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Heartache over guy friend


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I have a problem where l have fallen really badly for someone and I can't get them out of my head. Friends at the time say they thought he really liked me, but didn't really want to. This is the exact impression I got. There was definite attraction but sometimes I felt like he was forcing himself to not like me. He did make a subtle move on me once but it was very subtle in the way that I guessed he wanted me to initiate something and then I panicked and something in my stomach didn't feel right. I guess I wanted to be dated and not just a one night stand. I know he had a bad break up, and so I thought that he may just need some time to get over it, and so I decided that I would carry on being friends as I wanted us to know each other properly and I hoped he'd get to like me. I didn't want to be a rebound. Over the summer I went home, and he is all I could think about. I have now returned back to student halls and he was also suppose to come, but due to visa problems, he may not be able to come back to where I am. I am devastated as I decided over the summer that I would tell him how I feel, and then I could see if he felt the same way or I could move on. Now I am here and he isn't ,it is horrible as I miss him a lot. I can't tell anyone about it either. I now feel in limbo as I have tried to go out with other people but it isn't the same as when I talk to him. The thing is, he can't be that bothered about me as when we left each other he said that we would keep in contact, but he never took the initiative to mail me. When I mail him, he replies immediately but never takes the initiative. I don't know if I should mail and ask if we can Skype and tell him or should I just hope that he can make it back. He replied to my e-mail to say he hopes to come back but is not sure when due to the visa. Should I just wait and see if he comes back as I am not sure how long I will stay here. I sometimes regret not telling him last semester but I was scared it would ruin our friendship and I didn't want to move out of my place here. He is on Facebook and he recently put up a song about how to heal a broken heart. It sounds like he is still not over his ex. Any advice would be welcomed.

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mystikmind2005

Yea, well, obviously no matter how he feels about you, he is not going to be in any mood to trust those feelings or you.

 

You are right to give him space and be a friend to him, but you will have to do most of the work to carry this friendship forward.

 

But you have to be willing to do this without expecting for you to be together in the end, it may happen, but most likely not.

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It's possible that when you rejected his advance he thought you didn't like him that way. And he thinks you're just friend zoning him when you contact him.I would say be honest tell him you like him and if he does not feel that way move on. But I doubt he doesn't like you he's probably suffering from a bruised ego after you rejected him

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Thanks Lord Snow and Mystikmind for your responses. It makes me feel better about it all. Yeah I guess he is feeling quite sensitive at the moment and I guess the one time he did make a move, that took a lot of courage and he didn't want to put himself out there again, especially after his break up. I just have to hope that he comes back and if he does I will tell him how I feel. Thanks for your input :-)

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