raised by a single Mom

[guy93]

How do I get out of the position I am in? Life minus a role model.

 

With no wingman father, and an uncle who does not like me - how do I fill in the space of not being confident as a man?

 

I would like to hear from other guys raised by single mothers.

Edited October 24, 2015 by guy93

[Truth34]

Hey bro.

 

I was raised by a single mom without much money. And some alcohol issues. My grandparents were a huge part of my life, and I guess my grandpa could be considered my male role model.

 

The short to this, is I decided to be a better person. I decided not to drink or smoke, but all my friends did. I decided to stick to my word. I decided to be angry and protective instead of weak and sad. I made myself who I am today, because I had chances to fck up over and over again if I wanted.

 

I also have a unique hobby that really took center stage in my youth life, which got me out of the house and out enjoying each day.

 

My confidence is good. Sure, if I walk into a building with a ton of people I don't know I'm probably not going to strut in and sit down next to a gorgeous broad. But I mean I can hold my own in other aspects no problem, I make light jokes and just overall try to be a pleasant person. The lack of a father figure hasn't really affected me adversely that I know of. I wasn't ever the kid saying I wish I had a dad in my life.

[ZHguy]

Hey,

 

Same here. Not much money anymore.

 

This is one of the major things that is bothering me right now. I mean, from the age of 15, to before 2015, I could be arrogant and say 'I'm my own man', and be proud of the fact that I'm not an extension of any male figure, or not under their shadows. I make my own shadow.

 

At the beginning of this year, everything just started to crumble down. All of that confidence with it. It's funny, how that pride and confidence should in reality be gained after how I'm feeling now. It's as if, a part of my 15/16 year old self was more mature. Or maybe, I've mature enough to realize what's wrong with my life. Even though this is just one problem.

 

Anyhow. I'm going through what you're going through right now. Sometimes I catch myself trying to gain approval from men, wherever they are, even if they're people I've just spoken a few words to. Any approval, to assure my manhood. Which is why to me, the difference between how a man behaves, can mean the difference between the ground and the sky. How I feel afterwards, wholly depends on this random man's behavior to me. Which is silly in reality.

 

So... really, I don't have much a solution to give to you, because, I'm in the same shoes. If you find this golden solution, then gimme a shout!

 

The silver lining for me is, I'm more independent??

Edited October 29, 2015 by ZHguy