's just a guesstimate. I'm skeptical to bring him to court because it's so iffy with not knowing what kind of judge I'll have? If they'll be Having a good or bad day who they side w more, what they think is ok. It's a horrible feeling to be leaving my kids up for a judge to decide. And I could be doing court ordered support but I just wanna stay out of the courts but I know that not going to be possible as the kids get older and he'll want to take them places or trips and not going to be able to be there. As long as we are always meeting in a public place and I'm always there I'm ok with when he gets to see them. HE chose how to live his life and the choices he's made. They aren't good choices when you have kids involved. I just don't understand if he said that to bully me or get a rise from me or what?? I've heard from others that people like him need to feel in control so is he doing it to feel in control?? I just can't imagin having to live knowing him the rest of my life. He's just horrible. Link to post Share on other sites
Miss Peach Posted October 26, 2015 Share Posted October 26, 2015 It depends on your state/country but in many of the US states the calculation is what the judges go by. This can be determined by custody and overnights which would impact the support and the judges often do have more control over that. The judges very rarely order outside of the calculator for CS in most areas. At the minimum I would get legal advice. In many areas he doesn't have to pay ANY support legally until you file for it. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted November 19, 2015 Share Posted November 19, 2015 You don't leave it up to him. You file with the court and they make him pay them and garnish his wages and then give it to you. Do not leave it up to him. Go to family court. Call the court clerk at family court in your town to ask for appointments. Link to post Share on other sites
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