RedRobin Posted October 29, 2015 Share Posted October 29, 2015 ...as well as provided more opportunities for her attraction to whither on the vine without any fertilizing by emotional attachment from sex... That's definitely true... and something I highly recommend if women want to avoid getting wrapped up with the wrong sort of man... I will add though, that I only did OLD after the death of my fiancée... in a place (Upstate NY) where there was an abundance of the 'wrong sort of man'... Hence the need for more caution. Results may vary in other locations where the general quality of available men is better. Link to post Share on other sites
RedRobin Posted October 29, 2015 Share Posted October 29, 2015 (edited) Really? One of the most often-given tips for women on online dating is to not rely on incoming messages from guys (most of which will be the DTF crowd), but rather to search for and message guys they like. Which seems contradictory to what you've written above. True enough. I ignored about half of the messages I received, and did my own searches. True. I learned (or lets say, was 'taught') not to contact a man first there though. I'd look at his profile... maybe liked a picture at best... then it was up to him to respond or not. The guys I had to email first often took it as me being desperate or easy. Can't say a relationship ever developed from OLD where I contacted the guy first. And I'm not a traditional type woman, nor do I believe in rigid gender rules. As for the guys who go too fast... yes, it is simple... but I'd rather not even associate with those guys. It's just obnoxious and depressing to be treated like a piece of meat. Somehow I managed to find that happy medium with my ex-H, my fiancée... and other men since then I've had relationships with. I think people know pretty quick if there is romantic possibility without needing to throw down with a near stranger. It really still boggles my mind that when doing OLD I'm expected to make a decision about whether I am going to sleep with a guy in less time than it takes my car to get detailed, or in less time than it takes to drive from NYC to Boston... In less time than it takes to watch the Superbowl, or knit a simple scarf. As a woman, I'm expected to make a decision about having a sex with a guy I likely wouldn't trust to watch my dog or drive my car. I mean... just to put things in perspective... ... and really, when I put it that way to some of the guys I've gone on dates with, they were embarrassed to admit that they'd made similar decisions about women and paid the negative consequences of such. So, there ya go. Edited October 29, 2015 by RedRobin Link to post Share on other sites
Gloria25 Posted October 29, 2015 Share Posted October 29, 2015 I think some of these women either: 1 - Literally don't appreciate, want, or see men in a romantic way - especially when they expect men to have characteristics of a female (ie sit around and chat all day, go shopping, have feeeeeelings and cry in front of them, not want sex cuz a man is a dog if he wants that ). And, a lot of RLs are like that. I was laughing last nite on ID's "True Nightmares" (BTW, I'm loving this show - especially the host) where this married woman with three kids couldn't believe her husband was cruising gay bars cuz they had sex SIX TIMES in the whole marriage (I guess that's where the three kids got conceived ). 2 - The women are married/involved and like my experience with men on dating sites claiming they only want "friends". 3 - They're "blue collar golddiggers". In other words, they got lots of male "friends" who are sooo nice to them. One gives them $20, one pays her light bill, one gives her rides. At the end of the day, and especially with technology, there are soo many other days to meet people and seek "friendships " without trolling "dating " sites. There's church, volunteering, meetups, getting a hobby, even taking up a little course at a local college, sports, gym (especially classes). Link to post Share on other sites
Miss Peach Posted October 29, 2015 Share Posted October 29, 2015 I occasionally look on dating sites while singe and see if I can find other women for friends sometimes. I meet so few women in my circles because I work in a male dominated field and have a lot of male hobbies. I have a lot of male friends but some things you only want to talk about or do with another woman. I don't contact men on these sites for friendship. Link to post Share on other sites
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