BlueIris Posted November 18, 2015 Share Posted November 18, 2015 (edited) OP, I see this is an old-ish thread but I hope you’re watching. I didn’t read others’ posts but I bet they were much more balanced and reasonable than my advice is going to be. But I’m serious: Bribe her. You don’t have to call it that. Call it “offering enrichment.” I am really serious. I’ve seen so many cases like this and the kid, especially early teens, gets enticed by the loose, laid back, super fun, screw-up parent and the kid gets off track and into trouble. My kids had a stepmom like that and she did so much damage you can’t imagine. She freaking smoked pot with my youngest and gave them birth control “as their little secret” AND secretly gave one of my kids diet pills. I do not like her. So… what does you daughter love? Theater? Horses? Maybe a cool (but safe) car when she’s 16 so long as she has a 3.7 at XYZ well-respected high school? How about that really cool sailing camp in Florida? Is she an athlete? Studies show that girls who are seriously involved in sports are less likely to get involved in drugs, smoking, and boys and are less likely to get pregnant. Sports are great! I swam. My kids did horseback riding, track and field and ballet. Good for body image too. (The ballet not so much- too much emphasis on being tiny) Another thing- foreign study. I swear by it. A year in a great country they’re fascinated by is fantastic, and they grow and find their inner strength, so much maturity for so little parental effort! Start with a two week trip to visit countries of interest this summer. Key into her dreams and the things she likes most. Then find the way to give her the opportunity to do those things IF she's still going to a demanding school and getting good grades and NOT getting into trouble. That’s what I’d do- and did (once party-girl-stepmom decided to play her party tricks). Edited November 18, 2015 by BlueIris Link to post Share on other sites
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