Was what I did that terrible

[d0nnivain]

I told you, if you stoop to her level & try to address the allegations she's hurling at you, you will cut yourself off. If you hold your head high & ignore her, anybody who heard what she has to say will not think less of you but will think she's the one stirring up drama.

 

 

Stay away from the guy. Don't respond to the crap she says about you. Cut down on your own drinking. Continue with your therapy & get some new hobbies. In a few months this will all be a distant memory.

[kaisergal]

I told you, if you stoop to her level & try to address the allegations she's hurling at you, you will cut yourself off. If you hold your head high & ignore her, anybody who heard what she has to say will not think less of you but will think she's the one stirring up drama.

 

 

Stay away from the guy. Don't respond to the crap she says about you. Cut down on your own drinking. Continue with your therapy & get some new hobbies. In a few months this will all be a distant memory.

 

I'm going to try not to! Thing it's where all my mates go and feel ive cut off my outlet.. Cause I know if I go there shell have a go. Can anyone explain thou why do I feel Ive committed worse crime going yet at point in time not even with him

[mrs rubble]

you're hung up on what this woman is saying because it's hit a soft spot... Really someone who thinks so little of themselves to repeatedly sleep with a mentally unstable lying theif who has 2 girlfriends already, you're afraid that what she's saying might be true.

You need to work on your self esteem, and realise that you deserve better, if you continue to hang out with these losers nothing will change.

Lay off the booze too.

[kaisergal]

you're hung up on what this woman is saying because it's hit a soft spot... Really someone who thinks so little of themselves to repeatedly sleep with a mentally unstable lying theif who has 2 girlfriends already, you're afraid that what she's saying might be true.

You need to work on your self esteem, and realise that you deserve better, if you continue to hang out with these losers nothing will change.

Lay off the booze too.

 

 

Well I guess so but its an ex and gf... He has started doing to the ex what he did/does to me talks to her but then if caught makes out it's the other person. It's just fact I dont know why I can't keep away from him

[kaisergal]

you're hung up on what this woman is saying because it's hit a soft spot... Really someone who thinks so little of themselves to repeatedly sleep with a mentally unstable lying theif who has 2 girlfriends already, you're afraid that what she's saying might be true.

You need to work on your self esteem, and realise that you deserve better, if you continue to hang out with these losers nothing will change.

Lay off the booze too.

 

 

 

But do u think she was right to go off like she did

[TaraMaiden2]

But do u think she was right to go off like she did

Yes.

No.

Don't know.

 

Take your pick.

 

Keep asking pointless questions, and you might as well just give up on this thread.

 

What others say or do, doesn't matter.

No, it doesn't.

 

What matters is what you do.

 

Being insecure doesn't make you stupid.

 

if you're in counselling, by all means use counselling/therapy to address your insecurities.

But being stupid is on the person themselves.

 

Just ask yourself, whenever something happens - 'shall I react stupidly, or cleverly?'

 

Hopefully, you'll choose the latter, and know what to do.

 

When others are stupid, it's better to box clever.

[kaisergal]

Yes.

No.

Don't know.

 

Take your pick.

 

Keep asking pointless questions, and you might as well just give up on this thread.

 

What others say or do, doesn't matter.

No, it doesn't.

 

What matters is what you do.

 

Being insecure doesn't make you stupid.

 

if you're in counselling, by all means use counselling/therapy to address your insecurities.

But being stupid is on the person themselves.

 

Just ask yourself, whenever something happens - 'shall I react stupidly, or cleverly?'

 

Hopefully, you'll choose the latter, and know what to do.

 

When others are stupid, it's better to box clever.

 

Well I acted stupid in first place for being the inbetweener and spy that was never cool. I shouldn't have gone near him been told too many times at this point in time the ex isn't with him but was using my info to try break them up which obviously also isn't working. Just feel humiliated and embarrassed yet if she don't want him bavk why the fuss and keep on talking to him

[TaraMaiden2]

Well I acted stupid in first place for being the inbetweener and spy that was never cool. I shouldn't have gone near him been told too many times at this point in time the ex isn't with him but was using my info to try break them up which obviously also isn't working. Just feel humiliated and embarrassed yet if she don't want him bavk why the fuss and keep on talking to him

Not your concern.

Drop the dead donkeys, move away and move on.

 

That was then.

This is now.

 

Quit beating yourself up about it.

 

There's kicking yourself for having been an idiot.

Then there's flogging yourself senseless when you could be making progress.

 

Choose 'progress'.

[kaisergal]

Not your concern.

Drop the dead donkeys, move away and move on.

 

That was then.

This is now.

 

Quit beating yourself up about it.

 

There's kicking yourself for having been an idiot.

Then there's flogging yourself senseless when you could be making progress.

 

Choose 'progress'.

 

I am trying just feel people are talking and making fun one thing I don't like. I did a wrong thing but didn' they for using me for info. Thing is she's trying to ruin their name by gossiping but really are people actually that bothered

Edited October 23, 2015 by kaisergal

[TaraMaiden2]

I am trying just feel people are talking and making fun one thing I don't like. I did a wrong thing but didn' they for using me for info. Thing is she's trying to ruin their name by gossiping but really are people actually that bothered

No.

In the great scheme of things, it's just something for people to talk about.

It's exactly like a fire.

You have to keep throwing stuff onto it to make it burn.

If you quit, it will go out.

Pay no attention to their 'fire'.

 

Soon enough, they'll get bored and find other drama to keep them going.

[kaisergal]

No.

In the great scheme of things, it's just something for people to talk about.

It's exactly like a fire.

You have to keep throwing stuff onto it to make it burn.

If you quit, it will go out.

Pay no attention to their 'fire'.

 

Soon enough, they'll get bored and find other drama to keep them going.

 

That is very true but she said ive disgraced myself,that I was a slag and how everyone has lost respect for me... That he'd told people I was lying and trying to split him and his gf up and not to believe me yet he's gone with me a quite a few times now and know what he's like

[TaraMaiden2]

You're still banging on about it.

 

Stop.

 

I told you before, quit beating it. (see my preceding posts....)

Quit explaining, adding things and expanding.

Stop looking back.

Look forward.

[kaisergal]

You're still banging on about it.

 

Stop.

 

I told you before, quit beating it. (see my preceding posts....)

Quit explaining, adding things and expanding.

Stop looking back.

Look forward.

 

I'm trying to look forward but feel Ive but myself dead in where I go now and don't like being made to look like ive committed a crime shell tell everyone I know

[kaisergal]

Really do feel **** bout this

[TaraMaiden2]

yeah, obviously.

 

Every time you make protestations, and use the word 'but', that's where you kick yourself.

Constantly hashing over what they're doing, just keeps you stuck, so they're achieving their objective.

Keeping you in the loop and unable to progress.

 

The more you give a toss about what they say and do, the more you're a victim.

Tell me something positive that has come out of this.

[kaisergal]

yeah, obviously.

 

Every time you make protestations, and use the word 'but', that's where you kick yourself.

Constantly hashing over what they're doing, just keeps you stuck, so they're achieving their objective.

Keeping you in the loop and unable to progress.

 

The more you give a toss about what they say and do, the more you're a victim.

Tell me something positive that has come out of this.

 

Nothing for one should never have been a messenger both parties had agendas of getting bk at this couple. The husband because his family has been ruined and the ex as she's been dumped... Me I guess subconsciously had an agenda on the girl as 3 years ago I told her then he was cheating with me and the ex she made friends with me only to do one on me by sleeping with him whilst I was in other room.

 

The ex ive been helping punched me in face in past because of hi too so really shouldn't of even of been nice to her

[TaraMaiden2]

Ok, let's review your very first post, shall we?

 

help me with my issues I need some serious advice on why i keep going wrong and making the same mistakes... Anyway i met this guy four ago thought he was great then things started to happen and found out he wasnt single as he made out was living with another woman and had a gf.

That was on you - you should have dumped him there and then.

 

I contacted the then gf told him he was cheating with me and she said lets be mates - bad move as she messed me about and used me to get one over on me.

No she didn't. As far as she was concerned, she was still his GF. YOU were the interloper. If anything you got one over on her... He cheated on her, with you, not the other way round...

 

Three years down the line ive slept with him on and off him making out he was single

again, this is on you. He never held a gun to your head and MADE you sleep with him. You did it because that's what you wanted to do.

 

lying to me i did know this deep down but just didnt want to admitt he was bad.

He was already a cheater and a liar.

Any foolish moves you made were certainly YOUR responsibility, yes...

 

In april he said he was really ill with his bipolar so felt sorry for him and slept with him he then was kicked out by his then gf only for the girl from 3 years ago to turn up and is now back with her.

Realy dumb reason for sleeping with anyone, is pity...

What makes you think he wasn't two-timing the both of you all the way through?

I suspect the liar-cheat never actually left her.

 

This girl in question is married with a kid and not particularly a nice person so i made an alliance with the ex gf and hus and was passing information on - what was i thinking???

I have no idea, but whatever it was, really wasn't very well thought-out, was it?

 

Saw him sat was extremely drunk but ended up sleeping with him afterwards

"He is not a fool who makes mistakes; He IS a fool who does not learn from them."

What on earth 'forced' you to sleep with him - again??

 

he was like i need to be alone and then i saw hed stolen 15 out my purse (hes known for this) i told the ex not realising the consequences of what i done

Really? You didn't stop to think that screwing around with this guy while he had 2 other women on the go, was the most ridiculous thing you could have done??

 

and she has now said ive chucked her under the bus and told everyone in my local.

It's possible, on reflection, that you may deserve a part of this. You mess around in this way without thinking, and guess what? Something

 

Im not a nasty person but very unsure of myself and because of my lack of confidence etc continue to be dragged in by thiis guy

Own it.

This has nothing to do with a 'lack of confidence' or being 'unsure of yourself'.

You got 'dragged in' because you wanted to be...

 

These were all choices. These were all decisions you made. This was all a huge cluster~fekk, and you made it.

 

I'm sorry.

I began answering your posts without having read your original thread-starter.

 

You have to start taking responsibility for what you did.

What they might be doing, may well be wrong.

You have to sit down, face a mirror and ask yourself: Is WHAT they're saying unjustified - or not?

 

You reap what you sow.

 

I'd lie low (and alone!) for some good time to come.

And quit feeding into their gossip. Instead, work on making better choices.

[kaisergal]

Ok, let's review your very first post, shall we?

 

 

That was on you - you should have dumped him there and then.

 

 

No she didn't. As far as she was concerned, she was still his GF. YOU were the interloper. If anything you got one over on her... He cheated on her, with you, not the other way round...

 

 

again, this is on you. He never held a gun to your head and MADE you sleep with him. You did it because that's what you wanted to do.

 

He was already a cheater and a liar.

Any foolish moves you made were certainly YOUR responsibility, yes...

 

 

Realy dumb reason for sleeping with anyone, is pity...

What makes you think he wasn't two-timing the both of you all the way through?

I suspect the liar-cheat never actually left her.

 

 

I have no idea, but whatever it was, really wasn't very well thought-out, was it?

 

 

"He is not a fool who makes mistakes; He IS a fool who does not learn from them."

What on earth 'forced' you to sleep with him - again??

 

 

Really? You didn't stop to think that screwing around with this guy while he had 2 other women on the go, was the most ridiculous thing you could have done??

 

 

It's possible, on reflection, that you may deserve a part of this. You mess around in this way without thinking, and guess what? Something

 

Own it.

This has nothing to do with a 'lack of confidence' or being 'unsure of yourself'.

You got 'dragged in' because you wanted to be...

 

These were all choices. These were all decisions you made. This was all a huge cluster~fekk, and you made it.

 

I'm sorry.

I began answering your posts without having read your original thread-starter.

 

You have to start taking responsibility for what you did.

What they might be doing, may well be wrong.

You have to sit down, face a mirror and ask yourself: Is WHAT they're saying unjustified - or not?

 

You reap what you sow.

 

I'd lie low (and alone!) for some good time to come.

And quit feeding into their gossip. Instead, work on making better choices.

 

 

Regarding the girl i felt got one over on her... he had dumped her for the ex at the time she said it would be good to be mates through what happened to stand up to him but wasnt just to use me to hurt me by using him. There are 2 women but one is an ex who protests doesnt want him back but is **** stirring as much as poss to try and split them up.

 

Yes I was wrong to fall for it time and time again but he always made out she was horrid to him that he wasnt well with his mental disorder etc... Regarding the passing on info the ex even got me to dob him in to fraud squad not advisable but at time thought it was right thing to do but guess it wasnt. Shouldve cut it dead in april i guess and let them fight over him.

[kaisergal]

I am in wrong but the others aren't totally innocent either

[TaraMaiden2]

I am in wrong but the others aren't totally innocent either

Others are not your business to fix, or change.

That's up to them.

Comparing your wrongs against theirs is like me saying "my lawn is short, but my neighbour won't mow his."

 

You can do nothing about them.

Deal with yourself.

[kaisergal]

Others are not your business to fix, or change.

That's up to them.

Comparing your wrongs against theirs is like me saying "my lawn is short, but my neighbour won't mow his."

 

You can do nothing about them.

Deal with yourself.

 

So really I shouldn't of got involved with the shell we say **** stirring... But why is the ex so seriously pissed off IF she doesn't want him bk

[TaraMaiden2]

So really I shouldn't of got involved with the shell we say **** stirring...

No.

Let it go.

Water off a duck's back.

 

But why is the ex so seriously pissed off IF she doesn't want him bk

 

Irrelevant.

You're asking pointless questions again.

[kaisergal]

No.

Let it go.

Water off a duck's back.

 

 

 

Irrelevant.

You're asking pointless questions again.

 

But I know shell have a go when I see her infront of my mates

[TaraMaiden2]

But I know shell have a go when I see her infront of my mates

 

Are you capable of biting your tongue and just walking away?

Are you capable of avoiding such encounters?

 

 

Don't stay in the same room as her.

 

Sorted.

[kaisergal]

You could find new friends. That way you wouldn't have all these concerns about what all these people do or don't do.

 

 

It's useful to look at the common denominator in situations...if it's you - then start changing everything so you have a new result.

 

It's also useful to eliminate toxic people from your life. Assess carefully then decide if you are choosing all the drama by staying involved.

 

 

It will always boil down to YOUR decisions. You can choose differently if you don't like the way your life is going.

 

My friends are fins just its him I don't know why keep making same mistake with him he isn't even all that nice... It's the ex gf more worried about