nightmare01 Posted October 30, 2015 Share Posted October 30, 2015 Lots of talk of religion. As an atheist, I find religious belief systems quaint. I don't mind them at all, all that matters is if the person is a good person. That aside - because it doesn't matter to me. How is it ok with you as a married person, to have an affair? I'm not interested in morals (right now), just what is the mechanism you use to justify your actions? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Hello Genius Posted October 30, 2015 Author Share Posted October 30, 2015 Lots of talk of religion. As an atheist, I find religious belief systems quaint. I don't mind them at all, all that matters is if the person is a good person. That aside - because it doesn't matter to me. How is it ok with you as a married person, to have an affair? I'm not interested in morals (right now), just what is the mechanism you use to justify your actions? Ok. I didn't want to go there but hubby suggested it. We have a don't ask/don't tell arrangement. Link to post Share on other sites
nightmare01 Posted October 31, 2015 Share Posted October 31, 2015 Ok. I didn't want to go there but hubby suggested it. We have a don't ask/don't tell arrangement. Ah. I see. You and your husband have an open marriage? And you're both ok with the other sleeping with other people. Ok, got it. So if your boyfriend's SO contacts you or your husband, then you both are ok with that. I think the problem is probably that your boyfriend is not in an open relationship. He does not have the same sort of relationship you do. And that can be a problem. She will be pretty pissed, and will blame you. It might be a good idea to give your husband a heads up so he can watch out for a BW coming his way. The only thought I have right now is that it would be best to not hook up in the future with anyone that isn't in the same type of relationship you are. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Hello Genius Posted November 1, 2015 Author Share Posted November 1, 2015 Ah. I see. You and your husband have an open marriage? And you're both ok with the other sleeping with other people. Ok, got it. So if your boyfriend's SO contacts you or your husband, then you both are ok with that. I think the problem is probably that your boyfriend is not in an open relationship. He does not have the same sort of relationship you do. And that can be a problem. She will be pretty pissed, and will blame you. It might be a good idea to give your husband a heads up so he can watch out for a BW coming his way. The only thought I have right now is that it would be best to not hook up in the future with anyone that isn't in the same type of relationship you are. True if that were the case. But BF is divorced. He has a long distance gf. Not exclusive with her. Link to post Share on other sites
Popsicle Posted November 1, 2015 Share Posted November 1, 2015 He's probably just tired of being in an affair and it's not really about the religious stuff. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
chapter44 Posted November 1, 2015 Share Posted November 1, 2015 IMO I think he is just trying to reconcile his spiritual beliefs with his actions. Obviously he confesses his relationship with you because his faith tells him it's a sin and he is looking to be absolved. I don't think his need to confess is any reflection on you or his feelings for you but rather his way of dealing with the conflict between his religious beliefs and his actions. So I don't think you should be flattered or upset. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ShatteredLady Posted November 1, 2015 Share Posted November 1, 2015 Is the only purpose of the OM for YOU a bit of fun & sex? If so I think this ones run its course & is going to become a lot less fun as it progresses from here. We can mock him for being a 'catholic' who doesn't full grasp the basics of the rituals of his religion (in my experience there are plenty of them around) but the fact remains that to HIM you are a sin he needs to confess. This must effect the 'fun' aspect of your relationship. If you hope to get more than just sex & entertainment from a lover is this guy really the right one for you? As a thoughtful, intelligent woman he would be raising plenty of red flags particularly in the depth department.... If that doesn't matter & he's hitting the right spot in other ways I hope it at least gives you & your hubby a laugh. Your life style isn't my chosen one but to each their own. If ALL 4 of you are ok with this (other than the whole you're going to hell thing) enjoy it while it lasts! Link to post Share on other sites
DKT3 Posted November 1, 2015 Share Posted November 1, 2015 If you marriage is good outside of your husband not being interested in having sex with you, then why complicate your outside sexual relationship? I'm feelings are your expecting and wanting more, if that's the case why stay married? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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