HereNorThere Posted November 12, 2015 Share Posted November 12, 2015 I really appreciate all the input. As I said I have zero family. Absolutely zero. Lost them all as a child of foster care. As for the money. Besides the house we just bought we have no real assets. Our 401k and savings are drained. So there isn't much there to fight for anyways. The house is really it and there's no equity so I'm just as fine walking away from it. The only other things on the table are child support and possible alimony which he will fight and it's just not that worth it to me. He is maintaining he wants to work things out and will do whatever it takes but I certainly don't feel like his actions are matching his words. Plus I truly don't know how to rebuild after such a selfish selfish affair threesome etc. You think that, but truthfully no one wants to go to court, ever. You HAVE to go to court to fight for what rightfully belongs to your children, not just yourself. You have to fight to make sure that you have a legal binding document that entitles them to have a future that is funded by their dead beat dad. You need to see an attorney NOW! I'm sorry this is happening to you, I know you you don't want to deal with it, but this is what life has handed you. Be an adult and take care of your kids before you end up losing them too. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Spacewoman1414 Posted November 13, 2015 Author Share Posted November 13, 2015 Please hear me out first...before you freak out on me I am not, I repeat not saying that I am even in any space considering working on things right now. I am just really wondering how did those who worked through affairs work through them? Some of the ways I have explained this with my WH the last few days include: you couldn't just have an affair (that's bad enough) BUT you took it to so many levels so many. You took it so far. You drop a vase and it cracks you can glue it back together. You drop a vase and it shatters... there's no piecing it back together. I compare us to the fase that has shattered YET I hate this. I hate the thought that because of someone's selfishness my family is ruined and destroyed. I want to think that listen we are all humans and make mistakes.... what a really costly mistake to make..I mean this mistake literally rips their entire life apart, this can't be it can it? As I have said, WH has from what I am told cut all ties with the OW. He repeatedly says he wants to work things out and while I do believe he does he definitely hasn't reached the point of desperation and actions yet. I do think that living apart as we are is a must if there is any hope of reviving this marriage but I am curious to hear seriously how in the heck do you work past all this?!? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Spacewoman1414 Posted November 13, 2015 Author Share Posted November 13, 2015 What i will follow that up with is, I have listed our house for sale and found a job in another state and am moving with the kiddos at the end of the year. He intends to do whatever it takes to join us in the new state (in a separate house). Link to post Share on other sites
turnera Posted November 14, 2015 Share Posted November 14, 2015 Then you're making the right steps. Staying apart teaches him to respect you. Teaches him that he must change before he can have access to you again. He must learn and see things from your side. Most likely, he'll just give up, but you never know. Link to post Share on other sites
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