Conquering racial preferences in online dating

[Snakechammah]

That is the takeaway from this thread - white women are the best? Fine.

 

This is one example I meant:

 

Average-looking Indonesian man shocks netizens by marrying beautiful British girl, AsiaOne Women Relationships Lifestyle & News

 

I wonder if a girl from another race would even consider this guy from a village?

 

Love is beautiful when it's real!

[RoseWater]

This is one example I meant:

 

Average-looking Indonesian man shocks netizens by marrying beautiful British girl, AsiaOne Women Relationships Lifestyle & News

 

I wonder if a girl from another race would even consider this guy from a village?

 

Love is beautiful when it's real!

 

is that a satire news site?

[Sarabi]

^In her wedding picture she looks stunning but she looks average in the other pic.

 

Love is real...lol. So is the British passport that you wait what, 7yrs to get? at least he is an educated man I suppose...

[Sarabi]

It's not a fetish for me, I just don't care about race, or even really looks that much.

 

I did think black women would be open to dating Asian men because both generally have less options..I mean, that's a harsh way of putting it but that's dating. The more options you have the pickier you will be about everything. And there is also some similarity in facial features.

 

That's not really the case though. Mostly everyone prefers white people.

 

No, it is not harsh, you are right. I understand what you mean and it is true (at least for online dating anyway). Black women and Asian men are most likely to get the least responses.

I suppose it just depends on the woman...how open she is and how willing she is to take a chance don't give up though!

[Sarabi]

I was born and raised here so I am extremely Americanized as well. I like to think I'm a pretty open minded guy. Any tips from the minority men that have had success?

 

I am not a man but I am a minority...I currently haven't got a boyfriend of any race...

 

Travel love You too JuneJulySeptember that way you may meet or at least be exposed to more open minded women of other races.

I have heard people say that black women outside America are more open to interracial dating than black women within America but again, I think it depends on the woman...

[Odinani]

No, it is not harsh, you are right. I understand what you mean and it is true (at least for online dating anyway). Black women and Asian men are most likely to get the least responses.

I suppose it just depends on the woman...how open she is and how willing she is to take a chance don't give up though!

 

While black women are supposedly statistically less likely to get responses, that's a trend rather than a fact for every black woman. Very attractive women of every skin colour get lots of responses. Men aren't blind. And a dazzlingly handsome Asian man who is 6ft + and has an amazing job is also not that likely to get completely ignored.

 

An average or below average looking Asian man of short stature, not so much.

 

[Sarabi]

And a dazzlingly handsome Asian man who is 6ft + and has an amazing job is also not that likely to get completely ignored

 

mmmmm...Daniel Henney

[Shining One]

Any tips from the minority men that have had success?

My strategy is for Match, but I'm sure it can be applied elsewhere. You are statistically undesirable (like me), so it will take more effort for you to succeed.

• Set a goal for how many women you will reach out to per week. I used 40.
  
• When looking at profiles, look at her ethnicity preferences before anything else. Match makes this easy. If you are not on her list, block her from your search results and move on to the next profile. Your goal here is to spend less than 10 seconds on a woman who won't date you.
  
• If a woman doesn't respond within a few days, block her profile from search results.
  
• If you feel yourself burning out, take a break, then get back to it. I basically went through the following cycle: OLD Failures -> ONS -> OLD Failures -> ONS -> OLD Success
  
• Use OLD as a supplement, not as your only means of meeting women.
  

I all honestly, 80% of women on Match.com has a hard race preference.

I haven't crunched the numbers for my area, but I estimate around 3 out of 10 profiles I looked at did not exclude me (Indian).

"Mostly everyone prefers dating white people?"

I can't speak for male preferences, but most of the women on Match (within 50 miles of me) are only willing to date their race or white. I've looked at thousands of profiles over the years and that seems to be the trend (again, for this area).

[JuneJulySeptember]

My strategy is for Match, but I'm sure it can be applied elsewhere. You are statistically undesirable (like me), so it will take more effort for you to succeed.

• Set a goal for how many women you will reach out to per week. I used 40.
  
• When looking at profiles, look at her ethnicity preferences before anything else. Match makes this easy. If you are not on her list, block her from your search results and move on to the next profile. Your goal here is to spend less than 10 seconds on a woman who won't date you.
  
• If a woman doesn't respond within a few days, block her profile from search results.
  
• If you feel yourself burning out, take a break, then get back to it. I basically went through the following cycle: OLD Failures -> ONS -> OLD Failures -> ONS -> OLD Success
  
• Use OLD as a supplement, not as your only means of meeting women.
  

I haven't crunched the numbers for my area, but I estimate around 3 out of 10 profiles I looked at did not exclude me (Indian).I can't speak for male preferences, but most of the women on Match (within 50 miles of me) are only willing to date their race or white. I've looked at thousands of profiles over the years and that seems to be the trend (again, for this area).

 

I agree with all of this.

 

The only thing is that if you message 40 women a week, you will eventually run out of women on Match.com.

 

Even quicker if you live in the suburbs.

 

When I did Asian women with a 30 mile radius of myself, it took me about 3 months, before I started going through all the pages and saying "Man, I'm just done." I've messaged them all before or they'll only date white dudes/can't meet height.

[Shining One]

The only thing is that if you message 40 women a week, you will eventually run out of women on Match.com.

 

Even quicker if you live in the suburbs.

Fortunately, this wasn't a problem for me. Even with well over a thousand profiles blocked, I still had 2000+ mutual matches.

I've messaged them all before or they'll only date white dudes/can't meet height.

This is why I block them from search results. There's no point in viewing a profile again if she has already excluded me. I think you can block up to 10,000 profiles. I really wish Match would allow you to do searches based on the woman's requirements. I've had many 90+% matches who won't date Indian men.

[JuneJulySeptember]

I really wish Match would allow you to do searches based on the woman's requirements. I've had many 90+% matches who won't date Indian men.

 

I really wish that too, and I made a post about that.

 

I mean it makes so much sense. It's really the one feature they should have on there, but they don't.

[40 Fonzarelli]

As an Asian man, I don't have much difficulty getting dates with Asian women on okc or Tinder. However, I can count on one hand how many dates I've been on with non-Asian women. It averages out to about 1-2 per year. This despite the fact that I send way more messages to non-Asian women than Asian women because we're still a relatively small minority even though I live in NYC.

 

I was born and raised here so I am extremely Americanized as well. I like to think I'm a pretty open minded guy. Any tips from the minority men that have had success?

 

I live in NYC as well and my asian buddy got horrible responses online from white women. But he hooks up regularly at bars/clubs and he only goes for white girls. I would suggest you get offline and get out there.

[Snakechammah]

^In her wedding picture she looks stunning but she looks average in the other pic.

 

Love is real...lol. So is the British passport that you wait what, 7yrs to get? at least he is an educated man I suppose...

 

For the record, the girl lives in HIS country, with HIS family and HIS culture. He is not with her for her passport. This is what makes their relationship so interesting. She is with him because she wants to be!

 

This is the classic example of why I think white girls are more open to guys from other cultures/race/religion.

[Shining One]

This is the classic example of why I think white girls are more open to guys from other cultures/race/religion.

I've dated women of various ethnicities. I'm not selective at all in this area. A slight majority have been white, so my experience tends to agree with you. Of course, the majority of women in this area are white, so that affects results as well.

 

The OKCupid QuickMatch Scores tend to agree with you as well. Here's the full article that image came from.

[LookAtThisPOst]

I recall seeing a couple of white women in my area that would specifically state, sometimes in all caps, "Black Men Only please apply!"

 

I would wonder why this person specifically requested a race not of their own and that dating men of their OWN race to be considered a deal breaker?

 

I would speculate to think this is just a passing phase or perhaps a fetish even?

[Sarabi]

This is the classic example of why I think white girls are more open to guys from other cultures/race/religion.

 

I think white women naturally have more options...not really that they are more open. The options may have allowed some of them to become more open but there are plenty of silly and ignorant ones(that I have seen) in relationships with people from other cultures/races.

I also assume the majority of them do not wake up every day knowing that the world in general views them negatively, irrespective of what they do for little more than the colour of their skin. Sometimes some of us are even taught by our own people that we are not desired by men of other races.

 

Based on what has been said or thought or taught previously throughout history; White is often portrayed as the standard of beauty that the whole world must fit into or aspire to. Non-white has often been portrayed as less attractive or undesirable and I am sure on some subconscious level, people believe all these things. I mean look at the wording of the article; The man is educated and most likely intelligent but oh, how on earth did he manage to get a nice looking white girl. As if she's doing him some kind of big favour...

If he was an average looking educated white man from the countryside would it be news?

 

Good luck to them anyway, there is enough misery in the world we should not begrudge people happiness wherever they find it

[impatiently_patient]

I recall seeing a couple of white women in my area that would specifically state, sometimes in all caps, "Black Men Only please apply!"

 

I would wonder why this person specifically requested a race not of their own and that dating men of their OWN race to be considered a deal breaker?

 

I would speculate to think this is just a passing phase or perhaps a fetish even?

 

It's race fetishization. Basically the female version of the creepily-only-into-Asian girls guy. Switch out the anime collection for a bunch of hip hop records.

[SolG]

Travel love You too JuneJulySeptember that way you may meet or at least be exposed to more open minded women of other races.

I have heard people say that black women outside America are more open to interracial dating than black women within America but again, I think it depends on the woman...

 

The good old USA is the only Western place I've ever been where race is a real issue. I'm not really sure what the preoccupation is :/

 

I'm of mixed origin; REALLY mixed. As in my grandparents all hail from different continents. I don't identify as being of any race specifically at all! And it's never been a problem for me whilst dating. In fact quite the opposite; I'm frequently told I'm intriguingly exotic by men of all backgrounds. I've predominately dated Caucasian men (and married one) because most men where I am are Caucasian.

 

I can honestly say that it's just not an issue here... Inter-racial couples are everywhere and restricting dating by race is not something I've ever seen anyone in my life mention, let alone practice. (Although I know it does exist in some sectors outside of my experience.)

 

I agree with Sarabi... Travel!

Edited October 31, 2015 by SolG

[Pillow]

I'm a black woman too.

 

MOST Black women prefer black men to the exclusion of all others. Go on any black women's site and you will see this is true. Most Bw would date an African or African-Latino or mixed race before they date outside of blackness. A lot of black women prefer dark-skinned men as in jet black-skinned men too, especially the light-skinned. Light-skinned black women really prefer black men.

 

A lot of black women only date out when we feel we have no choice because black men treated us wrongly.

 

We are the only race of women who is completely unaffected by white supremacy in our dating habits. We are literally the only race of women who find white men the least attractive.

 

Online dating trends mean nothing for the individual. It's a nationwide trend. It can tell you nothing about how individual people are faring. I once told my white friend he should be doing better than me when it comes to dating. He's not.

 

If you are dumb enough to think hot black women are not getting laid and just sitting around patiently celibate, then you should know I have a prince in Ethiopia waiting to give you a million dollars.

 

The vast majority of black women are meeting who they actually want- black men, the more urban/hip-hop the better- in the clubs/bars. They are not doing online dating.

Edited November 3, 2015 by Pillow

[impatiently_patient]

IWe are literally the only race of women who find white men the least attractive.

 

Ummm... where are you getting your data from?

[Sarabi]

Ummm... where are you getting your data from?

 

Not sure where Pillow gets her data from but I do not find white men unattractive.

I suspect that black women are more determined to try and stick with dating black men but I have never heard that we openly find them the least attractive.

 

I personally think some of us are more fearful of dating outside our race because of the perception that we are undesirable/unattractive and that men of other races would not consider us anyway so we do not always make our interest (if we have any) known...we are scared of what other people think and that holds us back. Likewise men of other races who might be attracted to some of us are scared of stereotypes, so are also scared to approach...

[stillafool]

I'm a black woman too.

 

MOST Black women prefer black men to the exclusion of all others. Go on any black women's site and you will see this is true. Most Bw would date an African or African-Latino or mixed race before they date outside of blackness. A lot of black women prefer dark-skinned men as in jet black-skinned men too, especially the light-skinned. Light-skinned black women really prefer black men.

 

A lot of black women only date out when we feel we have no choice because black men treated us wrongly.

 

We are the only race of women who is completely unaffected by white supremacy in our dating habits. We are literally the only race of women who find white men the least attractive.

 

Online dating trends mean nothing for the individual. It's a nationwide trend. It can tell you nothing about how individual people are faring. I once told my white friend he should be doing better than me when it comes to dating. He's not.

 

If you are dumb enough to think hot black women are not getting laid and just sitting around patiently celibate, then you should know I have a prince in Ethiopia waiting to give you a million dollars.

 

The vast majority of black women are meeting who they actually want- black men, the more urban/hip-hop the better- in the clubs/bars. They are not doing online dating.

 

I'm a black woman and I agree with everything you said except the bolded part.

[hotpotato]

Im.a black woman, and i find white men extremely attractive. Its grrat if hes tall, blonde, and athletic.

 

I think plenty of black women want to date white men, but they are still in the closet.

 

I think many are afraid that white men will never marry them. Thats nuts, bc neither do a lot of black men. Black marruage rates are relatively low. Ive had female family members tell me flat out that a white man wont marry a black woman. Yet i see very little outrafe when black men dont marry their baby mamas. Go fiiiiigure.

[Myragal]

I will only date males with American/European 'cultural' background. I'm less concerned about race. I don't want a future Chinese mother in law or some tug of war how kids should be raised.

 

I won't date a Muslim, Hindu, etc. They could be very nice guys but do not share my ideology.

 

A man must be athletic and fit. I don't care about height.

 

So physical attributes I would date a western born Asian who was athletic.

 

He would have to have to meet other non physical standards but so would white guys and others.

[thefooloftheyear]

I recall seeing a couple of white women in my area that would specifically state, sometimes in all caps, "Black Men Only please apply!"

 

I would wonder why this person specifically requested a race not of their own and that dating men of their OWN race to be considered a deal breaker?

 

I would speculate to think this is just a passing phase or perhaps a fetish even?

 

 

Seems like only overweight/obese women state this...In my experience anyway...

 

I'd also share that it seems like white women just have no interest in Asian men,,,,Maybe its an American white woman thing, but TBH, you almost never see that type of a pairing on the street...Conversely, it seems like Asian women are crazy for white guys...The bigger the better, even though they are tiny....Kinda odd, but attraction rarely follows any rules..

 

Just observations...not personal opinions, btw...

 

TFY