My bizarro dating profile

[JuneJulySeptember]

I'm a big Seinfeld fan and I've often wondered what would happen if I did everything opposite of the way I do things in dating, Costanza style. At the end of the day, even if I were more successful, it wouldn't get me the type of woman I wanted, but for a shtick and a joke, I've been thinking of trying it. I think that my mindset is pretty opposite of most people in this world, which is one of the reasons people don't respond the way I expect them to. Anyway, I've formulated a bizarro dating profile, which is basically the opposite of the way I would write everything. Let me know what you think!

 

Hey there beautiful and classy lady.

 

Are you looking for your soulmate? Look no further.

 

I am handsome, successful, and I voraciously eat up life like a desert hyena.

 

My bucket list is half full and some of the drops include hiking volcanoes in Costa Rica, lazily enjoying a Pinot Noir on a Parisian cobble street, and plunging off a Hawaiian cliff. I'm looking for a very special someone to fill the rest of my bucket list and do all the finer and exciting things this world has to offer.

 

I work in finance. I love my job with a passion and could not imagine doing anything else.

 

You ... are successful, very attractive and physically fit, and are passionate about your job and work hard and play harder.

 

Do you think you can keep up with me as we take this world by storm? I can't wait to hear from you.

Edited October 25, 2015 by JuneJulySeptember

[CarrieT]

Nothing bizarre about it. Just kind of kitschy, to be honest.

[JuneJulySeptember]

Nothing bizarre about it. Just kind of kitschy, to be honest.

 

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bizarro

 

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Bizarro_Jerry

[carhill]

Add this picture and you're all set.

 

My bet is you'll have some success with this. Enjoy it. Sounds like fun.

[JuneJulySeptember]

Add this picture and you're all set.

 

My bet is you'll have some success with this. Enjoy it. Sounds like fun.

 

Haha. You like it?

 

 

Of course, saying you're attractive if the person doesn't think so is pretty useless, but the rest I think people would like.

Edited October 25, 2015 by JuneJulySeptember

[LookAtThisPOst]

Haha. You like it?

 

 

Of course, saying you're attractive if the person doesn't think so is pretty useless, but the rest I think people would like.

 

Actually, it's better if you say it like, "My friends tell me I'm attractive" lol

[carhill]

Haha. You like it?

 

 

Of course, saying you're attractive if the person doesn't think so is pretty useless, but the rest I think people would like.

IMO, the important thing is you like it. If you do, go with it. Also, spice it up frequently. Change it. Who knows, you might develop a dating site following. I mean, who doesn't like Tom Brady in a bulging jockstrap? Heh.

[JuneJulySeptember]

IMO, the important thing is you like it. If you do, go with it. Also, spice it up frequently. Change it. Who knows, you might develop a dating site following. I mean, who doesn't like Tom Brady in a bulging jockstrap? Heh.

 

Oh, I hate it. I think it's despicable. I thought I made that much clear.

 

Thanks for your comments Car...

[xxoo]

Saying you're attractive is a whole lot more attractive than saying you aren't!

 

I like the profile. I'd respond

[carhill]

Saying you're attractive is a whole lot more attractive than saying you aren't!

 

I like the profile. I'd respond

Ha, ha, don't be afraid to share your imperfections, like taking an occasional sip. Don't make it obvious but keep it real. No man is perfect but, hey, it is a laudable goal and you are well on your way. Women love a winner and a challenge. Once you detach from any expectations and just go with the bizarre, it can take on a life all its own.

 

I recall a female friend who did this on jDate and we'd sit around her computer and crack up, both at her creative writing and the responses from men that came in. She had a lot of fun with it and I learned a lot from her about that aspect.

[JuneJulySeptember]

Ha, ha, don't be afraid to share your imperfections, like taking an occasional sip. Don't make it obvious but keep it real. No man is perfect but, hey, it is a laudable goal and you are well on your way. Women love a winner and a challenge. Once you detach from any expectations and just go with the bizarre, it can take on a life all its own.

 

I recall a female friend who did this on jDate and we'd sit around her computer and crack up, both at her creative writing and the responses from men that came in. She had a lot of fun with it and I learned a lot from her about that aspect.

 

Car, I think you're somewhat like me. And we've got some life experience between us.

 

Let me share another profile with you.

 

Hey there,

 

I'm just kind of a laid back guy looking for a down to Earth gal to share the fun and crazy, unpredictable moments of life with.

 

I'm a chameleon. I like to [do outdoors stuff], but I also love going into the city and enjoying dinner and drinks as well as catching [a variety of shows]. Love to travel.

 

I don't care how much $ you make and how successful you are. I'm looking for a loyal woman who looks to help the little people in life. Somebody who is not afraid to go into an inner city neighborhood and tutor children but also to go into a bar there and have some drinks with the locals. Somebody who enjoys talking to people who don't get as much attention as others. Somebody who can have wine with a corporate lawyer, but feel just as home sharing an earnest conversation and a beer with a farm worker from the fields.

 

I'm loyal to my friends, and essentially looking for a best friend, and a lifelong partner. If you would like to take a chance, then drop me a line.

 

I'm very curious as to your opinion about people. What % of women do you think would prefer the 1st and how many the 2nd with all the same photos and given no other choices? For a potential romantic mate of course, not friendship.

 

P.S. I wouldn't post the 2nd one either in it's entirety, it's too raw.

Edited October 25, 2015 by JuneJulySeptember

[Imajerk17]

 

I'm very curious as to your opinion about people. What % of women do you think would prefer the 1st and how many the 2nd with all the same photos and given no other choices? For a potential romantic mate of course, not friendship.

 

P.S. I wouldn't post the 2nd one either in it's entirety, it's too raw.

 

I'm not carhill, but this is my take. I think the question (bolded) is a question that doesn't serve you at all. Your goal is to meet the RIGHT woman, for you, which means funneling in women who COULD BE the right woman. Meeting a bunch of women who are clearly wrong for you doesn't help you at all, and a bigger bunch of the wrong women doesn't improve things.

 

I think you'd be painting yourself into a corner w the profile though (Post #10). (1) No one likes to think of themselves as "unsuccessful". (2) While there are women who care enough to go volunteer, it may be a stretch to expect a woman to go into a rough area by herself to drink. Is that really what you require in someone? If not, then you want to take some stuff out.

Edited October 25, 2015 by Imajerk17

[xxoo]

I prefer the first. It's got positive energy and makes me smile.

 

The second, while full of ideas I value, is low energy and a bit depressing.

 

Here's a fun idea--combine the two! Lemme try:

 

Hey there caring and compassionate lady.

 

Are you looking for your soulmate? Look no further.

 

I am passionate, well-traveled, and I voraciously eat up life like a desert hyena.

 

My bucket list is half full and some of the drops include tutoring inner city children, lazily enjoying a Pinot Noir on a Parisian cobble street, and and sharing a conversation with farm workers in the fields. I'm looking for a very special someone to fill the rest of my bucket list and do all the finer and deeply meaningful things this world has to offer.

 

I work in social outreach. I love my job with a passion and could not imagine doing anything else. I don't care how much $ you make and how successful you are.

 

You ... are loyal, very attractive and physically fit, and are passionate about your job and work hard and play harder.

 

Do you think you can keep up with me as we take this world by storm? I can't wait to hear from you.

 

Now THAT is a man I would contact!

[JuneJulySeptember]

I'm not carhill, but this is my take. I think the question (bolded) is a question that doesn't serve you at all. Your goal is to meet the RIGHT woman, for you, which means funneling in women who COULD BE the right woman. Meeting a bunch of women who are clearly wrong for you doesn't help you at all, and a bigger bunch of the wrong women doesn't improve things.

 

I think you'd be painting yourself into a corner w the profile though (Post #10). (1) No one likes to think of themselves as "unsuccessful". (2) While there are women who care enough to go volunteer, it may be a stretch to expect a woman to go into a rough area by herself to drink. Is that really what you require in someone? If not, then you want to take some stuff out.

 

Check your mail.

 

By the way, it is a really good point about the numbers being pointless.

 

I would never post either, but #2 is a lot closer to how I think.

Edited October 25, 2015 by JuneJulySeptember

[xxoo]

Check your mail.

 

By the way, it is a really good point about the numbers being pointless.

 

I would never post either, but #2 is a lot closer to how I think.

 

What about my #3?

[JuneJulySeptember]

What about my #3?

 

It's not me. I'm low-key and laid back.

 

Most all the times I volunteer or give guys on the street sandwiches and money nobody even knows about it and I certainly don't post it on Facebook or anything like that.

 

Your post kind of says, "I stand out and you should too." and that was kind of the theme of my faux-post though mine was more exaggerated.

 

I really don't believe in that. I would also never say that a woman should be very attractive.

 

It's best to illustrate my mindset with an example. One of the VPs where I work is very popular. He has stories, and he knows famous people and he is charming with all the women. Sometimes when he talks to me, I'm in the middle of saying something, and he starts walking away to go talk to somebody else or interrupts me to break the conversation. A number of people do this.

 

One of the engineers I work with is less interesting and may not have been laid in years, if ever. I'm serious. He's so low key and a bit awkward at times. But when I talk to him, he gives me his full attention and listens to what I'm saying. It's a true conversation.

 

99% of people would rather hang out after work with the VP, but I would rather hang out with the engineer.

 

In essence, I'm looking for that in a woman. Just someone where we have a boatload in common, and they know how to TRULY be nice and loyal to people, not just those people who they think are interesting. That's it.

 

I think I have met some women who were kind of close to that, but while it was good enough for me, like you suggest ... they wanted more.

Edited October 25, 2015 by JuneJulySeptember

[xxoo]

It's not me. I'm low-key and laid back.

 

Most all the times I volunteer or give guys on the street sandwiches and money nobody even knows about it and I certainly don't post it on Facebook or anything like that.

 

Your post kind of says, "I stand out and you should too." and that was kind of the theme of my faux-post though mine was more exaggerated.

 

I really don't believe in that. I would also never say that a woman should be very attractive.

 

It's best to illustrate my mindset with an example. One of the VPs where I work is very popular. He has stories, and he knows famous people and he is charming with all the women. Sometimes when he talks to me, I'm in the middle of saying something, and he starts walking away to go talk to somebody else or interrupts me to break the conversation. A number of people do this.

 

One of the engineers I work with is less interesting and may not have been laid in years, if ever. I'm serious. He's so low key and a bit awkward at times. But when I talk to him, he gives me his full attention and listens to what I'm saying. It's a true conversation.

 

99% of people would rather hang out after work with the VP, but I would rather hang out with the engineer.

 

In essence, I'm looking for that in a woman. Just someone where we have a boatload in common, and they know how to TRULY be nice and loyal to people, not just those people who they think are interesting. That's it.

 

I think I have met some women who were kind of close to that, but while it was good enough for me, like you suggest ... they wanted more.

 

Ok, delete the attractive part. I was just trying to pull the essence from both.

 

Do you that person in profile #3 does not know how to truly be nice and loyal to people?

[JuneJulySeptember]

I prefer the first. It's got positive energy and makes me smile.

 

The second, while full of ideas I value, is low energy and a bit depressing.

 

Here's a fun idea--combine the two! Lemme try:

 

Hey there caring and compassionate lady.

 

Are you looking for your soulmate? Look no further.

 

I am passionate, well-traveled, and I voraciously eat up life like a desert hyena.

 

My bucket list is half full and some of the drops include tutoring inner city children, lazily enjoying a Pinot Noir on a Parisian cobble street, and and sharing a conversation with farm workers in the fields. I'm looking for a very special someone to fill the rest of my bucket list and do all the finer and deeply meaningful things this world has to offer.

 

I work in social outreach. I love my job with a passion and could not imagine doing anything else. I don't care how much $ you make and how successful you are.

 

You ... are loyal, very attractive and physically fit, and are passionate about your job and work hard and play harder.

 

Do you think you can keep up with me as we take this world by storm? I can't wait to hear from you.

 

Now THAT is a man I would contact!

 

Ok, delete the attractive part. I was just trying to pull the essence from both.

 

Do you that person in profile #3 does not know how to truly be nice and loyal to people?

 

It's not bad.

 

I mean, I want a caring and compassionate woman but it sounds funny to ask for that.

 

Soulmates sounds nice, but I just don't believe in that.

 

The bucket list one ain't bad.

 

I don't love my job. It's OK, I've made efforts to put myself in that position, but I need to pay bills. I wouldn't require a woman to have that because I know they might be similarly trying to do the same.

 

I agree with some of those things but I wouldn't necessarily say it like that.

 

I guess OLD is truly about standing out. Probably one of the reasons it's been so bad for me.

[xxoo]

It's not bad.

 

I mean, I want a caring and compassionate woman but it sounds funny to ask for that.

 

Soulmates sounds nice, but I just don't believe in that.

 

The bucket list one ain't bad.

 

I don't love my job. It's OK, I've made effort to put myself in that position, but I need to pay bills. I wouldn't require a woman to have that because I know they might be similarly trying to do the same.

 

I agree with some of those things but I wouldn't necessarily say it like that.

 

Sure, replace with your own preferred adjectives, hopes, and desires. It's the happy, upbeat tone that makes it attractive. Your #2 sounds like someone who has the same interests as me, but is lacking in energy and love of life.