jrode23 Posted October 28, 2015 Share Posted October 28, 2015 Tonight will be two weeks since my ex of 14 months broke up with me and, while some days are all right, I still have a lot of days where I'm just sad, miserable, and can't stop thinking about her. No matter how objectively I look at the situation, I can't understand why this happened. I know I don't need to know why, just that it did, but I truly believe she was the perfect girl for me. We were such a great fit. Every time I think I'm over the hump, I'll have a bad day and it will just sink me back down. I really thought this was the girl I was going to end up marrying. Now, most of what I've known for over the past year has been ripped from me and I just don't think anyone around me understands how difficult this is. I keep hearing, "it takes time," but I'm genuinely starting to worry that time won't make any bit of difference. Just wondering if people have been in similar situations and have had any success with counselors. I know I'm probably going to hear a lot of the same stuff I've read, so I'm not sure it's justified. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted October 28, 2015 Share Posted October 28, 2015 If you're still stuck after months, then think about getting professional help. This is early times. Perfectly normal. Yes, I had success with counseling, marriage counseling, with a professional psychologist. It lasted around fourteen months and cost around five grand. It was perfect for that time of life, relationship, and need. IMO, there's a time and a place for everything and this isn't it, yet. Link to post Share on other sites
Minnie09 Posted October 28, 2015 Share Posted October 28, 2015 I always start out really motivated, but then after a few appointments, I'm like "Duh - I knew that. Thank you very much." And some counsellors give you "homework" and exercises and stuff and I'm like "who's got time for that?" - yes I know you should MAKE time for important things and be more mindful, but I tend to lose interest after a few appointments. I think I derive joy out of someone getting paid to listen to me and only me 100% ...... But it gets old. I always feel after a while that I know more than them. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
StBreton Posted October 28, 2015 Share Posted October 28, 2015 (edited) Hey OP ...sorry that happened to you ...it's difficult when one day all you've known is suddenly changed ...kinda leaves you reeling ...your hopes/dreams feel shattered ...your confused and disappointed. I did go to counseling after my separation ...for a month. I found it very helpful just to process some emotions and have someone focus on hearing and acknowledging my pain and walking me through the process of grieving. I recommend it as a short term solution for an acute problem. Maybe get a book on grieving ...doesn't matter what the event ...grieving stages are pretty much the same. I also did a woman's retreat ..that was really awesome. Maybe do something like that ...lots of men's retreats What you don't need at this time is anyone telling you "you'll get over it...it just takes time"...you're not ready to hear that right now. Yes you'll get there ...but it's down a winding path that you'll have to take ...the grieving path. I'm still on the path and it's starting to look like spring There's a lot of support on this forum as so many have been in your shoes. Don't be a stranger Edited October 28, 2015 by StBreton Link to post Share on other sites
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