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Is a second chance possible with LDR


DatingNYC

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Is it possible to reconnect in a LDR? We were only together 6 months but things were intense - it was really the distance I think and bad timing. We didn't end things on a bad note.

 

We've been NC for 6 weeks but he started reaching out and I suggested we meet up. What's the best way to approach?

Edited by DatingNYC
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Would distance be a factor again ?

 

What would be different ?

 

He is in town a lot more frequently now and may actually move here in the future. He just never knew when that would happen which is why things ended - but I think we could make it work especially knowing the LDR is temporary. We dont have to get back together right away, but I want to keep that door open for down the line.

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If whatever tore you apart had been fixed, it might be possible. Otherwise you are just dealing with the same old insurmountable stuff.

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I am guessing he was the dumper- what was his tone when he reconnected? did he hint at reconciling and resuming LDR? He may move---may. What if he doesn't? Then what? He may also meet someone in the state he is in now and decide to stay put. The question is how long are you willing to put your life on hold for possibilities?

 

If this a one-sided thing where you are trying to convince him, I hate to say this but it will never work. He has to be the one to come up with a concrete plan for reconciliation and ending the long distance. Otherwise, the same issues still exist and you're just beating a dead horse.

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LDR can be worked out if both partners are willing. i recently got dumped, in a LDR myself and i know i would be willing to if she approached me.

but i agree with the above comment. it has to be two sided. you cant be the only one hoping.

if my ex approached me i would definately reply. take it slow, feel the waters, see where she stands and what her feelings are. would not try to scare her away. and would definately not ask about their feelings on the first day. take it slowly, cool and casual with a hint of interested. show them the side of you they once fell in love with. and feel if their reponse is positive

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Yea, it definitely wasn't due to a lack of feelings. I just think he got scared and the distance - given past experiences of his own, was something he didn't want to do since it was always a LDR and he feared it would drag on and only be worse and end badly. I think he thought he was being fair to us both.

 

It sucks. :/ I guess my hope is that if he does secure a job here and moves here, then we could rekindle at that time. But who knows when that could be.

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