Jellybean24 Posted October 26, 2015 Share Posted October 26, 2015 I feel so low today. This break up has turned my life upside down. We went out for almost five years. I broke up with him because he made me. He was one of those guys that would push you and push you until they break you. He manipulated every situation so that I looked like the crazy one but really he was too scared to do the dirty work himself. So we talk now and again, it's been about 5 months since the break up and I feel like he dumped me. He wouldn't talk to me about it, he wouldn't meet up with me (said it was too hard) and now his ex before me is back on the scene. Thing is, he never really cared about her. He always told me he loved me more that she was only young love. Now she's back and trying to win him over. She's hanging out with all his friends and trying her hardest to get him back. I feel like I'm living a nightmare. I have him blocked on everything but he can still reach out to me as I'm not going to change my number. We text occasionally. It's just a disaster. I'm finding it hard to cope as it is, but dealing with his ex as well. I don't know how to move forward. If I stop talking to him completely I'm afraid I'll drive him back to her. Link to post Share on other sites
WhatYouWantToHear Posted October 26, 2015 Share Posted October 26, 2015 If I stop talking to him completely I'm afraid I'll drive him back to her. Who cares? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Erlaad Posted October 26, 2015 Share Posted October 26, 2015 Send them both to hell. No mercy for exes, they don't deserve any. - Erl 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Mcnulty Posted October 26, 2015 Share Posted October 26, 2015 You take yourself out of this toxic triangle and you do it with dignity. I've just done it..it's bloody hard, I won't lie, but you have to renew yourself, away from the toxicity that both of these people exude. Do it, long term is what you must look at. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
loveiswar101 Posted October 27, 2015 Share Posted October 27, 2015 Move on...his loss. Why worry whats he's doing? Be strong don't reply if he get through. You're no ones puppet. More you worry about him the harder it is. Think of the bad things what he said etc. That's what I do, works a treat. Why would I want to be with someone who said though things, try it, it works. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jellybean24 Posted October 27, 2015 Author Share Posted October 27, 2015 I was doing somewhat okay until word got through the grape vine that they were hanging out. I confronted my ex and he denied it. I've no proof they are together but rumors. I don't know why he's lying to me either. He's telling mutual friends not to tell me if he's been with someone because he doesn't want to hurt me. We've only made it 21 days with out contact. He said he still loves me but needs to sort out his head. That's why I can't understand him. He's completely bi-polar. I miss him a lot. Thanks for all your responses, it really really helps! Feel so lonely sometimes. Link to post Share on other sites
TheLoveBelow92 Posted October 27, 2015 Share Posted October 27, 2015 Sorry to hear Jellybean, things shouldnt be that hard, and you seem to be the one taking all the pain from this, your heart is telling you one thing, but in reality you really should not care and that's the hardest part, all these things hurt but the less you know and hear the less it can hurt you because either way it doesnt make a difference, you really just have to make yourself and push on and meet someone down the line who is more worth your time 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jellybean24 Posted October 27, 2015 Author Share Posted October 27, 2015 Why do men give such mixed messages. He basically told me he's head is really messed up right now. I was out the other night and he arrived up to the bar I was drinking in with all his friends. He knew I was there because he had asked one of our mutual friends. It's so hard move on when he's sending such mixed signals. But the fact that his ex is back on the scene is making me run a mile. We live in a really small town so it's hard to avoid him when I go out with my friends. Truth is I miss him a lot but it's like timing just wasn't on our side. He wasn't mature enough for the relationship. I wish he would just text me one day and say how much he missed me and wanted to get back together... Thanks for your helpful words of encouragement. It's nice to know there's some support out there. Link to post Share on other sites
TheLoveBelow92 Posted October 27, 2015 Share Posted October 27, 2015 Why do men give such mixed messages. He basically told me he's head is really messed up right now. I was out the other night and he arrived up to the bar I was drinking in with all his friends. He knew I was there because he had asked one of our mutual friends. It's so hard move on when he's sending such mixed signals. But the fact that his ex is back on the scene is making me run a mile. We live in a really small town so it's hard to avoid him when I go out with my friends. Truth is I miss him a lot but it's like timing just wasn't on our side. He wasn't mature enough for the relationship. I wish he would just text me one day and say how much he missed me and wanted to get back together... Thanks for your helpful words of encouragement. It's nice to know there's some support out there. Its just relationships in general, I still miss my ex at nearly 4 months even when she told me to let go and move myself on, and shes right as hard as it was to hear I have to do just that always improve and never go back We live in a really small town so it's hard to avoid him when I go out with my friends. Truth is I miss him a lot but it's like timing just wasn't on our side. He wasn't mature enough for the relationship. I wish he would just text me one day and say how much he missed me and wanted to get back together... I have said the same thing myself and in the same circumstances but you just have to let go for your own sanity and you will get there and you will be surprised at how far you've come, just go no contact and leave the dog lie, what ever will be shall be. in the first stages of my breakup I kept telling myself I was ok and you know what I was even if I didnt think I was. Chin up Jellybean we have all been there 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jellybean24 Posted October 27, 2015 Author Share Posted October 27, 2015 Thanks thelovebelow92! Yea, I guess it's all about getting into the right frame of mind about the situation. It just hurt a lot when he went back to that ex. I guess it was just too convenient for him. Some days I'm doing okay and then other days are hard, it sporadically just hits me. The tears flood for five minutes and then I come to terms with it again. I've been in relationships before but this one just completely took its toll on me because we were so set on each other and then everything went head over heels. I'm between two minds on whether to talk to him or not. I wouldn't ignore him in person. But when he texts me for a friendly chat, which is rare, I don't know should I be writing back. I fear that if I don't I will push him into the arms of another girl. I don't want this. If he wasn't such an ass in the first place I wouldn't have been forced to break up with him. It's as simple as this- if he wanted to get back together all he has to do is text, but he doesn't. We're leaving it up to fate apparently... Link to post Share on other sites
loveiswar101 Posted October 29, 2015 Share Posted October 29, 2015 I'm 6 months on my friend. Now one month full NC after wishing her Happy Birthday. I still think of her everyday, but not a much each time. I shred a tear now and then but I guess its more I feel alone than anything. Then I pick myself up, dust myself down and think of bad times, bad things she said and did. It works. Fate is c**p. Sorry to say but it seems what your holding onto is hope, i do to even now but know what it's just a feeling that we all need to brush under the rug and move on. Work on you girl, do not spend emotions, time, energy on this person anymore. I said it before don't be his puppet...if you do this hope, pain will drag on forever. If you see him (being small town) just smile say hi and move on. If he text. DON'T reply. Why would you. You're not he's puppet. And another thing don't talk about him with friends, if his name comes up just ignore and tell you're friends you would rather not talk about it. Out of sight out of mind. Keep busy. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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