How do u ever knw when they are telling the truth - I mean really telling the truth??

[Soul Searching JJ]

How do you ever know when they are telling the truth - I mean really telling the truth??

 

Not sure if anyone reading this knows my current story although it is a long one. In short my hubby lied to me about his past, his character (the neat, respectful, financially stable one) and much of his life experiences just to make sure I would say "I do". Now the charade is beginning to crumble and I am left trying to piece together who he really is...

 

He has a history of lying about everything even if it is totally unnecessary. He has confided in our neighbors quite a bit and they began to tell me what he was saying because they felt I should know. I haven't told my hubby I know about all of these stories he has told them although I keep giving him the opportunity to just fess up and he continues to stick to his version of the stories he tells me.

 

For example, he told them he was VERY WELL educated about sex and that he had been with over 100 people. He told me about 8-11. Big difference!! Now, he told them this last summer and they just told me over the last few weeks. Now that I know, I keep asking him about his sexual history, his abilities in bed and match that with the unhealthy amount of porn I've caught him with in the past. Normally you would say, well, can you see him with that many people?? And the answer is yes and no.

 

He claims he can't get it up on the first few times because he has a very low self esteem and is embarrassed. Now I know this is true because of our first few experiences. However, he never failed at his performance in the least. He seemed well skilled in what to say, how to touch, and just what to do. When I confronted him with the fact that I know he has had more experience and that I suspect that there may be more to his stories than what he is telling me - he denies it. He is a master manipulator and one that even prepares his stories in advance as to soften me up to the lie he is planning on telling me at a later date. He even mentioned, well I told the neighbors about a threesome one time just to see if it would get back to you. I know he did this to confuse me in case the story eventually did make it to me - which it did.

 

Now, outside of hypnosis, how the heck do I know what to believe?

[overseas2004]

But is that all? He has just lied about how many women? Or is there more?

[Soul Searching JJ]

More than I care to mention.

 

He has lied about much - he was abused as a kid and began to self medicate himself with pot at a young age. He suffers from depression, ADD, Anxiety... all things he kept a secret until I discovered after we were married. Now we have two children together and two from previous marriages.

 

I thought he was my Knight in Shining armor and I got a rusted, past cheater, compulsive liar on pot. I've called an end to the marriage because cheating, drugs and lies just are not part of my personality although somehow I can't get him to leave. I somehow feel I need to help him because I feel sorry for what he had to go through as a child. So, he has been to 4 psychologists and I've tried a counselor - so far he is still a liar to me and I can't tell if he is telling the truth.