jilly Posted March 27, 2001 Share Posted March 27, 2001 Ive been sort a kind of seeing this guy for about 6 months now, we see each other every so often, but we talk all the time on the phone. Last month, I was out with him and we had sex for the first time (he's been a gentlemen) I am so confused cause ever since we had sex, he doesnt call me as much, I mean he calls but I dont know if its me being insecure and self consious. But what is going on??? It just seems to me that things have changed, Did I do something wrong or is it me just imagining things. Help, I really like this guy alot. Link to post Share on other sites
Lucas Posted March 27, 2001 Share Posted March 27, 2001 Did you have sex after that, or it was a one-time thing? Some guys, when they sleep with a girl, lose interest in them, as they consider it as yet another conquest. I am not saying that he is not interested in you, but it might be the case. I used to go out with one girl for 3 months, and when we finally slept with each other, I realized that she was not as good in bed as I thought she was. You see, I am the kind of guy who builds very high expectations, and then gets disappointed. I moved on after we have had sex. Well, ask him what is going on, ask him if he lost interest in you after having sex. Believe me, a lot of guys sometimes when they are disappointed in sex, they become very cold and lose interest. Ive been sort a kind of seeing this guy for about 6 months now, we see each other every so often, but we talk all the time on the phone. Last month, I was out with him and we had sex for the first time (he's been a gentlemen) I am so confused cause ever since we had sex, he doesnt call me as much, I mean he calls but I dont know if its me being insecure and self consious. But what is going on??? It just seems to me that things have changed, Did I do something wrong or is it me just imagining things. Help, I really like this guy alot. Link to post Share on other sites
unnamed Posted March 28, 2001 Share Posted March 28, 2001 He's a "gentlemen", so I slept with him. Having sex because someone was polite is truly pathetic, I think. That's probably your biggest problem; you gave yourself away too easily. Were you expected everything to be perfect from that point on? I have absolutely no sympathy for you and your problem. My advice: wait until your married to have sex. It will burn you in the end. Chances are, your just starting to find that out... Link to post Share on other sites
Vic Posted March 28, 2001 Share Posted March 28, 2001 I think she was saying she hadnt slept with him til that point because he had been a gentleman, i.e. not pressuring for sex early in the relationship... As for the waiting til your married. If you want too, I guess, but if your not afflicted by the god disease, premarital sex is pretty fun! -Vic He's a "gentlemen", so I slept with him. Having sex because someone was polite is truly pathetic, I think. That's probably your biggest problem; you gave yourself away too easily. Were you expected everything to be perfect from that point on? I have absolutely no sympathy for you and your problem. My advice: wait until your married to have sex. It will burn you in the end. Chances are, your just starting to find that out... Link to post Share on other sites
Vic Posted March 28, 2001 Share Posted March 28, 2001 Erm, Sorry about that reply. I dont know why I threw in the "god disease" pun. Wasnt appropriate. I think she was saying she hadnt slept with him til that point because he had been a gentleman, i.e. not pressuring for sex early in the relationship... As for the waiting til your married. If you want too, I guess, but if your not afflicted by the god disease, premarital sex is pretty fun! -Vic Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted March 28, 2001 Share Posted March 28, 2001 YOU WRITE: "I dont know why I threw in the "god disease" pun." So foot in mouth disease has spread to America??? We may have to quarantine you!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Laurynn Posted March 28, 2001 Share Posted March 28, 2001 That's commendable that you believe that sex should be saved til marriage, but no everyone was raised to believe this/believes this. The poor girl didn't jump into bed with the guy 2 hours after meeting him. They dated for 6 months and she said he'd been a gentleman all that time, and yikes, they had sex. You surely aren't obligated to have 'sympathy' for those who don't live a lifestyle/possess a value system, similar to yours...but I don't think it's nice to show such scorn to them, do you? You seem quite bitter and hostile when it comes to topics related to sex. Even judgmental. Why is that? Laurynn Link to post Share on other sites
unnamed Posted March 28, 2001 Share Posted March 28, 2001 Being scornful might knock the person into reality. You just cannot get away with having casual sex without consequence. I'm not punishing her or being scornful with the intent of hurting, but rather providing insight. Everyone learns someday. If you can teach someone the easy way, that just saves them from the hard way... Link to post Share on other sites
jilly Posted March 28, 2001 Share Posted March 28, 2001 First of all, I want to thank everyone who stuck up for me Second of all I dont just sleep with every guy I meet, I have to care and know the person first. This guy has been a perfect gentlemen since the first time that I met him. I spent several nights with him, and he nor I tried anything on each other. That night that it happend was a mutual thing and it felt right. As for waiting to have sex until marriage, I agree to a point but we are living in a new millenium Being scornful might knock the person into reality. You just cannot get away with having casual sex without consequence. I'm not punishing her or being scornful with the intent of hurting, but rather providing insight. Everyone learns someday. If you can teach someone the easy way, that just saves them from the hard way... Link to post Share on other sites
Laurynn Posted March 29, 2001 Share Posted March 29, 2001 You don't think it's scornful, when someone comes to a place like this, hurting, and needing some advice, and makes themself vulnerable by opening up to strangers...and sharing their problem...and then someone like you comes along (you might as well have been shaking your finger in her face) and says, "I have no sympathy for you or your problem." Well then what the hell are doing answering her in the first place? And who said she was looking for sympathy anyway? I don't think she was. If you want to spread the gospel, that sex before marriage is wrong, you might want to go about it a little bit differently.......insulting someone becuz their beliefs/morals/values, don't jive with yours, that's not going to do your 'cause' one bit of good. You'll just turn people off, and they'll close their ears to your message. This is a board where people talk about relationships and (uh oh) sex. If you find that the content offends your sensibilities, you might do well to find a Christian Relationships forum, hey? That way, you'll be in the company of people who believe similarly. L Being scornful might knock the person into reality. You just cannot get away with having casual sex without consequence. I'm not punishing her or being scornful with the intent of hurting, but rather providing insight. Everyone learns someday. If you can teach someone the easy way, that just saves them from the hard way... Link to post Share on other sites
jilly Posted March 29, 2001 Share Posted March 29, 2001 Thank You Lauryn, I thought it was just me!!!!!! Anywho does anyone have any real advice for me You don't think it's scornful, when someone comes to a place like this, hurting, and needing some advice, and makes themself vulnerable by opening up to strangers...and sharing their problem...and then someone like you comes along (you might as well have been shaking your finger in her face) and says, "I have no sympathy for you or your problem." Well then what the hell are doing answering her in the first place? And who said she was looking for sympathy anyway? I don't think she was. If you want to spread the gospel, that sex before marriage is wrong, you might want to go about it a little bit differently.......insulting someone becuz their beliefs/morals/values, don't jive with yours, that's not going to do your 'cause' one bit of good. You'll just turn people off, and they'll close their ears to your message. This is a board where people talk about relationships and (uh oh) sex. If you find that the content offends your sensibilities, you might do well to find a Christian Relationships forum, hey? That way, you'll be in the company of people who believe similarly. L Link to post Share on other sites
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