oregon0011 Posted October 25, 2015 Posted October 25, 2015 I have been seeing a girl for about a month.. It became sexual rather quickly. While together, we are very close, touching, loving etc.. She is extremely complementative of me, and vice versa. Sex is quite often. She initiates most of the contact when apart, but it is close to 50/50. A couple weeks ago she suggested since I am so close to her work, she would prefer to stay over, if she could. I agreed that this would be more than fine. However, since that every single time, no matter how late it is (1am,2am) she tells me she has to go home, but wishes she could stay.We are in bed, dozing off, and she then slowly gets ready to leave, but says she wishes she didn't have to.. I try to get her to stay, but she leaves. She has not spent the night one time, which to me is odd because in my experience a girl would usually want to stay. Even when she is not working the next day, she leaves.. Is this odd?
d0nnivain Posted October 25, 2015 Posted October 25, 2015 It's odd that she mentioned wanting to stay due to the convenience & then not taking you up on your offer. Have you asked her why she doesn't stay? Perhaps present her with a toothbrush before you begin the conversation?
GemmaUK Posted October 25, 2015 Posted October 25, 2015 How many times prior to a date have you suggested she stay over so that she'd know to pack an overnight bag? 1
Author oregon0011 Posted October 25, 2015 Author Posted October 25, 2015 It's odd that she mentioned wanting to stay due to the convenience & then not taking you up on your offer. Have you asked her why she doesn't stay? Perhaps present her with a toothbrush before you begin the conversation? It is always sort of like "I have to be up early", or "i don't have anything to change into" etc.. Now most girls , I am assuming, would have brought extra clothes, so it seems sort of an excuse..And it is quite a far drive back to her place, about 40 min..
Author oregon0011 Posted October 25, 2015 Author Posted October 25, 2015 How many times prior to a date have you suggested she stay over so that she'd know to pack an overnight bag? A few times... And she actually suggested it a few times.. For example before coming over she would say she would like to spend the night, and be together in the morning... Then once here she tells me she has to leave and can't.. I don't quite understand it..
GemmaUK Posted October 25, 2015 Posted October 25, 2015 Did you actually agree and then arrange that she would come to your place a bit earlier to drop off her things before you go out? I would never just presume an overnight invite so wouldn't come walking in with an overnight bag. It'd be a while before I felt that comfortable about doing so. 3
Author oregon0011 Posted October 25, 2015 Author Posted October 25, 2015 Did you actually agree and then arrange that she would come to your place a bit earlier to drop off her things before you go out? I would never just presume an overnight invite so wouldn't come walking in with an overnight bag. It'd be a while before I felt that comfortable about doing so. I do not feel she is the shy type. She is at my place quite often, so we are comfortable in that manner. I asked her to say several times.. She asked to stay but never would.. More or less I always thought most girls would WANT to spend the night..
d0nnivain Posted October 25, 2015 Posted October 25, 2015 When did you ask her? If it was when you were already in bed, I can see why she didn't stay. Plan in advance. A few days before a date say Why don't we do . . . whatever & oh, feel free to pack a bag so you can spend the night. I'd really like to wake up with you in my arms I also make a mean breakfast. You have to try it. Her staying over when she doesn't have to work may happen before she's willing to go to work from your place. At first I rarely slept well with a partner. She also may be concerned about getting up on time / changing her routine etc. 3
GemmaUK Posted October 25, 2015 Posted October 25, 2015 I'm not shy either but I am polite. Just as Donn said too I also prefer to know if I am staying over in advance. If I have plans the next morning then it makes sense not to stay over.
carhill Posted October 25, 2015 Posted October 25, 2015 IMO, something happened relevant to that first time which imparted an emotional memory which now causes her to arise slowly and leave with apologies. She's apparently fine with the other dating and sex stuff but the sleeping over isn't comfortable. If she's not willing to discuss it, I'd let it go and continue as long as the interactions are satisfying. If not sleeping over is the hill you want to die on, OK, go with that. If it isn't resolvable, move on. 3
EricaH329 Posted October 25, 2015 Posted October 25, 2015 She probably has to poop, so she goes home. On a more serious note - it takes some girls longer to get comfortable enough with a man for her to stay the night (having you see her when she just wakes up, morning breath, needing to use the bathroom, etc.). It is odd that she would mention it, but then not follow through. The only thing I can think of that would make sense is that she does want to, but just isn't comfortable enough yet. 4
fitnessfan365 Posted October 25, 2015 Posted October 25, 2015 She probably has to poop, so she goes home. Hahaha.. Awesome. But my advice would be to let her know ahead of time that you want her to spend the night. It seems like you're always trying to convince her in the moment at the end of the night. If you want her to spend the night, tell her so when making plans. "I'd like you to sleep over Fri night so I can wake up next to you and show my appreciation the next morning." In my experience women love directness/slight vulnerability combined w/innuendo. 2
Karine26 Posted October 25, 2015 Posted October 25, 2015 She probably has to poop, so she goes home. On a more serious note - it takes some girls longer to get comfortable enough with a man for her to stay the night (having you see her when she just wakes up, morning breath, needing to use the bathroom, etc.). It is odd that she would mention it, but then not follow through. The only thing I can think of that would make sense is that she does want to, but just isn't comfortable enough yet. haha the poop thing is the first thing I thought..and second was the make up thing. I recently went to Vegas with my closest girlfriends and when we all woke up the next morning I swear I only recognized one of them without make up lol Not surprising since they all started "putting their faces on" at 5:30 but we didn't end up leaving until midnight bc it took them that long to get ready. Crazy!! But the point is...makeup does wonders and lots of girls feel uncomfortable getting ready in front of someone so soon. Especially if it involves a long make up routine. 2
Author oregon0011 Posted October 25, 2015 Author Posted October 25, 2015 IMO, something happened relevant to that first time which imparted an emotional memory which now causes her to arise slowly and leave with apologies. She's apparently fine with the other dating and sex stuff but the sleeping over isn't comfortable. If she's not willing to discuss it, I'd let it go and continue as long as the interactions are satisfying. If not sleeping over is the hill you want to die on, OK, go with that. If it isn't resolvable, move on. This is what I sense. I would say during the first two weeks she was completely gung-ho. Texts every morning etc. Then something happened in which she pulled back a bit. Also she is shy when it comes to doing certain things in front of me, but I think it is more about not "being ready" to bring things, spend the night etc.
Maxtor Posted October 25, 2015 Posted October 25, 2015 I have been seeing a girl for about a month.. It became sexual rather quickly. While together, we are very close, touching, loving etc.. She is extremely complementative of me, and vice versa. Sex is quite often. She initiates most of the contact when apart, but it is close to 50/50. A couple weeks ago she suggested since I am so close to her work, she would prefer to stay over, if she could. I agreed that this would be more than fine. However, since that every single time, no matter how late it is (1am,2am) she tells me she has to go home, but wishes she could stay.We are in bed, dozing off, and she then slowly gets ready to leave, but says she wishes she didn't have to.. I try to get her to stay, but she leaves. She has not spent the night one time, which to me is odd because in my experience a girl would usually want to stay. Even when she is not working the next day, she leaves.. Is this odd? lol man, I have been in the same situation. Same story 100%. You know why mine didnt stay? Cause she had her boyfriend leaving at 00.00 and she to be home. lol... 1
BLND Posted October 25, 2015 Posted October 25, 2015 I agree that something must have happened that first time, for her to change her mind. If I had said I'd like to spend the night, to the person I'm dating and they were hesitant to answer,or made it seem like they're not happy with that idea, then i'd definitely make it a point to never spend the night afterwards. For me personally I'd rather go home, no matter how late/early morning it is. I don't feel comfortable waking up next to someone, and doing those couples morning routines, early on in a relationship. 2
Eighty_nine Posted October 25, 2015 Posted October 25, 2015 I don't like to stay the night until I've been dating someone for a few months, even if we're having sex. Sleeping next to and waking up with one another actually seems more intimate to me than sex. I need a little longer to feel comfortable with that. 3
Author oregon0011 Posted October 25, 2015 Author Posted October 25, 2015 lol man, I have been in the same situation. Same story 100%. You know why mine didnt stay? Cause she had her boyfriend leaving at 00.00 and she to be home. lol... I actually did consider this. I mean she is on me like glue when together. I never had a woman act close like this and never simply just stay. Even once.
fitnessfan365 Posted October 25, 2015 Posted October 25, 2015 (edited) This is what I sense. I would say during the first two weeks she was completely gung-ho. Texts every morning etc. Then something happened in which she pulled back a bit. Also she is shy when it comes to doing certain things in front of me, but I think it is more about not "being ready" to bring things, spend the night etc. Dude... she's still having sex w/you regularly so her interest can't be too low..LOL As I mentioned before, stop trying to convince her in the moment at the end of the night. Ask her ahead of time next time you make plans letting her know specifically that you'd like her to spend the night. That way she can actually pack an overnight bag and be more comfortable staying over. I've been w/my GF for awhile now and she still gets hung up on having to "pack" when she knows she'll be staying over. As guys we can literally take our clothes off, sleep in our boxers, and then put the same clothes on the next morning when we leave. But girls get hung up over silly things like not having things for the next day,etc.. Ask her ahead of time so she can plan... Edited October 25, 2015 by fitnessfan365
Maxtor Posted October 25, 2015 Posted October 25, 2015 I actually did consider this. I mean she is on me like glue when together. I never had a woman act close like this and never simply just stay. Even once. Well, the first time she spent the night at my place, it was her suggestion. After that, she would stay watching movies, having sex, etc, and sometimes I was like "well, its almost 1 am, she will stay" and then she just said "i have to go". Yeah, she had a bf. So brah, time to dig up the dirt. Maybe its nothing, but, from my experience, it could be.
Author oregon0011 Posted October 25, 2015 Author Posted October 25, 2015 Well, the first time she spent the night at my place, it was her suggestion. After that, she would stay watching movies, having sex, etc, and sometimes I was like "well, its almost 1 am, she will stay" and then she just said "i have to go". Yeah, she had a bf. So brah, time to dig up the dirt. Maybe its nothing, but, from my experience, it could be. Haha. Yes. It is kind of like that. She is always looking at the time. I am thinking "ok she is so 100 percent into me, it is 1 am, she is off the next day, why would she leave to drive 40 min home?" Also, she stopped suggesting staying over. Sort of after I said yes, and agreed, she never followed through and quit mentioning it.
CosmicGate7 Posted October 25, 2015 Posted October 25, 2015 She probably has to poop, so she goes home. On a more serious note - it takes some girls longer to get comfortable enough with a man for her to stay the night (having you see her when she just wakes up, morning breath, needing to use the bathroom, etc.). It is odd that she would mention it, but then not follow through. The only thing I can think of that would make sense is that she does want to, but just isn't comfortable enough yet. Pretty girls don't poop, what is this nonsense? 2
Karine26 Posted October 25, 2015 Posted October 25, 2015 That may be a far stretch in this situation but I'm letting you know that there are cases where the girl does this type of stuff on purpose. And according to my friends (and countless threads here) the guys try 1000 times harder to get their full attention so ... sad to say here but it seems to work in the girl's favor when they act like they don't fully care. I hope you figure this out
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