Candle037 Posted October 26, 2015 Share Posted October 26, 2015 Np just go in with an open mind. Plus you can get closure also if there was something nagging you. Link to post Share on other sites
makemineamac Posted October 26, 2015 Share Posted October 26, 2015 Please let us know how this went. Link to post Share on other sites
loveiswar101 Posted October 26, 2015 Share Posted October 26, 2015 A year is a long time. Wish I was in your position. I think of this scenario all the time and what would I do. Be hard but I wouldn't see her unless she was 100% clear of what she wants or is offering. Secondly though if you do please go with NO expectations, I'm sure it will be all about what she'd done while away from you. Don't let on too much what you've done. Let her do the talking. Remember she wanted to see you ! Then you can make your decision. Do you want to be with this girl ? Best of luck. Fill us in after if want. Link to post Share on other sites
Author phenix Posted October 26, 2015 Author Share Posted October 26, 2015 (edited) Thanks all for the advice. Meeting her this weekend. Will let you all know how it went. She seem to have a lot of interest in me tbh. She even suggests spending the night at my place and alludes to being very close (which REALLY surprises me by the way...) The problem is more on my end. Let's just say that we wouldn't have a super love story to tell our children..! Tough to forgive Edited October 26, 2015 by phenix Link to post Share on other sites
JuanDelToro Posted October 28, 2015 Share Posted October 28, 2015 If you love her and want her in your life, be a man, put your ego aside and forgive. People can get scared, overwhelmed, uncertain etc eventually leading them in making mistakes. She might have realized that leaving you was a mistake and now she tries to fix things. But to be honest, to me and I apologize for my expression, you seem "butthurt" because she rejected you. Your ego got hurt, not your emotions. If that's actually the case you're better off without her and she's better off without you. Link to post Share on other sites
Glass Hut Posted October 28, 2015 Share Posted October 28, 2015 If you love her and want her in your life, be a man, put your ego aside and forgive. People can get scared, overwhelmed, uncertain etc eventually leading them in making mistakes. She might have realized that leaving you was a mistake and now she tries to fix things. But to be honest, to me and I apologize for my expression, you seem "butthurt" because she rejected you. Your ego got hurt, not your emotions. If that's actually the case you're better off without her and she's better off without you. I totally disagree. Both men and women have emotions and to say "be a man" meaning be emotionally disconnected is poor advice. Anyone can get hurt, male and female. It has nothing to do with being a man. Link to post Share on other sites
JuanDelToro Posted October 29, 2015 Share Posted October 29, 2015 That is your interpretation of what a man is? Someone that is emotionally disconnected? Emotional disconnection is a sign of immaturity in my books and a man is anything but immature. A man is very connected with his emotions, takes accountability in his actions, accepts his mistakes and will either take action towards fixing things or move on. Having your ego hurt out of rejection is simply insecurity and lack of self confidence. But i do agree with you, anyone can have their hearts broken, men and women. In OP`s situation though its clear that his heart was not the thing that got hurt (or at least that`s how i see it). Link to post Share on other sites
Author phenix Posted November 1, 2015 Author Share Posted November 1, 2015 For those interested, the weekend went amazing. Lots of intimacy, lots of complicity, lots of laughter... even some ilys. it was basically like we never stopped dating. I did not bring the relationship topic because its not important to me at this point, however she did and mentioned that she isnt ready for any kind of relationship in th next 2 yrs as her focus is on career, etc. she also mentioned a lot that she would be happy for me if I were with another woman. Just took it all lightly and focused on having fun. I think the both of us are unsure where the future will take us but we sur eknow our chemistry is one of a kind. We will be meeting again soon, on her request. Thanks all for the support through this Link to post Share on other sites
xpaperxcutx Posted November 1, 2015 Share Posted November 1, 2015 Don't wait for her. Please do not hold out hope that it's possible to reconcile because the future is uncertain, and how a person feels now may not be how they feel later on. She might not be interested in dating, but if she does end up meeting someone she likes, she will date that person. The fact that she's refusing to reconcile with you shows she's hesitant about another relationship with you. Any type of hesitancy means that they do not want relationships with YOU. Link to post Share on other sites
Author phenix Posted November 2, 2015 Author Share Posted November 2, 2015 I think youre right. Ive asked her why she kept saying she loves me yet wants me to be with another woman. She said that I mean a lot to her but that she has accepted we cannot be together, at least for the time being. Despite the very intimate time we had this weekend, it sounds like she plainly lacks interest. Link to post Share on other sites
Glass Hut Posted November 2, 2015 Share Posted November 2, 2015 I think youre right. Ive asked her why she kept saying she loves me yet wants me to be with another woman. She said that I mean a lot to her but that she has accepted we cannot be together, at least for the time being. Despite the very intimate time we had this weekend, it sounds like she plainly lacks interest. Yeah who really says "for the time being"? I don't get that. It's not like she's the first to say it so I really have to wonder what is going through people's minds when they say that. Link to post Share on other sites
Author phenix Posted November 15, 2015 Author Share Posted November 15, 2015 Well basically she acts around me like a girlfriend, she kisses me says she loves me, she's intimate with me, but she says we cannot be together because I do not share her faith which she became more involved into in the past year. However she says that we never know what the future holds. The way I see it, she'd rather have someone that shares her faith but over the past year she has realized that it's not so easy to find someone we love and she wants to keep me as a plan B. Although I mean the world to her when we spend time together, she barely message me when she's away. Link to post Share on other sites
dumbass2 Posted November 15, 2015 Share Posted November 15, 2015 So are you going to remain plan B until she stops contacting you and vanishes into thin air one day, when you think things are going so well between both of you? She will not allow herself to become vested in you emotionally. She has shut that down. She may still do fun things with you, but inside she has a barrier that will not be broken until she meets someone more suitable for her. Keep going and you are going to get hurt even more and have to go through what you went through once already. Cut it off now. You want a possible future with her and she can't give you that. You don't want friends or friends with benefits, you want her as your girlfriend. Someone you have a possible future with that is in to you and is interested in you. Your ex is not that same person that you met. Link to post Share on other sites
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